That's How It's Done Around Here
by StoryOfMyLife975
Summary: The sand siblings shipped off to a prestigious boarding school? Not your average high school AU. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well, look a here! I finally got off my semi-fat arse and wrote something for a change. Now if I would only start submitting art to my devART profile...ahem Anyway, this is my first fic. I've always wanted to do a ShikaTem cuz their my favorite het couple (most of my faves are yaoi ). I have no idea how long this one's going to be. It will probably take a while, and you can probably skip most of these author's notes because they're useless, like moi. Um...I think that's all I have to say for now. This first chapter is almost like a prologue, so please don't get bored and stop reading! It gets more exciting, I promise. And btw, the chapters alternate with Temari and Shika's p.o.v.'s. Don't get confoozled! I don't plan on labeling them "Temari" and "Shikamaru." Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Kishimoto pwns because he owns Naruto. Lucky bastard.**

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I stared speechless at the glossy, triple-folded piece of paper on the table.

"Um…what?" I asked, my brain frozen with shock. My father shoved the brochure towards me.

"You're going to boarding school," he repeated, smiling smugly. "You've been home-schooled long enough. You need to develop some social skills. Get away from home. Mingle with people."

I realized my mouth was hanging open. I snapped it shut and shook my head, trying to understand what was going on. Finally it hit me.

He was sending me away.

Now the words came. "What the hell?! You can't send me to some god-forsaken prison in the middle of nowhere! I'm doing just fine here in Suna!"

"Watch your language, young lady. You're already on thin ice," he replied, a frown creasing his forehead.

"What are you _talking_ about? I haven't done anything!" I yelled.

"You haven't done anything? What about that last fight? Or two? Or five?!" Now his tone of voice matched mine.

"It wasn't my fault!"

"The same excuse, over and over."

"But I-"

"No more buts," he interrupted me. "Here's what's going to happen. You're going to sit down and read that brochure. After that, you're going to figure out what you're taking with you, because the semester starts next week. You're going to go to that school and like it." His demands taken care of, my father turned to leave the room. He was halfway out the door when I stopped him.

"Why are you sending me away?" I asked in a hoarse voice. I had never deluded myself by thinking that we had a normal father-daughter relationship. He was never home, and my brothers and I had gone through life taking care of ourselves. But I never thought he would be so cruel as to send me away from my home.

He stopped, not turning around. "You have been having problems with behaving yourself, and your brothers have many problems of their own. Don't worry, they're coming with you. But this is what's necessary." He walked away, down the hallway. As I collapsed in a chair, I could've sworn I heard him say, "It's for the best."

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After reading the brochure, I came to the conclusion that the school was going to be absolute hell. It was too…happy. The brochure of doom advertised the wonderful location: somewhere in the mountains. I lived in the freakin' desert. It's flat. What the hell would I want with _mountains_?

It also broadcasted the size of the estate and the student body. The school's lands were huge, and I had no problem with that, but it also had a large student body. Lots of people lots of enemies, in my experience. I did better in small settings. So did Kankurou and Gaara. But then, my father wouldn't know this, seeing as he was always busy being somewhere far from us.

Of course, it wasn't all bad. There were a few perks, like the fact that the school was co-ed.

_Thank God for that,_ I thought in relief. I never liked girls. They were too scared of everything and they worried about the dumbest things, like whether a dress made them look chunky. Guys, on the other hand, knew how to have fun. Hopefully I could meet some guys that I wouldn't scare too much, but also understood that I didn't want them staring at my chest all day. Kind of hard to find, though, as most guys I met just wanted to grope now, talk later.

Another good attribute of the school was the pool. Even though I lived in Suna, we had plenty of swimming pools. Don't ask why or how, because I don't know. All I know is that I love to swim.

Lastly, the brochure announced that it had groups for all interests. I snickered at that. _All_ interests? Hmph. I wondered if they had a club for anger-prone blondes.

After finishing the brochure (twice), I heaved a sigh of resignation and decided that I had to go to the school and just make the best of it. I knew in my gut that my life was about to be miserable, but what could I do? Anyway, at least Gaara and Kankurou were coming with me. I trudged upstairs to start packing.

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I sat on my bed and looked at my room. He told me to pack. But how do you stuff seventeen years of memories into a suitcase? Sure, they weren't all warm, fuzzy Kodak moments, but it was still my life.

_Well, Temari,_ I thought to myself, _your life's going in a new direction now. This is no time to get sentimental. _

I sighed and headed to my closet. In a fit of despair I began throwing anything and everything into the suitcase opened on my bed. In went my clothes, hangers and all. In went toiletries, hair ties, personalized stationery, whatever I could get my hands on. After the madness left me, I looked back at the suitcase, only to find it had disappeared under a mountain of indistinguishable junk.

I groaned. Already this school had started wearing me down, and I wasn't even there yet!

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Four days later, I stood with my brothers and our luggage at the train station. Our father had dropped us off with a quick goodbye and a warning: Pull any stupid stuff, and he'd have our butts for breakfast. Without milk.

As we stepped onto the train, I looked back at the village I had grown up in. I couldn't help wondering if it was the last time I would see it. Who knew where my father would ship us off to next?

I was rudely knocked out of my thoughts when Kankurou shoved me on his way to our seats.

"Last one at the seats has to buy snacks!" he yelled, giddy with excitement. I rolled my eyes.

"Could you be a little louder, Kankurou? I don't think the Hidden Mist village has heard you yet," I said sarcastically. The moron looked at me and grinned.

"Alright, then. RACE YOU TO THE SEATS!!!" he shouted at an ear-shattering volume. I gritted my teeth. Sometimes it seemed like he lived to make my life miserable. Then again, what are little brothers for?

I decided that it was time to teach Kankurou a lesson. I took him up on the bet and raced to our seats, plopping down seconds before he did. Somehow, Gaara was there before either of us. When Kankurou saw that I had beaten him, his bottom lip stuck out into a pout.

"No fair!" he complained, crossing his arms. "You cheated."

I scoffed. "Don't be immature. You're just slow, and that's all there is to it." We glared at each other for a long moment before I gave him an evil smile. "By the way, Kanky, aren't you supposed to be fetching my chips from the dining car?"

His eyes bulged as he repeatedly opened and shut his mouth, searching for something to say. He looked exactly like a fish.

Finally he looked daggers at me, muttered "Don't call me Kanky," and trudged off towards the dining car. A few of our fellow passengers who had seen the whole exchange were staring at me. I stared back until one by one they found other interesting things to look at, like the ceiling. I never understood why people either looked at the ceiling or the floor when they were caught staring at someone. Didn't they know that you can tell they're guilty when they look away?

When Kankurou returned with my chips (chock full of calories, none of that low-fat nonsense for me, thank you very much), the train was beginning to move. I had gotten the window seat, and I settled in and took out my iPod. The trip was going to be a long one, and it was a good thing I had brought my tunes. Otherwise I might have had to actually try to make friendly conversation with a stranger. Ugh.

I put my songs on Shuffle, popped a chip in my mouth and prepared for the ride. The first song to come up was "Give 'Em Hell, Kid."

Perfect.

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**A/N: Okay, I know it was horribly short, but it's like a prologue, as I said before. Just for some background. I hope you liked it! And pleeeeease, pretty please with sugar, cherries, and smut on top, don't forget to review! If you don't I'll cry. Oh, and constructive criticism only. If you're not gonna tell me something that will help me, don't write mean comments. I'm sensitive XD. Love you all!**

**Edit: Before I get sued, I just want to say that the song "Give 'Em Hell, Kid" belongs to none other than My Chemical Romance. I'M SORRY, GERARD, MIKEY, RAY, FRANK, AND BOB! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I can't believe I wrote a second chapter! Duuuuuude. I'm on a roll! This chapter is longer, so can't hate me for being short like last time. I uploaded last chapter and this one at the same time, so if you commented I haven't seen it yet, for it is in the future O.o**

**Anywho, this chapter is in Shika-darling's point of view. And some conflict arises! But between whom? Read to find out! **

**I sound like an infomercial...ew...**

**Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto STILL pwns Naruto and all associated characters. I hate him for pwning them, but I love him with all my heart. Emotional conflict much?**

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"There's only a week until school starts! Aren't you excited?" shrieked the blue-eyed blonde standing in front of me. Somehow, it didn't surprise me that Ino was ecstatic about returning to the boarding school we both attended. She was ecstatic about everything.

"Excited?" I asked her. "Why would I be excited? I can't sleep late on weekdays when we're at school."

Ino just rolled her eyes at my indifference. "That's a good thing. We never have enough time to hang out because you're always sleeping!"

"You wouldn't know I was sleeping if you weren't always at my house." Over the years, she had made my house her second home. And my mother loved Ino, so she was no help when I tried to kick her out. It also didn't help that I was too lazy to actually do any kicking.

"Well, your mom loves it when I come over," Ino retaliated, as if she had read my mind. Kind of creepy how girls seem to have that ability. If females the world over banded together, guys wouldn't have a chance. But that would never happen, seeing that girls are too busy fighting each other to try for world domination.

"The only reason the hag lets you come within five miles of me is because you're like a mild version of her," I told her. "If you were any other girl, she would've eaten you alive by now."

"Don't be silly," Ino said. "Who could resist my charm and charisma?" She flamboyantly flipped her long blond hair.

"I could," I said impassively. Ino just laughed and shook her head at me.

"Shikamaru," she said, "why do you act like you're so…so…nonsexual?"

"Isn't that kind of a big word for you?"

"Don't change the subject!" Ino snapped at me. "Really, you act like you're not attracted to women whatsoever. It's impossible to be a guy and not like girls! Of course, unless you're gay…"

"I'm not gay," I responded wearily. We'd had this conversation several times before, and I was tired of it.

"Alright then!" Ino said brightly. "Just admit that you're just like any other guy and you like girls."

"Women are too troublesome to waste my time with." I turned to walk away, but Ino grabbed my arm and twisted it painfully in an effort to make me listen to her.

"Come _on_, Shika! Why can't you just admit, for once, that I'm right about these things?" I scowled at her. "Admit it!" she demanded.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine," I conceded. "You're right about these things. Now let me go."

Ino stared at me for a minute, then shook her head sadly. "You still don't believe me, do you?" she said sorrowfully.

"Nope." I tried to pull my arm from her iron grip, but she just held tighter.

"Fine," she hissed. "You know what? You're going to jinx yourself. One of these days you're going to like a girl. Reeeeeally like a girl. And you're going to need my help. But I'm not going to help you, oh no. You're going to have to figure it out by yourself. And you're going to screw up and --"

By this time I had somehow escaped her hold on my arm, and I began backing away. "Sorry, Ino, I have to go," I said in a fake apologetic voice. "Have to start packing. School starts next week, you know!" I began running home. Well, in my case, running wasn't the best word. It was more like walking quickly.

"Just wait, Shikamaru!" Ino screamed to my retreating back. "You'll see I'm right!"

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I sat down on my bed with a sigh. I couldn't believe my summer would be gone in just a week. Amazing how time flies when you can sleep all morning.

And school…well. School was okay. It took way too much time and energy, but it was fun. Most of the time.

Some of the time.

Well, it had a pool. That should count for something.

Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I stood and looked around my room. Packing wouldn't be much trouble. All I needed were clean clothes and toiletries. I wasn't one of those people who brought their whole entertainment center with them. If I ever wanted to play video games or something (which was highly unlikely), I could always borrow Kiba's. He was one of the "whole-entertainment-center" packers.

I paused for a moment when I came across a photograph of my parents and I. It had been in my closet underneath a pile of junk for who knew how long, but it was still okay. I picked it up and debated whether to bring it or not. After a moment I threw it into my bag. Might as well. Everyone else put pictures of their families on the walls of the dorms. Half of them thought I was an orphan because I had never brought a picture of my family before.

After packing my toothbrush, hairbrush (which I hardly used, I just kept my hair up all the time) and deodorant, I was bushed. Packing takes a lot out of you when you've just spent a whole summer lying around. I collapsed on my bed and fell asleep almost before my head hit the pillow.

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Six days later my father drove me to the school. Ah, the educational facility. Beautiful, yet functional.

Hey, it had a pool, right?

Anyway, after pulling up to the large front building, he offered to carry my bags up to my room for me. Being me, I let him go ahead and take them.

I had always liked the front walkway. It was bordered by tall bushes that flowered in the spring. The walkway itself was made of stone tiles, mortared together into a mosaic-like image of the school's emblem: the shape of a shield with roses entertwined around the outside, and on the inside, the letters H, P, and S. Honshu Prepatory School.

We arrived inside the front building and my dad signed me in at the front desk. After receiving my schedule and the key to my room, we headed over to the dorms so I could get situated.

The dorms were okay. They were nicer than most, but the rooms were still way too small. I opened the door to my room, expecting it to be empty except for two beds.

What I didn't expect was to see Sasuke sitting on one of the beds. When he heard the door open, he turned around and stared. I stared back. Apparently, neither of us were able to believe that the other was our roommate for the entire school year.

After a few moments, Dad broke the silence. "Hey there, Sasuke," he said brightly. "What a surprise, huh? Never would've expected them to stick you two together." He put my stuff down on the unoccupied bed, said a quick "See you later, Shikamaru" and was gone. I guess the bad vibes got to him.

There was another awkward silence as Sasuke and I glared openly at each other. Finally he said, "I know you don't like me."

"Yep."

"And I don't like you," he continued.

"I know."

"Then that's settled. We can live together peacefully, but it doesn't make us friends."

"My sentiments exactly," I replied.

Sasuke got up and walked out of the room. I watched him go, then laid back on the bed with a sigh. _Great start to the school year_, I thought to myself as I dozed off.

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When I woke up a half hour later, Sasuke was still gone, so I decided to unpack my crap. I looked around the room as I unzipped my suitcase. They hadn't changed anything. The room held the two beds, a closet, a small dresser, and a desk with a computer sitting on top. I put my clothes in the dresser (I didn't like hanging up my clothes, it required reaching up), put the small plastic box containing my toiletries on top of the dresser, and plugged my alarm clock into the wall.

After stowing my bags in the closet, I stood back and looked around. The room was neat, my things were put away, and the day was still young. The maid would be around later to put sheets on the bed and towels in the room. I walked down the hallway to the right. I had to find Chouji; he always had comfort food. And I was in need of something full of fat to prepare me for a year of Sasuke.

I didn't know exactly when Sasuke and I had begun to hate each other; it just, well, happened. All I knew was that we couldn't stand each other. He didn't like me because I wasn't a "hard worker." I didn't like him because he was the typical angsty teenager. Of course, this put me at odds with Ino, who was completely obsessed with him, along with every other girl at Honshu Prep. Why couldn't they understand that he wasn't going to pick any of them?

I was halfway down the stairs when I almost slammed into someone. I shifted to the side of the stairway just in time to avoid being knocked into. I couldn't see who the person was, seeing as they were holding a big box in front of them, but I knew it was a guy when he pushed past me and grumbled, "Watch where you're going, dumbass," in a deep voice. I turned my head to see who it was, but he was already to the top of the stairs, All I saw was a black hoodie with...cat ears?

I shook off the encounter as just one of those weird things and headed down the rest of the stairs and out the door. Chouji had to be around here somewhere.

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**A/N: Soooo. How'd ya like it? I hope you lubbed it. I lubbed writing it. Why am I saying "lubbed"? I don't know. I'm a little high on ice cream right now. Don't forget to review, loves! I'm not British, but I'm going to call you loves anyway. Again, constructive criticism ONLY. No meanies allowed. I love you all! bear hug**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Third chapter is up and running! But first and foremost, I just want to thank everyone for actually reading this crap, and for people who put it on their favorites and alerts. You people are lovely. Special thanks to mango spoons, mesammi and Kajiin for the first three comments. You have no idea how much it means to me that you like this. I have HOPE!**

**Anyway, this chapter is a monster. It's got to be twice as long as the first two. Poor Temari...I'm putting her through so much! Some conflict in this chapter. Enjoy! Oh, by the way, this chapter's in Temari's pov.**

**Disclaimer: I had a dream that I owned Naruto, but it turned out to just be a dream. It still belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. **

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When we arrived at the school, my brothers and I were astounded by how big it was. I mean, we had all seen the pictures, but they were nothing compared to the real thing. And not only was it big, it was beautiful. There was lush greenery everywhere you looked, and it complemented the grand old buildings perfectly. Eventually, though, we picked our jaws up off the floor and tried to look like we were used to this kind of thing. Which was hard to do, seeing how Kankurou was acting like a little kid on Christmas morning.

He ran up the walkway ahead of us, looking at everything with eyes as big as dinner plates, and yelling about how great everything was. At least Gaara kept on his usual emotionless face. If _he_ started gushing, it would be the end of life as we know it.

I felt the same way about the school as Kankurou did. Who wouldn't? It was amazing. We'd never seen one so huge. But the difference between Kankurou and I was that while he didn't care if he seemed like a 6-foot-tall child, I had a reputation to maintain. Even though these people didn't know it yet, I was known for my aggressiveness, cynicism, and all-around hostile personality. No matter; they would find out soon enough.

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After getting our schedules and room assignments (the front-desk lady was so nice it made me want to puke), the three of us tried to figure out where the heck we were supposed to go. We stood there looking like complete idiots while I studied the papers we were given.

"Okay," I said, "how is this supposed to help us? It's telling us the room number, but not where the actual building is that has the room in it."

"Well, figure it out. You're the oldest," Kankurou said, still dazed by the school's grandeur.

I saw some guy walking by us. He was young enough to be a student, but old enough to look like he might be able to help us. Besides, he looked confident. He probably knew his way around the place.

"Excuse me," I called to him. He stopped and turned towards me, pointing at himself and raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, you," I assured him. "You know your way around this place?"

He strolled over to us, a cocky smile on his lips.

"Yeah, I know this place like the back of my hand," he said self-confidently. "Need help finding your way around?"

"We need to know where the dorms are." I showed him our room assignments, and he nodded.

"I know where these are. Want me to show you?"

By this time, I wasn't liking the way he was looking me up and down like a piece of meat. I glared at him and said, "Just show us where the rooms are." I hoped he would take a hint, because I really didn't want to get in trouble on my first day.

No such luck. He raised his eyebrow again and smirked conceitedly. "Don't be like that," he said. "Just trying to help, babe." He smiled the smile of a guy who gets whatever girl he wants. Well, not this time.

"You've got too much charisma for your own good, kid," I said from between gritted teeth. "Your best bet is to just tell us where to go, because I really don't have the time to kick your ass right now." My hands were clenched into fists at my sides. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Kankurou and Gaara looking worriedly at me.

That bastard just looked at me and laughed. "Oh, please, you know you want me," he said smugly.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I dropped my bags to the ground and leapt for his throat. I could almost feel his neck between my hands when someone stepped in front of me. In my rage I would have gladly killed them both, but Kankurou was suddenly holding my back by the waist and as mad as I was, he wouldn't let me go. I struggled in Kankurou's arms for a moment, then tried to calm down by taking deep breaths. It took a lot of self-control, but the red haze in front of my eyes eventually faded.

When he felt me stop wiggling, he asked, "If I let you go, will you try not to murder him?" I nodded, and he released me. They were all staring at me, waiting to see what I would do. I ran my hand over my head and took another deep breath. The chauvinist pig I had jumped at was on the ground, staring at me with wide frightened eyes. He was shaking. Good.

But who was this guy who blocked me from getting my hands around his throat? I looked him over. He was pale, with shiny blue-black hair and an expression on his face much like Gaara's.

"Who the fuck are you?" I demanded rudely. He ignored my question, instead turning to the asshole.

"You should know better," he said in a flat voice. "This isn't the first attempt on your life by an angry girl. Maybe you should leave."

The Pig frowned at him and opened his mouth to say something, but shut it when he realized that the guy was right. Piggy got to his feet, dusting off his butt and trying to retain any last shred of dignity that he had left. He looked at me, and, finding nothing to say, went "Hmph," turned on his heel and walked away.

I watched him go, then looked back at New Guy. He was standing off to the side with his hands in his pockets.

"You never answered my question," I reminded him. He looked at me but didn't say anything, and he seemed as if he were waiting. I realized this and felt my face threaten to heat up with the feeling of stupidity. "I asked you who you are." I successfully pushed back the blush, looking impudently at him.

He was quiet for a moment before he said, "Uchiha Sasuke."

"Well, would _you_ happen to know where these rooms are?" I asked, tired of the whole thing and his reluctance to speak. He nodded, and began walking off to our right.

The three of us followed him across the lawn towards another huge building, the walls covered in ivy. At the big wooden door he stopped and said, "This is the boys' dorm. You two can probably figure it out from here." Kankurou picked up both of their bags, and the two of them went in.

When they were inside, Sasuke kept walking straight until we arrived at the girls' dorm. Sitting outside on the big front porch of the dorm were three girls. The one with the long blonde ponytail hopped up and ran over to Sasuke and I.

"So _this_ is the new girl?" she asked excitedly.

Sasuke, seeming uneasy, said, "You should be alright from here," and left in a hurry.

The blonde, seeing him go, yelled, "Sasuke! Come baaaaack!" and ran after him. Suddenly he sped up, running away as fast and as far as humanly possible. When she realized he wasn't coming back, her shoulders slumped and she walked back towards the porch. But as soon as she saw me, she perked up.

"Oh my gosh, you're the girl from Suna?" she screeched. I nodded silently. She gave an earsplitting shriek, and then began bombarding me with questions.

"You're so much prettier than I thought! Although you do look like you just got in a fight. Did you just get in a fight? With who? What's Suna like? Why are you at this school? Which room is yours?"

When she had finished she looked eagerly at me, waiting for answers to her many questions. I chose the easiest question to answer and, glancing at my papers, told her, "I'm in room four-eighteen B."

The girl clapped her hands to her mouth in shock, then grabbed me by the shoulders and screamed, "I'M in room four-eighteen! We're roommates!"

When she said that, the only coherent thought going through my head was, _I'm going to need a hearing aid_. She jumped around a bit more, then noticed I wasn't talking. She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the porch, where the other two girls were sitting there as if this sort of thing happened every day. Of course, it probably did.

"Now, don't be shy," the hyperactive blonde told me. "I'll introduce you to my friends, 'kay?" She didn't wait for an answer.

"This is Hinata." The shy-looking one with the glossy black hair and odd silver-white eyes raised her hand and waved timidly at me.

"...And this is TenTen." The brunette with the two buns smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. I got the feeling that she wasn't exactly loving me like the hyper one was.

Blondie took my hand again and was preparing to tow me into the building when I stopped her, saying, "Um, if you don't mind me asking, who exactly are _you_?"

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe I didn't introduce myself, of all people!" She smacked herself in the forehead. "I'm Ino. Yamanaka Ino. And what's your name?"

I hesitated before saying, "Temari." I had a hunch that I would be hearing a certain blue-eyed blonde calling my name in that high voice of hers a _lot_. And I was right.

"Temari, Temari, Temari," Ino sang, grabbing one of my bags with one hand and my hand in her other. "Time to get you settled!" She pulled me into the doorway of the dorm building, Hinata and TenTen not far behind.

We piled into the elevator (it had an elevator?!) and Ino pressed the "4" button. As we went up she chattered about how much I was going to love the school and how everyone was going to love me so much. Amazing how much she could fit into the space of a minute. By the time we stopped at the door of our room, I had found out the following things:

1. The school had really good food,

2. It was extremely exciting here (in Ino's opinion), and

3. Almost every girl in the whole school was obsessed with the Sasuke guy.

Ino was still talking about Sasuke as she unlocked the door and we stepped inside. I dropped my bags on one of the twin beds inside the room and looked around, barely even listening. The room was small, but nice, and at least it had a computer. Hopefully with internet access.

My ears tuned back in as Ino was saying something about emo.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I was saying that the other guys think Sasuke's either emo or gay," she said without missing a beat.

"Is it true?"

"Of course not! If he was emo he'd cut himself and paint his nails and stuff, and I sure haven't seen any scars. And he can't be gay. He just can't. The other guys are just jealous."

I rolled my eyes at her twisted concept of "emo." "All emos don't cut themselves, Ino," I told her.

"Sure," she said, not believing me. "Anyway, I can't wait for tomorrow! Do you have your schedule? Maybe you have the same classes that I do." I held up my schedule and she snatched it out of my hand, comparing it with hers.

"Yes!" she said. "You have Gym with me. TenTen and Hinata have that class too. ...And...Home Ec? Okay. We have History together, and...music. Alright!" Ino tossed my schedule back to me. "Temari, you know what?" she said.

Sensing a set-up, I cautiously said, "What?"

"I think we're going to be really good friends!" she said, hugging me. I stood there, not hugging her back, until she squeezed harder. I put my arms loosely about her shoulders in a sad impression of a hug just to get her off of me. She accepted it and backed off, looking satisfied.

Ino grabbed a towel, said, "I'm gonna go take a shower, 'kay?" and left.

I had never believed the saying "silence is golden" as fervently as I did then.

Crossing the room to the desk against the wall, I sat down and powered up the computer. After logging on, I was overjoyed to find that there was indeed Internet on the computers. Checking my email, I was even happier to see that one was from Amaya. Amaya had been one of my few real friends back home, and the hardest thing about coming to this school had been saying goodbye to her.

The email read:

"hey tem! how's the school? is it as nice as the 'brochure of doom' said? lol but srsly, it sux w/o you. every1 is so phony, u were the only real person here. miss u like crazy. write back or the teletubbies will get you in your sleep D

luv u like a sis.

amaya-chan"

After reading the email, I was hit by a tsunami-sized wave of homesickness. I really missed Amaya, and it was so bad I wanted to curl up in a corner and cry.

But that was something I couldn't afford to do. I reminded myself that I had to be tough, and I clicked the "reply" button.

"amaya! the school's HUGE. and it's rly pretty too. plants and shit everywhere. i met some girls, but they'll never be as good as u. i miss u 2. yeah, every1 down in suna sux ass, I kno, but ur a tuff cookie. u'll find a way, u always do. write back or u'll get hit by an ice cream truck.

luv u like a brother :P jk!

temari-chan"

I shut down the computer and laid back on the bed. I was getting kind of bored, and Ino wasn't back yet, so I decided to visit my little brothers and see how they were doing.

As I left the girls dorm, I reflected back on my day. God, what a day! First the train, then the Chauvinist Pig, then Ino and Hinata and TenTen...and Sasuke. I wondered if he really was emo and gay and everything. I stopped myself, shaking my head as if to get rid of the thoughts. I refused to be a gossipmonger. If I wanted to know about Sasuke, I wouldn't get it from hearsay.

But I _really_ wanted to know. I wanted to know why all the girls were falling over themselves because of him. I mean, he was cute...okay, he was hot. But he seemed antisocial. And I didn't think he was really emo; he was too scene to be authentic. I had known some real emos in my day, and he wasn't it. And it was definitely possible that he was gay. The way he stood...it made my gaydar go mad. And if he wasn't gay, there were definitely enough girls for him to screw a different one every night. So why didn't he?

When I got to the boys' dorm, my mind was still teeming with questions. I went to the third floor and walked down the hall, looking on both sides for Kankurou's room number. I was most worried about him. Gaara could take care of himself.

As I looked on the left side of the hallway, I saw (speak of the devil) Sasuke coming out of a room ahead. He didn't see me as he went down the intersecting hallway. I made sure he was gone, then ran lightly up to his door. Peeking in, I saw...a normal room. How anticlimactic. But then I thought about the fact that I couldn't see the whole room from the doorway. And that Sasuke probably wouldn't be back for a while. And that he'd never find out if I just riffled through his things a bit.

Smothering my last bit of conscience, I slipped into his room.

Looking around inside, I saw that it was, in fact, just a normal room after all. I sighed in disappointment and turned to leave when I saw that his computer was on. And on the moniter was his MeSpace page.

I shrugged and walked over to it. It was as good a place as any to get information on someone, right? Quickly looking over my shoulder, I sat down at the computer and scrolled down his page. Friends, posts, ads...pictures. I clicked the link and found around 200 pictures of Sasuke in various emo-looking poses. Some with eyeliner, some with faux blood. He tried way too hard. _Real_ emos didn't have to try that hard. It just happened.

As for his comments...whoa. Most of them were from guys who wanted to "mirl" (meet in real life). And a lot of them said things that were definitely not rated PG. And...Sasuke had responded in the _affirmative_.

So Sasuke was the wannabe-emo gay who liked to cyber with other emo gays. Wow. Wonder what all those girls would think. Poor things, they had no idea that Sasuke would never return their advances, unless they grew a penis and dyed their hair midnight black. For some reason I found all of this unbearably funny, and I laughed out loud even though I was supposed to be sneaking.

I was still laughing when I heard a voice from the doorway say, "You aren't the maid." I turned around so fast that I almost got whiplash. Standing at the door was a tall guy, taller than me, with a spiky black ponytail. He was holding a bag of chips and looking at me with an unreadable expression.

My body froze, but my brain was working overtime. How would I get out of this one?

There were two approaches I could take. One, I could use hostility to get myself out. Or two, I could try to distract him so he wouldn't even think about the fact that I was here when I wasn't supposed to be. But the only really good way I could think of to distract him was my boobs. And there was no way in hell that I was going to actually going to try and seduce someone. I'd had enough guy trouble that morning. So, with the whole "boobs" thing out of the question, that left hostility.

That, I could do.

I strode up to the guy and got in his face (or as close as I could get to his face, he was pretty tall). Scowling in my most persuasive way, I growled, "I'm the sub," and pushed past him out of the door.

As I stalked down the hallway towards the elevator, I looked over my shoulder once. He was standing in the door, watching me leave. As soon as I got out of the elevator, I ran and I didn't stop until I got back to the girls' dorm.

And then I realized that I never did check on Kankurou. Shit.

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**A/N: WOOOT! They finally meet! Not in the best circumstances, of course...but then, life isn't perfect. Okay, for all you Sasuke lovers out there, please don't kill me for making him the emo gay. I love him too, but I was listening to the Emo Kid song while writing this and I couldn't help myself. And besides that, all day at school people were talking about how emos are all suicidal and my friend and I got kinda pissed about it. Scene kids have totally screwed up the concept of emo. Anyway, enough about me. Review, please! Your nice words keep me alive. Love you all bunches!**

**Oh, p.s: If anyone has story suggestions, I think I could fit them in. So just lemme know if you've got something brilliant that I just HAVE to use. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm back with a fourth chapter! Wow. I never would've thought I'd get this far. It's mostly due to all of you sexy, sexy people who sent me nice messages. Now I understand why writers say that reviews keep them alive, because seriously, they do. When I saw people reviewing I almost cried, I was so happy. So keep 'em coming!**

**This chapter is a _beast._ It's bigger than my other ones put together, including the last one. In this one, more awkwardness, some food, and...Temari in Home Ec? Holy crap! It's in Shikamaru's pov this time. I think by now you guys can tell who's pov it is, though. Can you? Good.**

**Disclaimer: Everything I live for (i.e, Naruto) belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. **

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After searching everywhere (well, not everywhere; I don't do long searches), I finally found Chouji in the dining hall, poking coins into a vending machine. _Duh, _I thought to myself. _Where else would he be?_

"Hi, Shikamaru," he greeted me with a smile. "Um...would you happen to have a quarter?"

I sighed and dug up a quarter from my pocket, handing it to him. He beamed at me before pushing it into the coin slot and pressing a button. We stood in silence until something banged down into the retrieval slot. Chouji reached in and grabbed his chips. I looked at him.

"Chouji, why are you eating low-fat chips today? They're gross."

"Well...Ino said I shouldn't eat fatty foods," he said sheepishly.

"Don't listen to Ino," I said, snatching the chips away and dumping them in a nearby trash can. Chouji looked horrified. "You can eat as much fat as you want, Chouji. As a matter of fact, I'll join you." I reached in my back pocket, pulling out two dollar bills and feeding them into the machine. I pressed the button for the fattiest chips available and when two bags fell into the bottom, I handed him one and opened one for myself. Chouji gave me a thankful smile, and we headed outside to eat our snack.

As we stood outside, Chouji pulled out his schedule.

"Shika," he said, "what classes do you have? Since, you know, we're not roommates this year. Who _is _your roommate, anyway?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sasuke."

He gasped. He knew how I felt about Sasuke. "How did it go?"

"You don't want to know."

Chouji peered at my face for a few more seconds, trying to figure out if he needed to probe or not, before shrugging and saying, "Okay." Chouji was a good friend: the kind who knew when to talk and when not to. We stood there munching until Chouji finished (it took around thirty seconds) and said, "I'm going to go to my room. I don't even know who my roommate is yet; when I got here I dropped off my stuff and headed for the kitchens." He balled up his bag and threw it away. "I'll see you later, Shikamaru."

Chouji walked away, and by the time I remembered that I never told him my classes, he was too far for shouting. Even though I didn't do shouting. I sighed and decided I would go see Ino, who would somehow get my schedule to him using her magical female powers of communication. Ino was the wrong type of friend: she _never_ shut up. _Oh well, _I thought, _it comes in handy for things like this._

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When I got to Ino's room, there was no one there. I briefly wondered who her roommate was, but decided it was too troublesome to try and figure it out and left, walking over to the boys' dorm.

As I headed down the hallway to my room, I noticed that there was light coming from my door. I figured it was just the maid, picking up dirty laundry and the such. It couldn't be Sasuke; he was probably avoiding any place that I might be. I didn't mind, because I was doing the same for him.

Stepping into the doorway, I was caught unawares when I saw someone sitting at the computer, laughing. I couldn't see their face, their back was to me, and all I saw were four spiky blond ponytails. In my surprise, I said the first stupid thing that came to mind:

"You're not the maid."

The person turned around and I discovered that it was a girl. She stared at me with these big teal eyes, and I could almost hear the wheels turning in her head. After a moment it seemed like she decided something, because her eyes narrowed menacingly as she stood up and walked toward me. She looked up at me (she wasn't near as tall as me), said, "I'm the sub," in a voice that would make little kids cry for their mothers, and left the room. I watched her go. She looked back once, saw me looking back, and got into the elevator.

In a daze, I went over to the computer. On the screen were comments from Sasuke's MeSpace page. I looked over them. After reading what people wrote, I understood why the strange girl had been laughing. As it turned out, Sasuke really _was_ what all the guys said he was. I wondered what all those girls who liked him would do if they found out. Silly females; they couldn't see what was right in front of them.

I laid down on my bed. I was tired, but my stupid brain wouldn't shut up. It kept asking questions like, "Who the hell was _that_?" and "What was she doing here?" even though I told myself it was probably best that I didn't know. Eventually I lost the battle with my mind and started trying to think of answers. There were a few things I knew had to be true:

A: she went to this school,

B: she was somehow acquainted with Sasuke, and

C: she sure knew how to get out of a fix. By scaring people.

After wracking my brain for more information, I realized that Ino could probably tell me her name, age, zodiac sign, favorite color, and what kind of underwear she wore. Not that I wanted to know, of course. Well, at least that was what I told myself.

I glanced over at my alarm clock. It read 7:36 pm. Well, school was starting tomorrow, and I needed my rest. I got up from my bed with a grunt and set my alarm to wake me up at 7:00 in the morning. _Eleven hours of sleep should be enough to get me through the day, _I thought, slipping off my clothes. I threw on a pair of pajama pants and fell into bed, suddenly exhausted. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

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I was jolted awake when my alarm clock started beeping like the world was ending. Rubbing my eyes, I got up and blindly felt my way towards the evil destroyer of sleep, punching the snooze button. I was just about to go back to sleep when I realized that I probably shouldn't sleep late on the first day, and turned off the alarm completely.

Making my way towards the light switch, I flipped it on, grimacing at the piercing light. Looking over at Sasuke's bed, I saw that he was already gone. _Thank god for that_, I thought in relief. I picked up a clean towel and headed for the communal dorm bathroom.

I peeked inside the door to the showers. Shower stalls lined the walls, and I could hear water running in a number of them. I walked down the aisle in the middle, looking for a vacant shower. I found one and stepped inside. There was a shelf to the side where you could put your towel and stuff. I set my clothes down and stripped off my pajamas, throwing them in the corner. When I got to my boxers, I hesitated, looking around. I realized this was silly and took those off too, but I still felt horribly self-conscious.

_Why do I always do that?_ I asked myself as I turned on the shower. I stepped into the stream too soon and gasped at the coldness. I waited for the hot water to kick in, and then got back under the shower. As I felt my muscles relax, I answered myself: _Because it creeps you out that you're in the shower just feet away from other guys in the shower._

And I was right. Maybe the other guys didn't feel it, but I always thought it was kind of...weird. I didn't relish the thought of the possibility of anyone just coming up and opening the shower with me in it. It didn't have a lock on the door or anything.

Pushing back my weirded-out-ness (I said it, so it's a real word), I washed off, and then just stood in the stream of warm water for a while. It felt really good, almost as good as a nice warm bed. Finally I turned the knob and the water cut off. I dried off and got dressed, being careful not to wet my clothes.

After I brushed my teeth and my hair, I grabbed my bookbag and headed for the dining hall.

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Inside the dining hall, loads of kids waited in line for breakfast. I was never really hungry in the mornings, and the only reason I ate breakfast at home was because my mother (the killer of dreams, like the alarm clock) woke me up before lunch.

I filled up a tray with cereal, a banana, and a carton of orange juice before looking around the cafeteria for a place to sit. I was walking towards an empty table when a voice to my right said, "Shikamaru! Over here!" I looked over and saw Ino waving at me, pointing at an empty seat next to her. I walked over and sat down at the table, which was occupied by one of Ino's many social circles. Ino turned and beamed at me, and began introducing me to the girls at the table. I nodded at them to acknowledge that I knew them, but their names went in one ear and out the other. I didn't bother retaining unnecessary information.

"Ino, why do you want me to sit over here?" I asked her. "This seems like a girls-only table."

She looked hurt. "Shika, you're one of my best friends," she said mournfully. "I would always want you to sit with me. Besides," she said, suddenly happy again, "I want you to meet someone."

I felt my stomach twist anxiously. Whenever Ino said those words, I knew something bad was going to happen. She said I was overexaggerating, but it always turned out to be true.

I picked at my cereal until Ino said, "Hey, here she comes now!" Ino stood, waving at someone I couldn't see. Apparently whoever it was saw Ino and was coming over, because she said, "Shikamaru, I want you to meet my roommate."

Finally the person got close enough for me to see their face. We stared at each other in absolute shock.

It was the girl who was in my room last night.

"Shikamaru, meet Temari."

I looked numbly at her. My brain tried to deny it, but there was no doubt. Those four pigtails couldn't belong to anyone else. She stared right back at me, looking just as shocked as I did. Her hands tightened around the edges of her tray until her knuckles turned white, and then our gaze broke as she looked at Ino and said, "So, this is him?" in a low voice. If you weren't listening closely you wouldn't have even noticed the slight tremor in her voice.

Ino nodded, saying brightly, "Yeah, he's one of my best friends! I think you guys will get along really well." She obviously hadn't even noticed the long awkward silence that had occured just a moment before. Ino motioned Temari to sit down on the other side of her, opposite from me. She lowered herself to the chair, not looking at me. I noticed that I was still standing, and I sat down.

Ino began her chatter, telling Temari about how she and I had been friends our whole lives and that she still had baby pictures that she would show her if she wanted. I played in my now-soggy cereal, my mind racing. I hadn't even had the chance to ask Ino about the girl, and here she turns out to be her roommate! Cruel, cruel fate. Now there was no way I could pretend nothing happened. Ino would force us to spend time together, because we were both friends with her and she liked to have mutual friends. I would have to bring up the subject of Temari's being in my room that night eventually, unless she brought it up first. Which I highly doubted, because she seemed just as uncomfortable as I did.

"So, Temari, tell Shikamaru about how you're from Suna and all. Maybe he met your brothers already!" Ino said, interrupting my thoughts. Temari raised her eyes from her untouched breakfast and slowly looked at me.

"I came here from Suna just last week. My brothers are here too," she said in a carefully controlled voice. The way her eyes were boring holes through my skull suggested that I'd better not bring up last night if I valued my life. Since I didn't want to get into a fight with a woman, I mumbled something incoherent and kept picking at the mush that was once cornflakes.

Ino seemed to feel the heavy atmosphere between Temari and I, because she studied our faces as she said, "Have you two met before?"

I saw Temari's head jerk up and I felt my eye twitch. We both stared at Ino in astonishment. There was no way in hell that Ino could know what happened so soon. Unless...

We glared at each other suspiciously. It was like there was some unspoken agreement between us, that whatever happened didn't happen. And it appeared that someone had broken that contract. I knew it wasn't me. So the Temari-girl had to have told her.

"No. Never met," she told Ino, still looking at me.

"Until yesterday," I added under my breath. No one was supposed to have heard it, but obviously I wasn't as sly as I thought I was, because Ino turned to face me.

"What was that, Shikamaru?" she asked. Temari shot me look that said something along the lines of _Tell her and you die_, so I replied, "Nothing. We've never met before."

Temari looked back down at her food as if deciding something, then stood up with her tray. "Ino, I'm not hungry. I'm going to go ahead to the gym."

"Okay, Temari! Meet you there!" Ino called as Temari walked away.

She looked back at me. "Shikamaru, you guys are going to be such good friends!" Ino gushed. I slid down in my seat. I could tell this year was not going to be an easy one.

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As it turned out, my luck wasn't improving any time soon. I had the same gym class as Ino and the Evil Suna Woman. Ino was going to find out that Temari and I weren't exactly friends eventually. It was just a matter of time.

I walked into class expecting to die.

"Hello, class!" a voice boomed behind me. I whipped around to see Gai-sensei standing in the front of the gym. Everyone stopped talking when they saw that class was starting.

"Aren't you all lucky that you have gym as your first class? You can start off the school year healthy and strong!" I groaned. _Why_ did I have to have Gai for gym? Why couldn't I have had another teacher?

By this time I was firmly convinced that the forces of the universe were all united against me.

I kind of tuned out on the rest of Gai's first-day speech because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. I came back in when he was saying, "Now, time to dress out!" Everyone kind of stampeded for the locker rooms.

I went in and changed in a sort of defeated state of mind. No matter what I did, I would never win. Somehow fate would find a way to pull me down wherever I went. And if I tried to get up, it would just kick me back down. Fate didn't play fair.

I was still feeling listless when we got back out into the gym, but I snapped out of it when a soccer ball hit me on the head.

Oh, god. Soccer.

"Wake up, Shikamaru!" yelled Gai-sensei. "Get your head in the game! Get up and go!"

"Okay, okay, I get it already," I mumbled, grabbing the ball and walking to one side of the gym, where all the other students were.

"Alright, who wants to be captain?" Gai asked. A group of eager hands went up, some kids saying, "Ooh, me, me! Pick me!"

Gai pointed at someone. "Kiba, you're our first captain!" There was a chorus of disappointed awww's. The hands dropped. Gai laughed, "What? Did you forget there are two captains?" The hand popped back up. Gai searched the class, finally saying, "Hey, you there! I haven't seen you before. What's your name?"

Whoever he had singled out said something I couldn't hear.

"Well then, Temari," Gai said, "you are our second captain!" I slapped my hand to my forehead. What did I expect?

"Wait," she said. "I didn't want to be a captain."

"Well, I made you one," Gai responded quickly. "Now get out there and captain like no one has before!" Temari reluctantly trotted out to the middle of the gym to stand next to Kiba.

"Time to pick teams!" our over-excited gym teacher shouted. There was a collective groan from the class as we lined up next to each other. Kiba had first pick.

"Naruto!" he said confidently, pointing at the yellow-haired spazz.

Temari hesitated before pointing to her roommate. "Ino," she said. I was willing to bet she picked Ino because she could tell her who had the best skills.

"Shino," Kiba said.

"Rock Lee." Good choice, in my opinion. Gai would never call him out.

"Sakura." That might make it difficult. Sakura was pretty strong for a girl.

"Chouji." Ino probably told her he would make a good goalie.

The picking went on until I was the only one left. I didn't mind being picked last; sometimes it meant I got to sit out and relax while everyone else got all sweaty and tired.

Problem was, Temari's team was still one short. And I was still left out.

I could see Temari struggling with the decision: refuse to pick me and possibly get in trouble, or pick me and deal with the awkwardness of having to get along with me. Finally she sighed and said, "Shikamaru." I slouched over to where her team was discussing their game plan.

Somehow, without knowing most of the people on her team for five minutes, Temari had taken charge. Maybe it was that weird female communication thing again.

"Now, Chouji, you be goalie," she ordered. "You three take defense. You stay close to the goal, okay? Lee, I want you on offense with me. You two on offense too. Oh, and Shikamaru," she said casually, "try not to get in the way." I stared after her as she sauntered over to the center of the gym, where Gai and Kiba already were.

"C'mon, Shika, get in position!" Ino called from behind me. I stood on the right of the goal, since I was playing defense. I'd rather have not played at all, but again, any luck that I might have had was quickly deteriorating.

"Ready!" Gai was standing between Temari and Kiba, holding the soccer ball. He made sure everyone was paying attention, then threw it up.

And pandemonium was let loose.

Kiba got the ball and headed towards our goal, but Temari quickly stole it and maneuvered to the opposite side. For some reason everyone who was supposed to be on defense went on offense right then, and suddenly there was this...this _mob_ of people around Temari trying to either take the ball from her or get her to pass it to them, dependifng whose team they were on. Me, I just stood to the side, letting them battle it out.

After a couple of people fell, Temari had a clear shot to a teammate. She kicked and the ball went straight for the guy, but as it turned out, he was afraid of the ball and ducked. The ball landed at Shino's feet, and he kicked it towards Sakura, who was in front of me near the goal. She dribbled towards the goal and shot it, and it would've gone straight in had Chouji (gotta love the big guy) not bounced it off his stomach. The ball went flying back out to Ino, who dribbled it and ran over to Temari, passing it to her. Temari took the ball and went for the other team's goal. She faked out the goalie and kicked the ball straight in. Our team went wild, except for me, of course.

The next goal wasn't so easy, though. Kiba had grabbed a hold of the ball and was coming quick for our goal. This time I was placed right in front of and to the left of Chouji. Kiba ended up coming right in front of me so that he had to go through me to get to the goal.

"Block him, Shikamaru!" my teammates yelled at me. I decided it wouldn't hurt to try and got up close to Kiba, blocking him wherever he turned. In a moment I had kicked the ball away from him. But I never was good at aiming. It ended up going to TenTen, who wasn't on my team. She bounced it on her knee and dribbled toward the goal, dodging everyone else on defense. TenTen was coming straight for me, and everyone was yelling at me to keep her from getting any closer to the goal. I stepped forward and tried to kick the ball away from her, but she faked me out and went around me, kicking the ball in our goal. Kiba's team cheered, and my team drooped like flowers in a drought.

Temari strode angrily up to me. "What was that?" she demanded, getting in my face. "You should've blocked her!"

"I tried. She's fast," I shrugged nonchalantly. Temari's eyes smoldered.

"She was right there!" she yelled. "You could've blocked it, but you just chose not to." Temari poked me in the chest. Hard. "Next time, you better block the damn ball, or I won't be happy. And if I'm not happy, then no one's happy. Including you." She gave my chest one last stab with her finger, then turned on her heel and walked away to talk to other teammates. I sighed. She didn't realize that she had already pretty much ruined my life, there wasn't much else she could do to me.

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Okay, I was wrong. There was much more she could do to me.

Like turn out to be in my Home Ec class, too.

I hated Home Ec. Why did I have to learn how to sew and cook and iron and crap like that? I didn't come to school to learn how to do women's jobs.

And as luck would have it (because luck pretty much hated my guts right about then), I ended up having the Spiky Blonde Bitch in my group. She was still shooting evil looks at me when we left Gym, even though we won. Mostly because she scored a buttload of goals.

Anyway, on that day we were learning how to make quiche. Pronounced "keesh," as Shizune-sensei insisted. We were using a ready-made crust, but we still had to beat the eggs, grate the cheese, and slice and fry the bacon. Each person in the group would have a different job. I ended up being the one to beat the eggs. Temari was to grate the cheese, and Neji had to do the bacon.

"Shizune-sensei, this is pork bacon, right?" he asked her.

"Oh, no, of course not!" Shizune exclaimed. "I never eat pork." She had a strange love for pigs. Rumor had it that she even had one as a pet.

Anyway, once we got our ingredients, we began. My job wasn't that hard; I just had to break some eggs into a bowl and mix them. Neji had skills, because he chopped and fried that bacon faster than I had ever seen anyone do it. But Temari seemed to be having a hard time. Everytime she tried to slide the block of cheese down the grater, she ended up swiping her fingers instead. She was only halfway down the block of cheddar when Neji and I had finished.

We watched her struggle for a while, and then Neji went up to her. "Would you like me to help you?" he offered.

"No!" Temari said forcefully. "I don't need any help. I can do it myself." Neji sensed her frustration and backed off. By the time she finished, she was so frazzled that that she was sweating and one of the rubber bands holding her hair had snapped. When Shizune-sensei came over to check on our group, Temari asked for some band-aids.

"Why would you need..." Shizune began, stopping when Temari held up her shredded fingers. "Um, you might need more than a band-aid," she said, hurrying away to get a first-aid kit. While she waited, Temari looked angrily down at her hands. I thought it was funny that Temari could kill at soccer, but couldn't grate a block of cheese. I snickered, and she glared at me.

"Is this funny to you?" she asked in a pissed voice.

"Actually, it is."

I think she was too tired to come after me, but if she hadn't been, I probably would have been roadkill. As it were, she shot me one last death glare and looked over to where Shizune was coming back with a first-aid kit and a worried face.

"Now, Temari," she said, opening the kit on the counter, "how in the world did you do that to your hands?" Shizune started wiping Temari's fingers with a strong-smelling disinfectant. I knew it had to burn, but the girl refused to show emotion through the whole thing.

"I never grated cheese before," she murmured. Shizune looked at her, then went back to applying some creamy substance to Temari's fingertips.

"Still, it shouldn't be that difficult..." she trailed off, finally putting band-aids on Temari's fingers. Shizune stood up. "Try to be careful next time, okay?" she asked. "I don't want anything else to happen to you." Shizune walked off to someone else's group.

During the whole ordeal, Neji had been the over-achiever he truly was: he had already mixed everything together and popped the quiche in the oven. All we had to do was wait.

And wait we did. For thirty whole minutes. I was okay with it, because I got to just chill out, but Temari obviously wasn't used to long waits. She leaned against the counter, tapping her foot at high speed. Then she paced around our small cooking space. Then she went up to the oven and peered in, trying to see if the quiche was done. Then she went back to the counter and kept tap-tap-tapping that foot. The cycle continued until the oven dinged and she rushed over. She grabbed some oven mitts and carefully took it out of the oven.

"It's done," she said, sounding relieved. Neji and I went over to where she was putting it on the cooling rack. Temari grabbed a knife to cut it into pieces, but Neji stopped her.

"Temari-san, maybe I should it," he said gravely. She reluctantly handed it over, and Neji expertly sliced the quiche into eight pieces. He placed a piece on a plate for each of us, and as we dug in, I was surprised to find that it actually tasted good. Probably because Neji had done most of it, but still.

I looked over at the other two to see what they thought of it. Neji simply nodded his head in approval.

And Temari smiled. I almost fell over. I didn't think she knew how. I did a double-take. Yep, her eyebrows weren't scrunched down, her eyes weren't shooting daggers at anyone, and the corners of her mouth were turned up.

And for some reason, seeing her smile made me smile. _Yeah, because if she's smiling, it means she isn't trying to kill you_, my mind rationalized. Yeah, that was probably it.

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**A/N: Just so you guys know, I don't remember how to play soccer, so it may be inaccurate. I also don't know how long you _really_ cook a quiche; all I know is the basic ingredients. So don't hate me if I'm wrong.**

**Please, please, please, PLEASE don't forget to review. I will beg on my hands and knees if I must. Well...maybe not. But you get the picture. And again, if anyone has an idea for the story that they would like to put in, lemme know. Well, that's all for now. Keep reading, you gorgeous things! Love you!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Is it a bird? A plane? No, it's the fifth chapter! Dude. I can't believe I got this frickin far. And I love you all, I really, truly do. From the bottom of my heart. You all have given me such positive feedback, and it keeps me going. **

**This chapter...is odd. Um, yeah. I don't wanna give anything away before you read it, so I shall explain stuff at the bottom. See ya there!**

**Disclaimer: Everything awesome belongs to Kishimoto, yadda yadda yadda.**

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A week after Ino introduced me to that guy Shikamaru (I can't believe I remembered his name), she came bouncing into our room.

"Temari!" she shouted excitedly. It had been annoying at first, but I was getting used to hearing my name yelled all the time.

"What?" I asked, looking at her from the desk, where I was finishing up my history homework.

"A group of us are going to the pool. Will you come?" Ino looked at me with giant blue puppy-dog eyes and a winning smile. I looked back at her with a raised eyebrow.

"How do you get your eyes so big and shiny?" I inquired.

"Aw, c'mon, Temari! Pleeeeease?" Her bottom lip stuck out.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, then said, "Okay, okay. If you looked any more like a sad puppy I'd get you a collar and call you Fido." Ino immediately went back to her normal perky self. I swear, that girl had mood swings down to an art.

I went over to the chest of drawers and pulled out my swimsuit. I was never one for bikinis, they showed way too much skin. The only reason I even wore a swimsuit instead of a shirt and shorts was because it let me swim faster. My swimsuit was a simple black one-piece with a tie behind the neck. When I laid it on my bed, Ino looked at me like I had lost my mind completely.

"Temari," she said slowly, "what is _that_?"

"My swimsuit, which I'm wearing," I replied, starting to take off my clothes.

"Oh no you're not," Ino said decisively. She ran over to the closet and madly searched through it, finally pulling out a hanger with a swim suit on it. She brought it over to me and slapped it down on top of mine. I looked at it. It was a shimmery silver string bikini. I pushed it away.

"I'm not wearing that," I said.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not," I argued. "Besides, if I wear that, what will you wear?"

Ino laughed and went over to the closet again. She came back with her arms full of swimsuits of all colors and styles. "I've got plenty," she said. "Now, if you don't want to wear that one, how about...this one?" She picked another out of the pile. I held it up. This one was a bright orange tube top with a thong bottom. I wrinkled my nose and shook my head no.

Ino kept picking out swimsuits, and I kept turning them down until she apparently got sick of my pickiness and said, "Temari, you simply can _not _wear something that plain to the pool."

"And why not?"

"Because, it's...it's...just because! You'll be a laughing stock. Now, just wear one of the bathing suits I picked out for you. I know! This one." She picked up one of the only bathing suits left that I hadn't thrown across the room yet and handed it to me. I looked at it. This one was a lime green bikini with a matching sarong. I looked at Ino, who was waiting for my reply. I looked back at the bikini. Well, at least I had some flip-flops that would match with it. I sighed defeatedly and said, "Alright. I'll wear this one. But...isn't it too small?"

Ino rolled her eyes. "Stop arguing and put it on," she said. "I want to see how it looks on you." I sighed and started to pull off my clothes.

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Fifteen minutes and some arguments later, Ino and I walked into the pool gate. I was stuffed into the green bikini, which had turned out to be around three sizes too small. Ino said it was supposed to fit that way. Obviously, she didn't understand that she and I were _not_ the same size. Ino was stick-thin. I, on the other hand, was older and more...womanly, for lack of a better term.

Unfortunately, my "womanly"-ness didn't escape the attention of the guys hanging aroung the pool. When Ino and I walked in the gate, of course people turned to see who it was, but most of the guys did a double-take when they saw me, including the lifeguard. As Ino and I headed over to a couple of vacant pool chairs, I could hear the whispers.

"Whoa, is that the new girl?"

"Must be. No one here has jugs _that_ big!"

"Is she hanging out with Ino now?"

"Wow, she's as hot as Ino is. I wonder if they would give me a threesome?"

It took a lot of effort not to backhand the guy who said that last one, but somehow I just kept walking. We dropped our stuff on the ground next to two lounge chairs and sat down. Ino pulled out a bottle of sunscreen and squirted some on her hand, then passed it to me. As I rubbed it into my skin, I looked around. Most of the guys--okay, _all_ of the guys--were staring at me. Well, to be more accurate, they were staring at certain parts of me that the tiny swimsuit didn't manage to cover completely. Some of them had girlfriends, who glared at me with all the hatred they could muster.

I couldn't take the attention anymore, and I got up and walked to the pool as quickly as I could. Once I was underwater, no one would be able to see anything but my face. I stepped into the water, made a face at the initial chill, then slid all the way in.

Suddenly I heard yelling from behind me. I turned around and saw Kiba, Naruto, and a couple other guys coming into the pool area, being obnoxiously loud. I moaned wearily. It was just not my day.

The guys went over to where Ino was sitting. She grinned and they started talking. I was doing my best to hide in a dark corner of the pool when Ino spotted me (damn) and motioned me over.

"Temari!" she yelled. "Come over here! I want you to meet my friends." I felt like saying _Screw that, I've had enough of your friends_, but I just wasn't in the mood for a conflict that day, so I sighed again and waded over to the other side of the pool, where Ino and the guys were standing, waiting for me. I looked up at them from the pool, waiting for Ino to introduce us so I could go back to swimming.

But I wasn't going to have the privilege of hiding my body in the water. Ino laughed and said, "You silly, get out and come sit with me! They brought popsicles." I hesitated, considering my options. I could either stay in the pool until Ino got in and dragged me out, or I could get out and have to cope with a bunch of horny teenage guys ogling my chest, which I was afraid was going to pop out of the itty-bitty top soon.

I decided that I would have to get out either way and I might as well keep my dignity while I did, so I went over to the stairs and climbed out of the pool. I hurried over to the chair to get a towel to cover myself with, but no such luck. Ino had stepped in front of me and grabbed my arm. She hauled me over to where the guys where standing and staring at me, as I had predicted. I stood there dripping as Ino pointed to each of them and said their name.

"This is Kiba, who you've already met." Kiba smiled broadly and waved.

"Naruto. You saw him in gym, right?"

The blonde kid's eyes went wide as he grinned and said, "Wow, I haven't seen you before! Well, I mean, I saw you in gym class, but you had on clothes then!"

I frowned, and Ino smacked him upside the head. "You pervert," she said, "don't you think of anything else?" I rolled my eyes. It was Ino's fault in the first place for stuffing me into this thing. She moved on.

"Here's Shino. He doesn't talk much." My first thought was that the guy looked kind of creepy. He was fully clothed and his face was mostly covered by his jacket and a pair of dark reflective glasses. He nodded at me.

Ino went on until she had gone through all eight boys. The whole time, all of them (except Shino) were eyeing my boobs, along with all the other guys at the pool. By the time Ino was done I was prepared to bind my chest for the rest of my life.

I was just about to escape back to the water when Ino stopped me, saying, "You can't go back in yet, Temari. You have to eat popsicles with us!" She waved a brightly-colored box with ice pops pictured on the front. Reluctantly, I went back over to the group. Ino ripped open the box and all the boys started calling colors and struggling to get to the box first. Ino hid the box behind her back and said, "Temari gets first pick, since she's new this year _and_ she's my new best friend." I almost choked. Best friend? We had hardly known each other for a week!

Ino held the box out to me, and I stepped forward, fishing out an orange popsicle. After that, it was chaos again, and Ino just let the boys fight for the ice cream. When everyone had chosen one, we sat down on the long lounge chairs and started eating.

My popsicle was good. Really good. As soon as I took the first taste, I was hooked. I started licking the bottom to catch the melted drops, and then I noticed that people were staring at me. I frowned.

"What?" I asked, annoyed. Then I realized what I had been doing. And I realized that I was in the presence of a bunch of horny teenage guys, who were probably imagining something while I licked my popsicle. I wasn't used to being stared at for this long a period of time, and I could feel the hot flush rising up my cheeks. I pushed it away and glared back at them.

Ino, using that wonderful social intuition of hers, saw that I was extremely uncomfortable with all the attention and jumped up. "Hey, you guys," she said, "let's get in the pool now!" The guys half-heartedly tore their eyes away from me and stood up. Ino skipped over to the pool and jumped in. The guys followed her.

I was tired. Tired of the swimsuit digging into my skin, tired of the stares, and just plain tired. I decided that the pool could wait for now, and laid back on the lounge chair. I already had a tan (I _did_ live in the desert my whole life) but the sun felt good and reminded me of home, so I just relaxed.

I was nearly asleep when I heard whispering and muffled laughter. I opened my eyes halfway and found myself being hoisted up from my chair. I gasped and looked down, seeing Kiba and Naruto holding me and carrying me over to the pool. When I realized what they were doing, I started kicking and screaming, but they took no notice and flung me into the water. It was freezing after being in the warm sun, but that was good because I needed something to cool me down. I was _pissed_. I was so angry, all I could do was sink down, down to the bottom of the pool, where I sat. At that moment all I wanted to do was neuter every last one of them, but I knew that was something I just couldn't do, so I sat on the pool floor, counting to ten and trying to calm down. I stayed there for a while, waiting for all my air to run out. There was garbled speaking from above me, and I couldn't understand what they were saying, but out of nowhere someone crashed down into the water, almost on top of me. Whoever it was grabbed me and pulled me to the surface.

When we broke the surface, I tried to see who it was, but they were swimming to the edge of the pool and holding me in a way that I couldn't see them. When we got to the edge of the pool the person hoisted me over the side of the pool, onto the concrete. The person finally came up beside me and stood up. It turned out to be the lifeguard.

He held out his hand to help me up from the ground. I grabbed it and pulled myself up.

And when I stood up, I punched him in the face.

It was a good one, too; right in the jaw. People gasped and began chattering wildly. Ino rushed up to me and started yelling.

"Temari, what the hell?!" she cried. "He saved you!"

"I wasn't fucking drowning, Ino!" I yelled back. "Besides, why did you let them throw me in the pool in the first place? And _you_," I continued, stomping up to Kiba and Naruto, who were standing off to the side, "who the _hell_ do you think you are, huh?" I shoved both of them. "I was resting, and all of a sudden you _assholes _grab me and throw me in the water!" I was ready to go at them when Ino ran up and stood between me and them, holding her arms out defensively.

"Look, it was a joke!" she said. "They were just playing around."

"Ino, why are you defending them?" I said.

"Learn how to take a joke, Temari!" she replied. "I don't know what your life was like in Suna, but here, we kid around! We have fun! God, get used to it already!"

I looked around. Everyone was looking at me strangely. "Fine," I said quietly. I walked over to where my things were, picked them up, and headed for the gate. As I walked out, some dickhead had the nerve to whistle at me. I whipped around and hurled my nearly-full bottle of sunscreen at his head. It was a direct hit. Every last person went silent.

I left out of the gate, feeling everyone's eyes on the back of my head.

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When I got back to my room, I threw my bag on the floor, ripped off Ino's bikini, and grabbed a towel. I headed down to the communal shower and, finding an empty stall, turned up the water as hot as it could go.

Standing under the scalding stream of water, I savagely washed the chlorine out of my hair, almost pulling it out. I snatched a washcloth from the shelf and roughly washed, scrubbing hard enough to rub my skin raw. After I rinsed off, I wrapped my towel around myself and set out for my room.

Ino was there when I got back. She was sitting on her bed, still in her swimsuit, looking forlornly down at her hands. She didn't see me. I stood at the door, then walked in, closing it behind me.

"You're going to get sick if you don't dry off," I said gruffly. Her head jerked up as she looked at me. I started drying off.

"Temari-"

"Don't," I interrupted her. "The last thing I need is another person telling me I'm wrong." I glanced over at her and felt a twinge of guilt. She looked absolutely miserable.

I pulled on my pajamas and went to sit next to her. She looked at me with big, mournful eyes.

"All I wanted was for us to have fun," she said. "I guess you don't like the same things we do, huh?"

I sighed. "Ino, it's not you. It's just...I'm..." I sighed again. "I'm just a violent bitch who can't take a joke."

"Temari, you're not a bitch," she argued.

"Yeah, well, try telling that to the lifeguard. And the people at the pool. And everyone else, since I'm sure word's got around already." I laid back on her bed. "I might as well face the fact that I'm just not cut out for friends. I'm not a people person like you are, Ino."

She looked down at me. "Temari...can I ask you something?"

I sat up. "Yeah?"

"Well...what exactly happened in Suna?" I looked sharply at her and she immediately tried to fix it. "I mean, something had to make you...um...violent like you are. I just want to know what it was. Maybe I can help."

My chest hurt, and I laughed bitterly. "Ino, I doubt there's anything you can do to fix me. I'm fucked up like you wouldn't believe." She just looked expectantly at me, and I settled myself, preparing for a long story.

"You see," I began, "it all started with my dad..."

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Ino was hunched over, looking at her hands. "Is that it?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I replied. "That's the story of my life. Told you it was fucked up."

Ino looked up, and I realized she was about to cry. "Temari...I had no idea," she said, her voice trembling. I got worried.

"Um, Ino, it's not that big of a deal. Don't cry," I said, wondering what I was going to do if she did. I'd never had to comfort a crying person before.

Ino smiled sadly. "This is so twisted, you know?" she said, sniffing. "You just told me all this crap about your life and your brothers' lives, and _I'm_ the one getting misty."

"I realized that crying doesn't bring people back, that's all," I told her. "No point in blubbering when you've got things to do."

Suddenly Ino turned to me and said, "Oh my god. Temari, I know what's wrong with you." I looked at her like she was stark raving mad. "No, seriously," she said, seeing my face. "Here's my psychoanalysis. After the whole thing with your mom dying-" she looked carefully at my face to see if she had hit a nerve, but I didn't even blink "-you thought you had to be strong for everyone else, especially your brothers. So you started smothering every emotion, making sure no one knew how much you were hurting. You probably didn't even cry anymore, am I right?" I nodded. "So anyway, even though you thought you were hiding your pain, it came out in the form of your anger and hostility. Even now, when you think you're over your mom, you're not. It's just taking form as violence."

She sat back and looked happily satisfied at my stunned expression. I was amazed at how she hit it right on the head. I mean, I hadn't known all that. All I knew was that I was mostly pissy all the time.

I shook my head in awe and stared at her. "Ino," I asked, "how in the world do you know all of this?"

Ino grinned. "I watch talk shows." We looked at each other for a moment, then collapsed into giggles. We stopped when Ino fell off the bed.

"So, Dr. Ino," I joked, "got any advice for a bitter, angry chick like me?"

Ino laughed, then looked serious. "Temari, I think you need to learn how to feel emotion again."

"What?"

"I'm serious! Look, for once, you need to let yourself be happy. I don't know if it's that first-born-child behavior thing, but you've got this thing where you've always worried about taking care of others. Just...be happy. Carefree. Like me." She gave me the world's biggest smile.

I laughed. "I don't think you can get rid of what you call the 'first-born-child thingy' that easily, but...I'll try. Who knows, maybe you're right."

Ino smiled again, and then reached over and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm glad I could help a friend," she murmured into my shoulder.

I stiffened. I had never hugged much, and it always felt awkward to me. But after a moment, I relaxed and really, sincerely hugged her back.

"So am I, Ino," I said quietly. "So am I."

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Later on, once we had turned out the lights, I lay in bed thinking. Somehow, Ino had done something to me.

First of all, I didn't know _why_ I let her squeeze me into that stupid swimsuit. But if I thought about it _that_ way, it made that whole pool incident my fault, so I moved on.

Second, for some reason, I had just bared my soul to her. That was something I had never done. With anybody. _Ever. _So what possessed me to spill my guts to some girl I had just met?

Maybe it was just something about Ino that made her so easy to talk to. Maybe it was because she was a good listener. Maybe it was because she made you feel like your problem was so important, and maybe because she helped you think of a way to overcome it. Frankly, I had no idea _why_ I was so comfortable telling her all about my dysfunctional past, but I was.

A little voice in my head nagged me about telling someone how I felt. _Temari, have you lost your cotton-pickin' mind?! You're not supposed to be making friends, that's not what you do! You're a lean, mean, killing machine, and killing machines don't _hug_, they don't _giggle_, and they definitely don't feel guilty. About anything! So what you need to do is pull yourself back together, and--_

I turned off the voice in my head and closed my eyes. That voice could go screw itself, for all I cared. Right then, all I felt was a strange relief now that I had told someone here about me. The real me. Not the mask.

Before I drifted off, I wondered why I hadn't thought of it before.

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The next day, when Ino and I stepped into Home Ec, every pair of eyes in the room was on me. There had been intense whispering before we got there, but when we walked in it stopped almost immediately. I found an empty desk and sat down in silence. I had decided that morning that I was going to be happy and that nothing was going to get me mad. Nothing.

But I was finding it harder and harder to stay happy with almost the whole class eyeing me and whispering behind their hands. I sat with my back straight and my head held high, because I refused to look like I cared. Because I didn't.

Okay. I cared. But if I let them know that, they would just use it to their advantage. No. I had to act like nothing could touch me. Nothing could get to me.

Shizune walked into the class. "Good morning, class!" she said, giving us a smile. "Good morning, Shizune-sensei," we replied in unison. Shizune looked excited, which made me suspicious. What could be so exciting about school that made her beam like that?

She pulled out a stack of papers. "Alright," she said as she began passing them out. "We're starting a new unit today." I was seated near the middle of the room, so I got the paper right as she finished talking. Whenever a new row got papers, there were whispers and giggles.

I skimmed over it. Then I went back and read it again, not believing it was true. Then I read it a third time, because there was no _way_ we were doing this.

The fourth time I read it, I had to admit that it was real. The paper read:

OUR NEW UNIT: CHILD CARE!!!!!

In this unit, students will pair up into groups of two. Each pair will receive a life-like robotic baby. The students will need to care for their babies for a total of three days. They will need to do everything that a real baby requires, such as feeding, changing, burping, and soothing them when they cry. To pass, students must bring their babies back in perfect condition and health. Any couple who harms or neglects their baby will fail.

I blinked. No. _No_. This wasn't an assignment; it was torture. First of all, who wants a baby? It was madness. No teenager wants to take care of a snot-nosed brat for three whole days. It was like hell.

Second, who would want to pair up with me? After my performance at the pool the day before, everyone was probably either terrified or pissed at me. Or they thought I was a psycho. Either way, I would somehow end up with a baby and no partner. Which was impossible, if you thought about it.

Shizune came back to the front of the class and clapped her hands for attention. "Class, class," she said, "focus, now! We have to hurry and get our partners so you all can begin taking care of your babies." I groaned. I really, _really_ didn't want to do this.

"Shizune-sensei," called Sakura from the back of the room, "do we get to pick our own partners?" She sounded eager. I remembered what Ino had said, that Sakura was infatuated with Sasuke too.

"If I let you kids pick your own partners, it would be chaos in here," Shizune told her. "So I've picked the couples that I think will work well together." She pulled out a clipboard with some papers on it, and began reading off of it.

"Sakura, you're paired with Rock Lee." I heard her give a loud wail and begin sobbing. Lee, on the other hand, jumped on his desk and said, "I will care for this youthful baby with all my strength!" Shizune told him to get down, and continued reading from her list.

"Neji and TenTen." I could see TenTen's face from my seat, and she looked positively enraptured. Neji looked stoic, as usual.

"Hinata and Kiba." They looked at each other. Kiba grinned, and Hinata blushed scarlet and ducked her head.

Shizune continued calling out couples. I was wondering who I would get paired with. How would Shizune pick someone who went well with me when I was new here? I was prepared for disappointment.

What I wasn't prepared for was this: "Temari and Shikamaru."

I coughed, choking on saliva and blinking madly. "Come again?" I asked. Shizune smiled at me.

"Temari, you didn't hear me the first time? You're with Shikamaru. Are you all right?"

I was staring off into space with a stricken look on my face. This was it for me. I was now going to crawl off into a hole and die.

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The couples had to line up to get their babies from the teacher, who was standing at the front of the class with a giant box on her desk. Shikamaru and I were standing as far apart as possible. Shizune noticed and said, "Shikamaru, Temari, you two are a couple. You have to stand together."

We glared at each other. Shizune said, "Stand together, you two. You'd better fix whatever problem you have with each other, because you're going to be partners, and that's final." I think she was starting to get a little exasperated with us, and we could hear it in her voice, so we scooched a little closer together. Just a little, though.

When it was our turn to get our baby, Shizune pulled one out of the box, activated it, and handed it to me. "Congratulations, Temari, you're a mother!" I shuddered. I had hoped I would never hear those words, but look where I was now.

"Take good care of it," she warned as we walked away, "unless you want an F."

As soon as we were out of her sight I shoved the baby at Shikamaru. "Here," I said harshly. "I'm not taking care of this thing."

He frowned. "I'm a guy, in case you haven't noticed," he said. "I'm not taking care of a baby. That's your job."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that childcare is a woman's job. I'm not a woman, therefore I'm not keeping this baby." He gave it back to me.

"Um, we _are_ partners, as much as I hate to say it. You're going to have to take care of it sooner or later." I handed it back to him.

"Partners? Didn't seem like that was your opinion when you tried to force _me_ into doing all the work a moment ago." Shikamaru thrusted it back into my arms. "And like I said before, this is women's work, and I _do_ happen to have a penis."

"You are so sexist!"

"I am not."

"You are."

"I'm not."

The whole time we were arguing, we kept passing the baby like it was a hot potato. I got sick of his sexist attitude and threw the baby at him.

"You _are!_" When it landed on him, I guess the mechanism for crying got jolted or something because it started howling up a storm. It startled both of us and we stared at the baby, which Shikamaru was now holding. It kept going, like a siren, and Shikamaru tossed it to me.

"Fix it, Temari."

"What? You do it!" I threw it back.

"You broke it!" It came back to me.

"I didn't break it, I just...bumped it." I sighed, and held the baby closer to me. I did it awkwardly, because I had never been this close to a baby before. Well, one I actually had to take care of. I bounced the baby a little bit, like I had seen people do before.

And...it just got louder. People were starting to stare.

Shikamaru suddenly snatched the baby from me. "You're doing it wrong," he said, cradling the baby in his arms. He began rocking and whispering soothingly to it, with me looking on skeptically. Eventually its crying faded away, leaving me gaping at Shikamaru.

"How...?" I said, dumbfounded. He just handed the now-quiet baby back to me.

"Maybe you should learn how to take care of a baby." Shikamaru slouched away.

I thought about calling him back and interrogating him to see just how much he could do, but I decided not to and just stood there, holding the baby. I was just starting to get used to it, but it seemed like he was already experienced in looking after babies.

As I headed back to my room, the voice in my head started up talking.

_Shikamaru seems like he would make a good dad. Shizune was right about partnering you two._

I stopped in my tracks, shocked that this had come from _my_ head. I mean, yeah, he was good at kids and everything, but that didn't change anything about our hate-hate relationship. I shook my head and considered strangling the voice in my head. It never said anything I wanted to hear.

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**A/N: OMG so yeah. I kinda made Temari open up, because I was feeling kind of weird that day, and it manifested itself in this OMG WEIRD chapter. Don't hate me, please! Also, the idea for the baby thing came from the lovely mango spoons. If I did it a little inaccurately, its because I have never ever taken Home Ec. I didn't have it at my school, cuz I go to an arts school, yo. Again, DON'T HATE MEEEEE! I love you. Oh, and happy Valentine's day, everyone! (It's tomorrow.)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Okay, people. Sorry I haven't updated as quickly as I usually do, I'm actually doing homework this semester (gasp) because, as my mother says, "You're in 9th grade, pooh! You need to keep your grades up so you can get into a good college!" (Don't you dare laugh at my mom's nickname for me.)**

**Anywho, this chapter, Ino has an idea! Ooh, scary. What shall it be? Read on!**

**Disclaimer: I think we know the drill by now, don't we? Nothing I bleed for is mine! (Sorry...on another Evanescence kick.)**

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"Yeah, beyotch! You're dead! What now? What now? Bring it!" Kiba yelled triumphantly as he killed yet another innocent person.

Chouji looked over from the other side of the room he and Kiba shared. "Kiba, sometimes I worry about you. You shouldn't be so excited about killing people."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "They're not real, Chouji. It's just a video game, for crying out loud." He continued moving his thumbs over the controller at high speed, his eyes darting back and forth as he watched the characters on screen. "Die, bitch, die!"

Chouji sighed wearily and sat down next to me. As we watched Kiba splatter blood across the screen, he said, "You know, he's going to be a mass murderer or something someday."

"Chouji, don't worry so much. You're not his mother, thank goodness. He'll be fine. At least he's getting his anger out on things that don't exist," I told him.

"Since when are you the parenting expert, Shikamaru?" Chouji said. "Oh yeah, since Shizune paired you up with Temari for that child care thing."

"Don't remind me," I groaned. "We just got her yesterday, and already it's killing me."

"Her?" Chouji questioned. "You've given it a gender now? I think you like it more than you're letting on," he teased me.

"I do not," I argued. "It's just that I might as well call it something besides 'it'."

"Sure, Shikamaru. Sure." Chouji went back to watching Kiba explode people on his game.

After around half an hour of gory massacre I stood up. "I'm leaving."

"What?" Kiba said. "Why?"

"The people screaming as they die on your game are giving me a migraine," I said sardonically. "I'm going to my room. Hopefully Sasuke isn't there." I left, waving goodbye.

When I got to my room, I collapsed on my bed. It was only ten in the morning. No sane person was supposed to be awake now. _I_ wouldn't be awake except for the fact that Chouji had wanted someone to go eat breakfast with him, and I was the first person he thought of. I dozed off, dreaming of bacon and eggs.

I woke up when something that definitely wasn't bacon and eggs nudged me. I rolled over and mumbled, "I'm sleeping." I woke up when it shoved me off the bed, landing me on the floor.

"Not anymore you aren't, lazy ass," I heard a familiar voice say. _Oh no,_ I thought in dread. _Please don't let that be who I think it is._

I opened my eyes and stood, rubbing my hip where I fell. I got a good look at the person. "Wonderful," I grumbled.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Temari demanded, putting her free hand on her hip. In her other arm was the baby.

"Nothing. What do you want? I was asleep."

"Yeah, I could see that. Seems like you're always asleep."

"Is that a problem?" I asked mockingly. I didn't really care whether she thought it was a problem or not. Of course, she took it literally and told me anyway.

"Yes, it _is_ a problem, because I took care of this thing for one day, and now it's your turn. You've got it today," she said, holding the baby out to me.

I sighed and took it. "Her."

"What?"

"Her," I repeated. "Not 'it'." Temari looked at me as if I was a talking, three-legged Easter egg.

"Her?" she said. Then something clicked in that evil head of hers, and she smirked."Oh, no. I can't believe this," she said, her smile growing bigger with every word.

"What?" I asked, starting to feel concerned.

"You got _attached_ to it! Oh, this is too much!" she said, cracking up with laughter. I scowled at her.

"I didn't get attached. I just thought that we shouldn't call her an 'it' if we have to act like it's really our baby." Temari looked at me, and I realized what I said. "I mean, the baby we were paired up to take care of." Ugh. I couldn't believe I actually said 'our baby.' I couldn't imagine having a baby with the malicious Suna-woman-thing.

She decided to ignore my slip-up and kept laughing. "Next," she said, gasping for breath and wiping her eyes, "you're going to say we should name it!" She howled with laughter.

"Well..." I began. Temari instantly stood up and slapped her hand over my mouth.

"No," she said. "Don't even think about it. Get this through that head of yours: this is _not_ a real baby. This is an evil robot clone...thing...of a baby. We only have it for three days, and it sure isn't 'ours', as you said it." When she said 'ours', she did quotation marks with the hand that wasn't on my mouth. "It isn't real, it isn't ours, and there's no need to name it or even give it a gender. It can just stay 'it', for all I care, because I'm not plannning on ever having kids, so I don't need to try and prepare for being a parent with this sad imitation of one." She pulled her hand away from my mouth, wiping it on her skirt. As she went over and placed the baby on my bed, a thought came unbidden into my mind: _You know, Temari has really soft hands for a psycho-murderer-type chick. _I shook my head, trying to get rid of it. _Shut up!_ I told my brain, gripping my head and squinting my eyes shut.

I opened them to find Temari staring at me with an apprehensive look on her face. "Um, are you okay?" she said.

"What? Yeah. Fine," I replied, disconcerted by my random thoughts.

"Well, if you're not going crazy or something, then I'm leaving her with you," Temari said, moving towards the door. "Don't kill her, because if I get a bad grade, you die." She left.

I frowned, frustrated at her insensitivity to my tiredness and my loss of sleep. I turned on the baby, who was propped up at the head of my bed. I rolled my eyes, sighed, and crawled back into bed, putting the baby on the floor next to it.

Before I fell asleep again, I realized that Temari had said 'her'. Not 'it.' Maybe there was hope for her yet.

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I woke up at around two in the afternoon, feeling much better. _A good four-hour nap fixes everything_, I thought contentedly. Getting up and stretching, I wondered what I was going to do now. Weekends gave you plenty of time to waste. Finally I decided to go see Ino. She had said something about wanting to talk to me about something. I didn't really remember what; after a while, everything Ino said just kind of blended together.

I was halfway to the girls' dorm when I realized I had forgotten the baby. I rushed back to my room, darting up the stairs and grabbing her. I panted for air. I couldn't remember the last time I ran so fast. Frankly, I didn't know I _could_ run that fast. I held the baby to my chest and trudged back down to the girls' dorm. As I walked, I noticed that I was holding the baby like it was real.

I couldn't help it. She _was_ pretty authentic-looking and feeling. But what Temari had said was true: it was just a fake. And we only had it for three days. But for some reason, I really, really wanted to give her a name.

I scoffed at myself. _God, Shikamaru, you're such a girl_, I thought scornfully. _Besides, Temari will never agree to it._

Then I thought, _To hell with what Temari thinks. I want to give this thing a name and if she doesn't like it, then forget her. I'm not going to be afraid of her, I'm going to speak up for what I want._ Boosted by thoughts of my defiance, I marched up the hall to Ino's room and opened the door.

I slumped when I realized Temari wasn't even there. What a waste.

Ino was sitting on her bed, looking through a magazine. I plopped down next to her, setting the baby down beside me. She gave me a giant smile, dropping her magazine and throwing her arms around me.

"Hi, Shikamaru!" she squeaked.

"What do you want?" I asked warily. She only hugged me when she wanted something, and usually I didn't like it.

"Oh, nothing," she said lightly (too lightly, I thought), letting go and turning to face me. "I need to talk to you, though."

"Okay, really, what do you want? I know you too well, Ino. Something's up." I crossed my arms.

Ino sighed. "You know I'm on the school committee, right?"

"Yeah," I said. "So?"

"And you know we organize a lot of the social events here, right?"

"Yeah..." I was getting anxious. Something bad was about to happen.

"Well, at the next board meeting, I was going to suggest that...we have a Halloween bash!" Ino flung her arms out dramatically.

I blinked, and there was silence for a few moments.

"And...what do I have to do with this?" I said finally.

Ino rolled her eyes. "Alright, here's the deal," she said, getting to the bottom line. "I'm _always_ suggesting stuff, and I don't think they'll do this Halloween thing if I just ask. So, I want you to come with me and tell them what a good idea it is."

"Ino, I'm not going to help you convince them to do another stupid party. Besides, I wouldn't be going to it anyway." I sighed and prepared to stand up, but Ino latched on to my arm.

"You have to help me, Shikamaru," she pleaded. "They'll never listen to me if I do it alone! You've got to help me out! Pleeeeeeease?" I tried to shake her off my arm, but she hung on.

I sighed. "If I do this..."

Ino beamed.

"I'm not saying I am," I warned her, "but if I did, what would I get out of it?"

Ino thought for a second.

"Hm...ooh, I know!" she said. "I'd hook you up with some-"

"Um, no," I interrupted. "You're going to have to come up with something better than that."

She pouted. "Okay, fine. If you help me out with this, I won't force you to come to my birthday party, like I do every year."

"We both know you're lying, Ino," I asserted.

"Yeah, but it's a nice concept, isn't it?" she said, giving me an imploring look and pulling on my arm.

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Does that mean yes?" Ino asked eagerly.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I grumbled. She squealed and hopped up from her bed, jumping up and down.

"Yes!" she shrieked. "Halloween bash, here we come!"

I stopped her. "Remember, there's no 'we'. I'm not going."

She glared at me. "Oh, yes you are."

"I am not."

"You are."

"I refuse to go to your stupid party. You already owe me for helping you." I grabbed my baby and walked towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going? The meeting's right now!" Ino somehow successfully navigated the subject away from whether I was going or not and steered me down the opposite side of the hallway.

Curse my passiveness.

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After Ino had announced her idea to the board, she called on me.

"Shikamaru, tell them what you think about my idea!" she said, giving me a look that said _You better not mess this up, or you're roadkill_.

I stood up. They all looked expectantly at me. What I really felt like saying was, _I think her idea sucks balls and nobody should listen to her from here on out_, but since I wasn't up for a conflict, I said, "Well, it's a good idea because everyone wants to go to a party for Halloween. It sounds like a lot of fun, and I would definitely go because it would be great." Of course, it sounded like I was reading from a notecard or something, but they decided to overlook that.

The board turned to talk amongst themselves, and I sat down. Ino gave me a thumbs up. I ignored her and tried to get in a nap while the board decided, but it only took them a few seconds.

"Well," the leader began, "we've made our decision."

_Please say no, please say no, _I thought earnestly.

"Ino, you're in the clear. Go ahead and plan this baby!" Ino jumped up and shouted for joy. I slumped down in my seat. I knew what was coming.

Sure enough, as soon as we were outside, Ino said, "Shikamaru, you're helping me plan this thing."

"No, I'm not. I just helped you get permission, and I'm not doing you anymore favors. So you'd better find somebody else to help you." I shifted the baby up so that I could support her neck. I looked at Ino and saw that she was watching me with a weird expression on her face.

"What?" I asked irritably.

"Shikamaru," Ino said slowly, "you're pretty into this whole baby thing, aren't you?"

"God, why does everyone keep asking me that?!" I exclaimed. "I'm _not_, okay? It's just that you get used to it after a while."

Ino raised an eyebrow skeptically, but changed the subject. "Anyway, you don't have to help me. I'll ask Temari."

"Please," I scoffed. "Like she'll ever do it."

"She will!" Ino argued. "Just watch." By now we were walking up to her room. Ino opened the door and said, "Temari! You'll never guess what I just did!"

Ino and I walked in. Temari was doing something on the computer, but she got up when she saw us. "Having fun with the baby?" she smirked, seeing me carrying her.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about her," I began, but Ino cut me off.

"Temari, I got permission from the committee to throw a Halloween party!" she said excitedly. Temari looked at her.

"So?" she said.

"_So_," Ino continued, "I want you to help me plan it! I think we'd make a great team, don't you, Shikamaru?" They both looked at me.

"Well, actually-"

"Good," Ino said, not giving me time to tell her that I thought it was a horrible idea. "Temari? Will you do it?"

Temari thought about it for a few seconds. Finally she said, "I guess so. I mean, I might as well- _ungh!_" She made a funny noise as Ino squeezed the breath out of her.

"Oh, I'm so happy!" she squealed. "This is going to be _great_, Temari, you won't believe-"

"Um, excuse me, but I was trying to talk about our project here," I interrupted, holding up the baby. Ino reluctantly let go of Temari, who gasped for breath.

"I think we should name her something," I announced.

Temari raised an eyebrow. "And why should we do that?" she said. "I already explained there's no point in doing all that. We're giving it back in two days. Besides, you can call it whatever you want, I don't care, but why are you coming to me about it?"

"Well, it's your project too. Shouldn't you have a say in what her name is?" I was getting tired of being defiant. It was exhausting. And I was afraid that I was going to have to keep arguing about this.

But suddenly Temari smiled. Granted, it was more smirk than smile, but still. I was shocked. I thought she was going to hit me.

"Wow," she said. "I can't believe you really said that. Okay. I'll help name her. But I'm not going to get attached like you did," she cautioned me.

"Fine," I said, relieved that she had given in. "So...any ideas?"

"What?!" Now she sounded like herself. "You wanted to name her, so you come up with some names!"

"I kind of didn't think I'd get this far," I said, slightly embarrassed.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't have any ideas," she said. "Ino? Any suggestions?"

Ino perked up. "I've always wanted to name someone's baby!" she said, her eyes shining. "How about you name her...Kumiko?"

Temari and I looked at each other. "No," we said in unison.

"Nami?" she suggested.

"No."

"Ino."

"No!"

"Hmmm...well then, how about Azumi?" Ino asked.

I was prepared to say no again when Temari said, "Actually...Azumi. I like it. It's kind of pretty." She grabbed the baby from my arms and held it above her head. "You are now dubbed Azumi!" she said, being silly. She and Ino laughed, until Azumi started up crying.

"Aw, man!" Temari said. "That's a bummer. Yo, Shikamaru, take care of this for me, will you?" She handed the baby to me.

"You know what's weird?" I said. "She didn't cry the whole time I had her."

"Wonder why that is," Ino mused.

"She probably just doesn't like you, Temari," I said, snickering. Temari glowered at me, not saying a word. I sighed and stopped Azumi's wailing.

Temari silently held her hands out for Azumi. "What, you actually want to hold her now?" I asked.

"She'd better start getting used to me. I _am_ her mother, you know," Temari said, taking Azumi from me. Personally, I thought it was for Temari to get used to Azumi, not the other way around, but I didn't say anything.

"Temari, do you realize that you just officially claimed her as your baby?" Ino pointed out.

Temari looked startled, but shook it off and said, "I might as well, Ino. She pretty much _is_ my baby for now, as odd as it might be for both of us." I noted that she was also talking about Azumi as if she were a real person with feelings now. I was beginning to think that Temari might actually have maternal instincts buried somewhere deep down in that black heart of hers. But of course, I didn't bring it up, being the pacifist that I am.

"Well, since you two obviously have some planning to do, I'm going to go get some sleep now," I said, backing towards the door.

"Wait!" Ino yelled, running up to me. "Before you go, promise me you'll come to the party."

"I already said I wasn't going, Ino," I said wearily.

"But you _have _to!" she insisted.

"I refuse." I turned to go, but Ino stopped me.

"If you don't," she said, an evil grin spreading across her face, "I'll show everyone those pictures of you making out with Neji."

"But I never made out with Neji," I protested.

"Exactly," Ino said, poking me in the chest.

I shook my head. "I'm not going."

Ino sighed and said, "Fine. At least all those yaoi fangirls will enjoy it..."

"Okay!" I stopped her. "Okay. I'll go." Ino smiled. "But I'm _not_ going to like it. And I'm not dancing."

Ino just grinned at me and said, "Bye, Shikamaru!" Temari waved, smirking at me as I walked out.

As I left, I heard Temari say, "You're a genius at blackmail. You've got to show me how mess with Shikamaru's head like that. And...what about those pictures?"

Then Ino said, "There _are_ no pictures, duh!" They both laughed, and I stopped in my tracks, furious. Ino never had any doctored photos of me in the first place!

I considered going back in there and confronting Ino, but being me, I just sighed and went back to my room. She was just one of those people.

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**A/N: I bet you all thought Ino's plan was to get Temari and Shikamaru together, huh? Hah, I fooled you! Don't shoot me!**

**Don't worry, they'll realize their feelings eventually. But it won't be easy! They're both too darn stubborn. Anyway, please review! I've got a lot of hits on this story but no reviews. It makes me depressed. So cheer up the angsty depressed writer that is me by reviewing, lovelies! XOXO**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Chapter seven, yo! Okay, so Ino's got an idea for a Halloween blowout. And you know Ino: she's going to do it big! But does Ino have an ulterior motive underlying the party? And does it involve Temari and Shikamaru? _And will it happen in this chapter?!_**

**No. But it's fun teasing you guys. And I promise you'll find out soon. Don't shoot me! . **

**Disclaimer: I started praying that Naruto would somehow magically become mine. But...it hasn't happened so far.**

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"Okay, we've got decorations down," Ino said, satisfied. "Now we need to decide what food we're going to have. I found this website that has really good ideas for Halloween foods."

"Like what?" We were sitting on the floor in our room, writing up lists for what we would need.

"Well, there's this punch that has eyeballs in it," she said. "And then there are witch's fingers, and tombstone cupcakes, and ghost cookies..." She trailed off.

"Sounds good," I said. "But who's going to make all this stuff? And more importantly, who's going to buy everything we need?"

Ino waved dismissively at me. "I'll just call my daddy and he can bring it for us. And we can get the cooks to make it, if we pay them enough."

"Um...okay." Ino seemed to be used to this. Then again, she probably was.

"As a matter of fact, I already printed out all the recipes," Ino continued. "All we have to do is email everything we need for the food and the decorations to my dad, and he'll get it to us by tomorrow."

"Ino?" I asked. "Isn't this party supposed to be happening in two days?"

"Yeah, so?" Ino was busy writing things down.

"Do you really think that's enough time to set it up?" I said skeptically.

"Oh, Temari, Temari, Temari," Ino said, shaking her head. "You don't throw many parties, do you?"

"Uh, no." I had never been to many either, but I didn't say that.

Ino sighed. "Don't worry so much. I could pull this off in two hours if I wanted to." I was beginning to believe her. Ino was the kind of person who could throw parties back-to-back without breaking a sweat.

"Fine. But...one more thing. Who's going to help us decorate the gym? I know for a fact that just the two of us can't finish it in time."

Ino laughed at me and said, "Temari, haven't you ever heard of feminine charm? If we worked together, we could bring the male student body to their knees. Trust me, getting help for decorating is the _last_ thing I'm worried about."

I rolled my eyes. "You're going to have to bring them to their knees by yourself, which I'm sure you could. Seems like you've had enough practice. Anyway, if you aren't worried about getting help, what _are_ you worried about?"

Ino looked at me with a gleam in her eye, and my heart froze in fear.

"_Costumes_," she said, looking like a crazed madwoman.

"Um, Ino, you're kind of creeping me out," I said, backing away.

"No, listen! Costumes are the most important part of the whole thing. I've got to find something awesome for us to wear. We have to look the best out of everyone," she said, talking at the speed of light.

"Whoa, calm down, Ino," I said, grabbing her by the shoulders. "It's not that serious. Don't burst a blood vessel."

"It _is_ that serious!" she shrieked, shaking me off. "If we don't look better than everyone else, then what's the point?"

"I'm pretty sure the point was to have fun," I said, raising an eyebrow. "Not to turn a simple party into a competition. Besides, it's not like anyone's going to care what we look like."

Ino's eye twitched. "No one...will...care?" she said, advancing upon me. "No one will _care_?! What the hell's wrong with you? Of course they care! _Everyone _cares! Have you lived under a _rock_ your entire life?! Looks are everything! You remember how they said in elementary school that looks aren't everything? They lied to you! Looks are _everything!_" By now she was this close to strangling me. I grabbed her wrists to keep her hands away from my throat.

"Ino, calm _down_! Are you trying to kill me?" I pushed her away, and she plopped down on the floor. "Let's just discuss this like normal people, okay?!" I said, breathing hard. Ino wasn't as predictable as you would think.

I sat down across from her. She seemed dazed.

"Ino?" No answer. "Ino, can you hear me? Hello?" Suddenly she stared up at me, looking as if she had just woken up from a dream or something.

"What were we talking about again?" she asked, bewildered.

"Um...costumes?" I said cautiously. I had seen what the word had done to her before.

"Oh, yes. Costumes," Ino said pleasantly, settling herself into a more comfortable position. I had been expecting another explosion, but seemingly Ino was back to her old self.

"So, Temari, what do you want to be? I have a magazine with a bunch of costumes in it, if you want to look." Ino smoothed her hair.

"Please. I'd never wear a costume that was pre-made from a magazine," I said scornfully. And it was true. What was the point of a costume when you didn't come up with it yourself?

"Fine. But you need to come up with something, then," Ino informed me. I sighed.

"I have no idea what I want to do," I admitted. Ino laughed.

"Oh, I'll think of something," she said. "Trust me. I always do."

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A few hours of planning later (most of which was spent listening to Ino gossip about everyone) Ino and I were headed down to the dining hall for lunch, with Azumi in tow, when we ran into Shikamaru.

Literally.

No, seriously, we knocked right into him. We were coming out of the dorm building and he was apparently going in. None of us were watching where we were going, so we ended up in a pile on the porch.

"Watch where you're going, Nara!" I snapped, getting up and dusting myself off. I picked up Azumi as Shikamaru and Ino stood up. "What did you want, anyway?"

"I was coming to see how planning was going," he replied lethargically. "And to see if you've killed Azumi yet."

"Obviously not, since she's in perfect shape," I said irritatedly. "As a matter of fact, she hasn't cried once." And just then, she began wailing. Shikamaru smirked at me while I sighed and switched it off.

"Not once, huh?" he said smugly. I felt the urge to punch him in the face.

"Shut up," I gritted between my teeth.

Ino stepped between us. "Now, now," she said sternly, "you two are partners. And more importantly, you're parents. Nothing is worse for a child's development than seeing their parents fight."

I glared at the boy, who did the same. Finally Ino said, "I suggest that you two call a truce. At least until you have to give Azumi back."

"Well..." I mused, "there's only two days left...I think I could deal with that."

"Yeah, I guess I could do it," Shikamaru said grudgingly. "For the baby, of course."

"Then it's settled," Ino said happily. "You two are going to the Halloween bash together!"

"What?!" Shikamaru and I said together, whirling to look at Ino, who was shrugging apologetically.

"Well, it was worth a try," she said sheepishly.

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In exactly one day, Ino's dad sent every last thing we asked for. When we got the boxes, Ino was overjoyed.

Of course, this meant she went all hyperactive on me.

"Oh my god, Temari, lookit!" she screamed, ripping the boxes open. "Everything arrived in one piece!"

"You're excited because everything arrived in one piece?" I asked, standing off to the side. "You should be more worried about getting it all set up. The party date's in two days!"

"Temari, didn't I tell you before that I would handle it?" she said. "This stuff can stay here for now. We'll have people to do the heavy lifting for us in no time." Ino stood and, grabbing me by the wrist, started dragging me to the rec center.

"I can do my _own_ heavy lifting, thank you very much!" I said, trying to get out of her grip.

"So can I, but you're supposed to let the guys do it for you! Women _are_ the superior species, after all. Why should we do manual labor?" Ino said.

"Well...that does make sense," I thought out loud.

"See? It's final, then. We're going to pull the guys away from their stupid games to help us decorate the gym. It won't be easy, especially for an amateur like you--" at this I frowned "--but I think if you just watch me, you can get it pretty quickly."

By now we were at the rec center. We walked inside, and Ino jumped onto the pool table, interrupting several guys' games.

"I have an announcement to make!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "I need volunteers to come help Temari and I decorate the gym for my Halloween bash!"

They just stared up at her until someone said, "Yeah, so? What's in it for us?"

"Um..." Ino said, thinking. "Well..."

I stepped forward. "Anyone who helps gets free snacks!" I hollered. Suddenly there was a noisy stampede of teenage guys, jostling to get out of the door first. I jumped onto the pool table with Ino to save myself from getting trampled in the crowd. Once they were all gone, I helped Ino get down, hopping down after her.

"Whoa. Temari, how did you know they'd respond that way to food?" Ino asked in awe.

I laughed. "When you have two little brothers, you know these things."

We got to the gym just in time to set up some refreshments for the guys, who were almost done with the decorations. It was amazing what they would do for food. And besides that, the gym looked great.

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The next day, I was headed over to Shikamaru's room to give him Azumi when someone knocked into me.

"Twice in two days? How the hell..." I muttered, standing up and dusting off myself and Azumi, trailing off when I saw who it was. "Oh, hi, TenTen," I said. We weren't exactly best of friends. We weren't openly hostile, but she seemed to have some sort of resentment towards me, and I didn't know why. I supposed she was just one of those girls who hated you for no reason.

"Hello, Temari," she said, sickly sweet. "So...what's going on?"

"Nothing," I said. The last thing I needed was a conversation with her. "Just headed to see Shikamaru."

"Is that so?" she said. "May I ask why?"

I puffed out my air. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm giving him the baby," I replied, getting annoyed.

"Really. Seems like you and Shikamaru are spending a lot of time together lately, hm?" TenTen said.

"What are you suggesting?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just that some might say you two are more than friends. Friends with benefits, if you catch my drift." TenTen smirked at my expression.

"What?" I said in disgust. "That's ridiculous. The only reason I even talk to him is because we're partners in this baby project, and because he's Ino's friend."

"Oh yes, Ino," TenTen said, her voice bitter. "You and _Ino_ are such good friends now, huh?"

"As a matter of fact, we are," I said angrily. "Now, unless you have something useful to say, I'd suggest you get out of my way." TenTen was startled by my venomous tone, but quickly regained her composure and stepped out of the way.

But as I walked past, she said, "I'd watch myself if I were you, Temari. Gossip spreads like wildfire, you know."

I ignored her and continued on down the sidewalk. TenTen chuckled, then I heard her walk away.

_What did she mean, gossip spreads like wildfire?_ I thought. _I hope it didn't mean what I thought it meant. And...what was that about Shikamaru? "Friends with benefits," that's what she said. Does everyone really think we're screwing each other?_ I grimaced. If they did, I didn't know why; we obviously hated each other. I eventually decided to ask Ino if it was true that people were gossiping about me. She would know.

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I finally got to Shikamaru's room. For the first time, I saw Sasuke in there with him. Usually if one was in there, the other was trying to get lost. But they weren't talking or anything; Shikamaru was lying on his bed, and Sasuke was sitting at the desk. When I saw that he was on the computer, I snickered. _Wonder what _he's_ doing, huh? _I thought.

I didn't say it out loud, though, and walked over to where Shikamaru was probably asleep.

"Shikamaru," I said. He didn't move. "Shikamaru!" Still no sign that he was conscious, or even alive. I went over and sat on his stomach, hard. He gasped and tried to sit up, but I kept all my weight on him. "Next time," I said, placing Azumi in his arms, "wake up when I call you the first time." I stood up, and he immediately sat up, panting for breath.

"Later, Shikamaru," I said, walking out of the room. "Oh, and...bye, Sas-gay." I sniggered, walking out.

As I left, I heard Sasuke say incredulously, "_What_ did she just call me?"

I started laughing uncontrollably when I heard Shikamaru casually say, "I'm pretty sure she just called you gay."

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**A/N: TenTen lovers everywhere, don't hate me please! I needed someone to be a little bitchy, and I picked TenTen at random! I swear, I had my eyes closed running my finger down a list of names. If you're mad, I'll write a story after this one where TenTen is the wonderful person we know and love, but I just needed her to be mean in this one. Gomennasai!!!**

**Next chapter: The Halloween Party?! We shall see!!!**

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	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Chapter numero ocho, dudes. I'm not going to say much this time, but...this chapter kind of...um...just read it! You know you want to!**

**Disclaimer: It doesn't bleeping belong to me!**

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It was the last day of parenthood for Temari and I. We were walking with Ino to our Home Ec class and saying our goodbyes to Azumi.

"Well, kid," Temari said, holding her up at eye level, "been nice knowing you. Hopefully I'll never have to do anything like this again."

"Please, Temari," Ino said dismissively, "you _know_ you liked it."

"Liked what?"

"Being a mother."

"Yeah, right." Temari laughed. "You just wish you could _really_ be someone's godmother."

Ino shrugged. "You're right. I _do _wish I was someone's godmother. Now, since I admitted it, admit that you liked having a baby."

"Never," Temari said, passing Azumi over to me.

I looked down at the baby. "Um...goodbye, baby," I said, not really knowing what to say.

"I know you can do better than that, Shikamaru," Ino said, rolling her eyes.

"No, really, I have no idea what to say." By then we were entering the classroom. Shizune-sensei was at the front, looking happy, as always.

"Alright, children, almost time to turn in your babies," she said. "I'd like you to discuss the past three days among yourselves."

The class erupted into loud conversation as everyone compared experiences.

"Hey, Shikamaru, how'd you like being a daddy?" Kiba said, trotting up to me. Hinata trailed behind him, holding their baby in his arms.

"It was okay, I guess," I said. Temari looked skeptically at me and laughed.

"Come on, Nara, you know you were thrilled," she said. "Kiba, let me tell you about Shikamaru here..." I groaned and walked away. I knew she was going to make me sound like Mother Goose or something, but if I denied it, I would look defensive. I couldn't win, so I just went and sat at my desk. Putting my head down, I closed my eyes and tried to slip in a little sleep. Azumi had actually cried while she was with me and kept me up all night.

I had hardly started drifting off when Kiba, Temari and Hinata came back over to where I was. Kiba clapped me hard on the back, laughing.

"Your maternal instincts too much for you, Shikamaru?" he said, guffawing. I glared at him. He and Hinata wandered away, leaving me with Temari.

"So..." she said, plunking down on the top of my desk, forcing me to sit up. "What do you _really_ think about the whole project?"

"Since when do you care what I think?" I asked, scowling.

"Since today," she said curtly. "So spill it."

I sighed. "Like I said earlier, it was okay. Interesting to see what it's like having a kid. Now can you get off my desk?"

Temari just scooted over, giving me even less room. "No, it's comfortable. Anyway," she said, "I thought it was almost kind of fun. You know, except for the crying and the diapers and feeding and stuff."

"You do realize that's just about everything a baby does?" I inquired. She shrugged indifferently.

"Whatever. Do you think--" She was cut off by Shizune, who called the class to attention. Temari slid off my desk and walked over to her own, sitting down.

"So, how was it, class?" Shizune said, clapping her hands together. "Yes, Lee," she said, as Rock Lee's hand shot up.

He jumped onto his desk. "It was most youthful, Shizune-sensei!" he declared. "It was thrilling to have the experience of having a child with my only love, Sakura!" The only love in question moaned miserably and dropped her pink head onto her desk.

"Alright, Lee, sit down now," Shizune said. "Anyone else? Anybody?" No one seemed to want to share their thoughts on the project, until Temari raised her hand.

"Go ahead, Temari."

"Okay. So," she began, standing up, "I was partnered with Shikamaru there, and in the beginning I wasn't sure we could get along well enough to keep our baby alive for more than a few hours. But the whole thing actually made us better friends."

I was ready to protest that it hadn't, but then I realized that over the space of a couple days the shaky relationship between Temari and I had strengthened into what you could call a friendship. I was stunned. When had that happened?! I had been certain that we would be hating each other's guts for all eternity.

"Anyway, it was kind of cool being a parent for three whole days. It made me realize that I never, _ever_ want kids." There was a stunned silence as Temari sat back down, smirking, and then someone giggled. Pretty soon everyone was laughing, and Shizune had to clap her hands to get their attention.

"Students, students!" she called. "Please, class, quiet down."

In the midst of the noise, Temari looked over at me and smiled.

And, almost without realizing it, I smiled back.

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The next day, Ino almost mowed me down when she saw me.

"Shikamaru!" she gasped, grabbing me by the shirt. "I almost forgot to make you a costume for my party tonight!"

I took her hands off of me and said, "Oh, that's too bad. Since I don't have a costume, I can't come. Sorry." I tried to leave before she realized that I was trying to put one over on her, but she was too quick for me and clutched my arm.

"Oh no, you don't," she said firmly, hauling me to her room. "I said I _almost_ forgot. You're still going. Or do you want me to pass out those pictures of you and Neji?"

I sighed. "Ino, I know there's no pictures, so how about you let me go?"

"I don't care, you're still coming, so suck it up." We went into her room, where a black suit was laid out on her bed.

"Is that for me?" I asked. I hoped she hadn't went out and actually bought something.

"Yep," she said, grinning. "Now, off with your clothes."

"What?!" I exclaimed, flabbergasted. I had never taken Ino for the dominatrix type. Temari, maybe, but not Ino.

"Not like _that_, you perv," she said, rolling her eyes. "I need to see how it fits. Even though I probably got the perfect size, it can't hurt to check."

"Oh," I said, relieved. I had almost thought Ino was going to rape me or something.

After trying on the suit (which turned out to be old-fashioned, with a tailcoat) Ino made a satisfied noise and handed it to me, along with a box.

"Well, I got the perfect size, like I thought. You can go now, but you'd better be in the gym by eight." Ino pushed me towards the door.

"Wait, what's in the box?" I asked, shaking it to see if it made a noise. Not a sound.

Ino grinned. "You'll see," she said enigmatically. "Just make sure you're at the party on time." She shoved me out of her room and closed the door in my face. I stood there, looking down at the box in my hand, before turning to go.

As I headed around the corner in the hallway, I collided with someone and we both fell to the ground. When I sat up, all I saw were four spiky blonde pigtails. _Great_, I thought. _Perfect person to crash into._ Temari and I both stood, and I heard her mumbling something about the third time. When she saw me, though, she picked up the boxes she had dropped and pushed past me down the hallway. I saw that her cheeks were pink. I felt my own face burning, and I wondered why I was blushing. It was just Temari, after all.

I turned and watched her hurry to her room, glancing back at me and then going in, before heading towards the elevator. Why was I blushing? And more importantly, why was she?

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A couple hours later, I was showered and dressed for Ino's party. The only thing left was the mysterious box she had given me. I picked it up and took off the top of the box. Inside...

...was a white half-mask. I stared at it for a moment, and then I groaned in disbelief. _She dressed me as the freakin' Phantom of the Opera?! _I thought, smacking my forehead. I really didn't want to wear it, but...Ino would kill me if I showed up without it, so I swallowed my pride and put it on. I was about to throw the box away when I noticed two other things inside that I had missed. There was a note, and a red rose.

I picked up the note. It read:

_Shikamaru,_

_Right now you're probably hating me for making you the Phantom, but get over it. I thought you would make a good Phantom, and you do, even though I haven't seen you yet :) The rose is for your jacket lapel. Make sure you're at the gym by eight!_

_P.S. Wear your hair down. Because I said so, that's why._

_Love, Ino _

_XOXO_

Ino was too much. Now she wanted me to wear my hair out too. Why was I friends with her again?

I sighed, tucked the rose into my buttonhole, and took my hair out and ran a brush through it a couple times. Peering into the mirror, I had to grin. I actually _did_ make a pretty sexy Phantom of the Opera, if I did say so myself. I checked the clock. It was 7:45. Well, at least Ino couldn't yell at me for being late. Putting my hands in my pockets, I sauntered out the door.

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I felt the party before I saw it. Felt, as in the bass from the music was bumping through me like I was hollow. It felt kind of cool, actually.

When I actually got into the gym, I was shocked at how good it looked. The walls were covered in black streamers, giving the place a different atmosphere. Colored strobe lights wandered about the room, reflecting off the large disco ball in the center of the ceiling. The room was already packed with people gyrating on the dance floor. I didn't see Ino, so I headed over to the tables piled with snack food, where I was sure Chouji would be.

Sure enough, there he was, and surprisingly Ino was with him. When she saw me, Ino started jumping up and down.

"Shikamaru!" she squealed, running up to me and grabbing me by the shoulders. I saw that she was dressed as a porcelain doll, complete with frilly lolita dress and bloomers, which were totally visible.

"I _knew_ it would be perfect! You look great! Doesn't he, Chouji?" Ino slapped me on the back. I winced. Ino was strong for a skinny girl.

"Mm-hmm." Chouji, made up to look like a zombie, appraised me as he chewed on a handful of chips. "Very creepy."

"Chouji, he's not supposed to be creepy," Ino whined, stamping her foot. "He's supposed to be _sexy_!"

"Which I am," I chimed in.

"Of course you are, Shikamaru," Ino said distractedly before turning back to Chouji. "Besides, Chouji, what do you know anyway?"

I turned and left before it got ugly. Heading over to some chairs on one wall, I sat down and put my hands behind my head. I liked people-watching. It was almost as nice as cloud-watching. I observed the crowd, looking for familiar faces. There was Sakura; she was dressed up as a fairy, sparkles and all. Shino was a secret service guy or something. I couldn't really tell, since it wasn't that different from what he usually wore. Sasuke was something dark and dead-looking. He looked like a corpse to me, but a whole bunch of girls were falling all over him, so I just rolled my eyes and got up.

People-watching always made me thirsty, so I walked over to the snack table again. Ino and Chouji were gone; she was probably dancing and mingling, and he was most likely off in a corner munching on something. I sighed and grabbed a cup. I was filling it with dark red punch when I heard someone behind me say, "Shikamaru? Is that you?"

I turned around and saw what looked like Temari, but I wasn't sure. She was dressed as what was best described as an eerie ballerina: she had on a black strapless leotard and a matching tutu, with black lace-up ballet flats. Her wild hair had somehow been tamed into a bun, and there was a single red rose in it. Her teal eyes were rimmed with black, and her lips were blood red. The creepiest things were the remarkably realistic stitches running up and down her arms. I swear, for a second I thought she had actually sown herself together.

"Um...Temari?" I asked tentatively, not sure if I had the right person. She laughed, realizing it was me under the mask.

"So, I see Ino got to you too, huh?"

I smiled. "Yeah...she's lucky I'm not the violent type." We looked at each other, and there was this awkward silence between us. She looked down and scratched her arm, and I remembered that I had punch and took a swig. It tasted a little funny, but it quenched my thirst, which was all I cared about. To relieve the tension, I said, "You want some punch?"

"Yeah, thanks," Temari said, sounding relieved that I had said something before she had to. I ladled some punch into another cup and handed it to her. We both stood there, drinking in silence and watching everyone dance. We both had a few more cups before Temari held up her cup.

"Hey, does this taste funny to you?" she said suddenly, looking suspiciously at the dark red liquid and sounding a little hazy.

"Yeah, but it's probably because Ino made it," I joked. For some reason I was feeling a little more confident now. Probably because of the sexy mask.

"But it was pre-made," Temari said. We both looked into our cups. "Oh, great," she said, putting the cup down on the table and barely making it. "Someone spiked the punch."

"How do you know?" I asked, taking another experimental sip. I didn't think it tasted like alchohol. Then again, I had never tasted alchohol.

Temari sighed. "I've had liquor before, duh," she said, rolling her eyes. "I know what it tastes like."

"It tastes fine to me," I said, drinking some more. Temari was starting to sound a little garbled.

"Don't drink that, stupid!" she said, her words running together. She slapped the cup out of my hand, and it landed on the floor. Temari sighed heavily and headed for the door.

"It sucks in here. I'm going outside," she said, walking unsteadily out of the gym. I followed. I had nothing better to do.

I tripped at least fifteen times before we made it outside. Once we were out there, Temari stopped in her tracks, not having any idea where she wanted to go. I grabbed her hand and towed her behind me. "I know this really nice place," I said, tripping for the sixteenth time over my own foot. "Really pretty. It's got a fountain and everything." I showed her to the gardens, which were luckily not too far from the gym. I could feel the alchohol starting to take effect; the ground was tilting like a pinball game.

We got to the gardens, which were blooming for the last time that year, and sat down on the edge of the fountain. There was a cool breeze blowing, and I could feel goosebumps running up my arms. I knew Temari had to be cold; she was only wearing that thin dancer's outfit.

"Hey, Temari..." I slurred. My tongue felt thick in my mouth.

"Hm?"

"Why'd Ino make you a ballerina, anyway?"

"I told her I took ballet when I was a kid." Temari looked at me. "Why'd she make you a...a...whatever you are?"

"I'm the Phantom of the Opera. She likes the movie." I took off the mask. It was getting itchy.

Temari nodded sagely, almost falling into the fountain. "The moon's so pretty tonight," she said, gazing up. I looked into the sky. There was a big, bright full moon, with not a cloud in the sky.

"Mm-hmm," I agreed.

We looked up at the moon for a while, until Temari said, "This bun is getting on my nerves." She untied her hair, and it tumbled loose over her shoulders. The rose that had been in it fell behind us into the water. I caught myself staring at her, but I couldn't help it. The way she looked, with the wind blowing her hair as she looked up at the moon...I blinked hard a couple of times, until Temari looked over at me.

"Something in your eye?" she asked, peering at me. She scooted closer and looked into my eyes. Suddenly her face got really big, and by the time I realized that it was because I was getting closer, I was already kissing her. I felt her tense for a second, and then she melted, pressing back on my mouth. We stayed like that for a long moment, and the whole time one thought was running through my head: _She has the softest lips..._

Then she pulled away, and we both breathed deeply. I could see the indecision in her eyes, like she was deciding whether she wanted to do this or not...I guess she decided, because the next thing I knew our lips were locking together with more force than before. Temari kissed me hungrily, as if she needed me for life itself, and I responded without hesitation, holding her to me as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I had never really kissed a girl (that I liked) before, but this...this came naturally, our bodies molding perfectly together, as if we had been created solely for this purpose.

This went on until we got a little too excited and fell into the fountain.

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They found us right after that, soaking wet, freezing, and completely sober. Ino was the first to spot us, yelling for everyone to come because "I found them, I found them!" She ran up to us, but halted when she saw us up close. We must have looked pretty guilty, because a knowing grin spread slowly over her face. Then she squealed.

"Didn't I tell you guys you were going to get along?!" she yelled ecstatically. "This is perfect! Two of my best friends, in love!" Ino twirled around and ignored our protests as Temari and I tried to convince her that it wasn't what she thought it was, and that we were most definitely _not_ in love. By then it was too late; the rest of the search party (which was only about eight people, but all gossips) had caught up, and of course they jumped to the same conclusion that Ino did: Temari and I had sneaked away to make out in the moonlight because we were madly in love. We were instantly surrounded by a group of squealing, swooning girls who wanted to know every detail of our "love affair."

It seemed like an eternity before I was finally able to escape to my room. Once I was inside I collapsed on the floor. Sasuke looked down at me from his place on the bed.

"Rough night?" he asked, making sure that it sounded like he didn't give a shit. Which he didn't.

"You have no idea," I groaned, pulling myself up to a sitting position.

"Actually, I do," he said smugly. "I could hear them screaming all the way over here. You do realize you two are never going to live this down?"

"Shut up," I said harshly, grabbing my towel and heading out to take a shower before flopping into bed. I was too exhausted to think about what tomorrow would bring.

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**A/N: This chapter was exhausting. I have never in my life written a kissing scene before this one, and I'm not the most romantic chick ever, so...yeah. Not my forte. I hope it was okay for you guys, though. But aren't you excited to see what's going to happen next? So am I! Hugs and kisses, ya'll!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Two chappies in one day! I'm on a roll, even though this one is really short...anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: It ain't mine, beyotches.**

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I woke up the day after the party with a bruised back, a bump on my head, a killer headache, and a cold.

"What..." I said groggily as I sat up in bed. "What happened?" Ino was already awake, which was odd. Usually I was up before she was. "What time is it?" I asked her.

She turned from her place at the desk, surprised. "Oh, you're finally up," she said, smiling. "What did you ask?"

"What time is it? And...what the hell happened to me last night? I remember that I went to your party...but after that it kind of blurs." I threw the covers aside and swung my legs over the side of the bed, grimacing at the jagged pain that shot through my head.

"Well...to answer your questions, it's around one in the afternoon, the reason you don't remember anything is because some nutjob spiked the punch, and you're all banged up because you fell in the fountain when you were making out with Shikamaru," Ino said in one breath.

I looked blankly at her, then blinked. "Uh...what?" I said, rubbing my eyes.

Ino sighed. "You and Shikamaru got drunk and sucked face in the gardens," she said matter-of-factly, flipping through a magazine.

I froze, staring at Ino. She felt my eyes on her back and turned to face me. "I'm not kidding, I'm not crazy, and I'm not wrong. I saw it. So did seven other people." She went back to her magazine.

_This is all a dream,_ I told myself. _A horrible, ghastly dream. Just wake up, Temari, and it'll all be gone. _Feeling a bit giddy, I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched my arm. I opened my eyes cautiously and looked around. It still looked the same.

"Ino, what happened last night again?" I said, hoping against hope that it had worked.

"You kissed Shikamaru."

"Damn." I tried it again. Nothing.

After that I went a little crazy. I bit my arm. Then I slapped myself. Ino finally noticed what I was doing when I kicked the dresser as hard as I could with bare feet.

"Temari, what the hell?!" she cried, seeing me jumping around and holding my foot. "This isn't a dream, okay? You and Shikamaru made out. It's a fact. There are witnesses. So get over yourself, because you two are meant for each other and there's nothing you can do to change it. It's in the stars! See, look!" Ino held up the magazine and thrust it at my face. My eyes were still bleary, so it took a second, but eventually I could see that I was looking at a horoscope page in one of those teen magazines.

"Read it!" Ino said. I growled, but scanned over the page. I stopped at my horoscope and read it silently.

"Out loud," she demanded. I glared at her, then read my horoscope for that day:

"Leo," I mumbled. "Things have been weird for you lately, but no fear. You'll find love in an unexpected place, through one of your new friends." I crinkled my nose in disgust. "Ino, don't tell me you actually believe these things."

"Of course I do!" she replied. "Your horoscope was so specific, it _had_ to be true!"

"Bullshit," I said, frowning. "These things are mass-produced fortune cookie messages that are vague enough to apply to anyone. I mean, come on! If it said a name, then maybe, but this is pure crap." I tossed the magazine away, Ino pouting as it flopped down onto the floor.

"Now, down to serious business," I said. "What's this whole thing about me...kissing Shikamaru?" I made a face as I said the last two words.

"Well..." Ino began, her eyes sparkling, "I couldn't find you guys at the party, so I went looking for you with my search party."

"Your 'search party'?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. My search party. Anyway, you definitely weren't in the gym, so we thought maybe you went outside. The gardens aren't too far from there, so that was the first place we checked. Sure enough, you two were standing by the fountain, _soaking_ wet." She looked wickedly delighted as she said this. "Of course, we knew that you guys were out there..._together_, if you catch my drift, even though you and Shika tried to convince us that it wasn't like that. But it didn't work. Your teeth were chattering too hard for you to make any sense, and Shikamaru's not a very good liar, if you ask me." Satisfied with my horror-stricken expression, she sat back and grinned at me.

There was a long, _looooong_ silence as I tried to reconcile my obvious unattraction (if that was even a word) to the Nara boy with the possibility that all this might be true. That I _did_, in fact, kiss him. A drunken kiss, maybe, but still. And while I was suffering all of this emotional turmoil, the whole time Ino looked expectantly at me, as if waiting for me to confess my love or something. Not that I loved him or anything. I mean, that would just be weird, right? If I loved him, I think I would know. Wouldn't I?

Eventually, Ino broke the silence by saying, "You do realize that this is Saturday, and you're wasting it, trying to deny your true feelings. I say we go out and have fun. You'll feel better. And besides, if we run into Shikamaru, you can--"

"_No!_" I exclaimed. Ino looked at me like I was completely bonkers. "I mean, I don't want to go out," I said, trying to fix it. "I'm sick, you know."

But Ino had caught me, and a slow grin spread across her face as she said, "You don't want to see him."

"What? I said I was sick."

"You're _afraid_ to see him!" she said, pointing a finger at me.

"Are you crazy? I'm not afraid of him." I was getting worried, though. Ino could read people a little too well.

"You're embarrassed," Ino said gleefully.

I scoffed. "I am not."

"Oh, yes you are. I can tell. You don't want to talk to him because you finally saw that it really happened, and this isn't just a dream! You're afraid of what he might say about last night!" Ino declared triumphantly.

I was about to protest, but I realized that I had no good arguments on my side. So I settled for: "I hate you. I really, really do."

Ino giggled and clapped her hands excitedly. "Oh, you guys are going to be so cute together!" she squealed happily.

I just glowered at her as I stomped off to take a shower.

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Later on, after some painkillers, Ino dragged me off to the rec center. When we entered, we saw a little mob of people clustered around something. Ino, being a gossipmonger, just _had_ to know what was going on, so we pushed through the crowd to see what was at the center.

As luck would have it, the something turned out to be Shikamaru, slouched down in a chair. He saw me at the same moment that I saw him, and if that wasn't bad enough, so did everyone else. Once they recognized me, I was bombarded with questions.

"So, is it true?"

"Are you two going steady now?"

"Do you want kids?"

"How's the fountain water?"

Once I realized what they were talking about, I groaned and slumped wearily. I just wasn't up for this. The gossipmongers didn't care, though, and kept going away at it.

One person asked, "What was it like when Shikamaru kissed you?"

Shikamaru, the bastard, piped up and said, "Hey, she kissed _me._"

I looked at him incredulously. "I can't _believe_ you!" I screeched. "You know it was you who tried to eat my fucking face! I was just sitting there!"

"But you kissed back." There was a unanimous 'oooooh' from the crowd. Shikamaru looked smug. I wanted to cave his face in.

"You got me drunk! What did you expect?" Another 'oooooh'.

"I expected you to hold your alchohol better."

"So you admit that you deliberately gave me spiked punch?" I asked angrily.

"Don't be stupid. Why would I drink it if I knew it was spiked?" He rolled his eyes at me.

"Oh, so you're calling me stupid now." I put my hands on my hips.

"Maybe I am."

"Well then, maybe I can tell everyone what a shitty kisser you are."

"You sure seemed to like it when I kissed you," he said mockingly. There was a chorus of gasps.

"Hey, _everyone's_ a good kisser when you're plastered as hell." The watchers laughed, and someone shouted, "Burn!"

"Not my fault you like to drink."

"Not _my_ fault you're a psycho who likes to get girls stoned and then--"

"Psycho? You're calling _me_ a psycho? Oh, you're not one to talk!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think we both know what it means."

"No, explain it. Tell everyone exactly what you mean."

"Fine. You're a vicious, sadistic _madwoman. _Ever since you got here, you've been at odds with someone or other. I'm firmly convinced that you exist to make my life a living hell." A frown creased his brow.

"Is that actually how you feel about me?" I asked sardonically. "Then before we part, let me just say that you have really cold hands."

The room exploded into yells and laughter. I was smirking and Shikamaru was about to retort when Ino stepped between us.

"You guys, stop it!" she said. "You're so hateful to each other, I can't stand it. You've got to get over whatever problem you have with each other." But we were still glaring at each other, and the gossipmongers were starting to tell Ino to get out of the way so we could keep going.

Ino was a determined little soldier, though, and dragged us both out of the room, to the protests of the mob. Once we were outside, she stood in front of us, looking furious.

"I want you to both apologize right now!" she yelled at us. I laughed mockingly, and Shikamaru crossed his arms.

"You really think I'm going to apologize to _him_?" I asked, jerking my chin at Shikamaru.

"Yes. And Shikamaru, you too," Ino said.

"You must be out of your mind," he muttered, turning away.

Ino stood there, her face growing redder and redder. Finally she shouted, "What the hell is_ wrong_ with you people?! You're both too fucking stubborn to actually talk about what happened, so I try to help and look what it gets me!"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't help," I said nonchalantly.

"Exactly," Shikamaru agreed. I looked at him, surprised. "I-I mean, I'm not agreeing with you. I just think Ino shouldn't play therapist," he said, trying to fix it.

Ino looked at us, shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you two," she said incredulously. "You guys kissed. So what? Suck it up and talk about it, for pete's sake! You're so immature!"

I turned on her. "Immature?! Hey, he's the one who got me drunk and kissed me."

"Oh, very mature," Shikamaru said sarcastically. "Blame it all on me, why don't you?"

"Fine, I will," I said, ready to unload. But Ino, damn her, stepped in again.

"I can't take this anymore!" she screamed. "You both act like you don't care, but you know you do! Shikamaru, go to your room!"

We both looked at her. Then, to my surprise, Shikamaru actually turned and slouched away to the guys' dorm. I was so relieved, I actually sighed. Unfortunately, Ino then whirled around and started in on me.

"Temari, you know you like him! Everyone knows!"

"What?! What are you talking about? I have no feelings whatsoever for him."

"Oh, come on! We can all see the way you two act when you're together. Ever since the baby thing, you two just got closer and closer."

"Um, as in, we're friends. Well, we were, until this whole thing fucked that up." I turned to go, but Ino grabbed me by the arm and twisted me to face her.

"You're still friends! And you could be more, but you guys won't let that happen because you're bullheaded and blind and can't see what's right in front of you!" Ino said passionately. I looked at her for a moment, then wrenched my arm away and stomped off to the dorms.

Ino followed behind me. "Do you even hear me? Or have you just blocked anything you don't want to hear?" she asked, trotting to keep up with my angry, fast-paced steps. Finally I got sick of it and halted.

"You know what?" I said, getting in Ino's face. "I'm willing to bet you orchestrated the whole thing, just so you could play matchmaker and have your fun! You want the truth? Here it is. Shikamaru kissed _me._ I kissed him back, but it was just the heat of the moment, okay? So stop dreaming about hooking us up, because it's not happening!" I strode off, leaving Ino gaping behind me.

I didn't know exactly where I was going, but I knew I had to get out of there.

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**A/N: Like I said, unbelievable short, I know. I'm sorry! I'll update soon. I meant to make it longer, but you lovelies want MORE so I just posted it like this. Oh well, it's just a minor inconvenience. Love you guys! You're sexy! So review, you sexy beasts!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I can't believe that this is chapter ten! Can you believe it? I can't! But Naruto can believe it ("Believe it!") Sorry. Couldn't help myself. XD Okay, so this chapter is what you've all been waiting for: Shikamaru and Temari have to talk to each other because Ino said so! le-Gasp! Who knows what might happen? I do, because I wrote it:P**

**I'm sorry you guys, I'm feeling really hyper and happy right now. And you're all sexy, sexy beasts for not condemning my sucky kissing scene to hell. Now, I'll shut up so you can read this chapter in peace.**

**Disclaimer: The manga/anime Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, blah blah blah. **

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"Shikamaru, go to your room!" Ino yelled at me. I knew I couldn't win if I was in a fight with _both_ of them, so I did as she said and went back to my room. Hopefully Ino would calm down, Temari would stop looking daggers at me, and the whole thing would blow over.

Yeah, right. Who was I kidding? I knew both of them too well, even Temari. I knew that Ino was going to want us to talk it out, and Temari was going to want to wring my neck. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and wake up to find out that it was all a bad dream.

Thankfully, my room was empty. I wasn't up to dealing with Sasuke right now. He was almost worse than the girls. Considering.

Anyway, I kind of lazed around for a while, napping a little here, watching videos on YouTube a little there. I was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, bored out of my _mind_ when Chouji walked in.

"I heard what happened," he said. "But I want to know the real story. From the source. As in, you."

I heaved a giant sigh. "Chouji, is now really the best time?" I asked him, rolling my eyes. "I'm not really up to talking."

"I want to know the truth, instead of just hearsay." How could I resist that? He didn't believe the gossip girls. And boys. Whatever.

"Okay. Here's what happened," I said, taking a deep breath. "Someone spiked the punch at Ino's thing..."

"Yeah, they got that part right," Chouji affirmed.

"And so me and Temari got drunk..."

"That part too."

"And..." I didn't feel like telling anyone, but Chouji deserved to know.

"And?" he asked, leaning forward.

"And we kinda sorta ended up making out in the gardens," I muttered incoherently.

"What?" Chouji asked, not hearing what I said.

"I kissed Temari, okay?"

"Holy crap!" he exclaimed. "No wonder you're hiding up here. She's probably thirsting for blood."

"Um...it's not exactly..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she kissed me back," I said reluctantly, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks from thinking about it.

"Oh. Well, it's not as bad." Chouji dismissed my embarrassment and sat back.

"Not as bad?" I said. "Chouji, do you realize that this is Temari we're talking about? I think she's as embarrassed as I am about this whole thing, and embarrassment just makes her meaner, if that's at all possible."

"Do _you_ realize that as of now, most of the guys at this school are lime green with envy?" Chouji shot back.

"Envy? Why?" I asked, making a face.

"Why? What do you mean, why? You swapped spit with Temari, dude!" Chouji was astonished at my stupidity, I suppose, because he said, "Fine, I'll spell it out for you. Almost every boy at this school has been lusting after her since she got here. And Shikamaru, you're the one guy who never even tried to come on to her, but you did what they've wanted to do for months now! Get it?"

"I...guess so," I said. "But how is this helping _my_ issue? As in, Temari's trying to kill me!"

Chouji sighed. "It's because she actually cares, Shikamaru," he said patiently, like I was mental or something.

"Sure, Chouji," I said sarcastically. "She cares about me. That totally explains why she keeps giving me death glares."

"I thought you were supposed to be smart," Chouji said. "Can you really not see what's right under your nose?"

"You sound just like Ino," I muttered. "Look, she doesn't like me and I don't like her, not in that way."

"You lie!" Chouji shouted, jumping up. I flinched, startled. "I'm not stupid, you know. You can't hide it from me. I know you too well, Shikamaru!" Chouji said, glaring at me. "Now 'fess up. You know you like her."

"I don't." I refused. My feelings were none of his business, and he couldn't tell me whether I liked someone or not. I would know if I liked someone, right?

Chouji stared at me in disbelief. "You are so stubborn, you know that? And you're going to end up losing Temari to some other guy because your pride won't let you admit to yourself that you have feelings for her." He turned, shaking his head sadly, and left.

"Can't lose what you never had," I mumbled.

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Not long afterwards, Ino came up.

"Shikamaru, we need to talk," she said firmly, sitting down across from me.

"If you came to tell me that I'm in love with Temari and that I'm basically an asshole for not saying it, then don't bother. Chouji beat you to it."

"Well, actually, that isn't what I was going to say."

"Oh," I said, feeling stupid. "Then what do you want to tell me?"

"First of all, I wanted to apologize for earlier," she said. "I know I was being kind of bitchy."

"Kind of?"

"Hey, I'm apologizing, aren't I?" she said. "The only reason I was acting that way is because I'm so sick of you and Temari pretending there's nothing between you."

"But there isn't," I protested.

"See? There you go again!" Ino said, throwing her hands up. "You guys were getting along so well, and who knows what you could end up being? But as soon as a little alchohol speeds up the process, you guys get all defensive and act like you did when you first met. You both need to grow up and accept the fact that life gives you lemons."

"Um, which kind of lemons do you mean?" I asked cautiously.

"That's not the point!" she scolded. "The point is, you and Temari have got to stop acting like you want nothing to do with each other. Anyone with half a brain can see that you want the exact opposite. And they do. Trust me, they do."

I sighed. "Ino, you don't--"

"And I already talked to Temari," she interrupted me. "But if you want to see how she feels about it, you need to talk to her."

"I don't want to talk to her."

"I don't care, you're going to talk to her!" Ino demanded. Sometimes, being friends with Ino made it seem like I had a second mother. Then again, so did being friends with Temari.

I didn't move. Ino glared at me, and then yelled, "Right now!" I pulled my tired carcass up off the floor and moved as slowly as humanly possible towards the door. Ino watched me for a minute, then got fed up and shoved me out of the room, closing the door behind us.

"Ino, what the hell?!" I exclaimed, nearly falling. "I was going."

"Not fast enough," she retorted.

"Now I've got whiplash, you evil--"

"Yes?" Ino said, glaring at me.

"Nothing," I mumbled, rubbing my neck.

"Alright then. Let's go." I stood there with my arms crossed. "Shikamaru, don't make me get violent," Ino warned me. I didn't budge. She grabbed my arm and pulled. No use. She got behind me and pushed me, to no avail. I wasn't moving.

"God, you're heavy," she groaned. Eventually she stopped trying and stood in front of me, scrutinizing me with those big blue eyes of hers.

"Shikamaru, it's going to happen sooner or later," she informed me. "Don't you just want to get it over with so all of us can get on with our lives?"

"Not really," I replied, receiving a smack on the head for it.

"Well, I know best," Ino grunted, throwing her whole weight into getting me to move, (which wasn't much), "so you're going to talk this out, whether you like it or not." Finally I sighed, rolling my eyes, and let her push/pull me down the hallway to the elevator.

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"Now," Ino said, straightening my clothes, "you're going to go in there and have a nice long conversation with our friend Temari. Got it?"

We were standing outside the very gardens where the whole affair was carried out. It was the _last_ place I wanted to be.

"Why does it have to be _here_?" I groaned, my shoulders slumping even more than they usually did.

"Because that's where Temari went after she yelled at me. And that's where she's stayed. So you're going to go talk this whole thing out." With that, Ino shoved me into the gardens.

"And you better do what I'm telling you, because if you don't I'll get you. Remember, I _always_ find out. Always," she warned me.

With one last look backwards (because I had no idea whether I was going to escape alive), I stepped into the gardens.

Walking around a bit, I passed by the fountain that we fell in. I thought maybe Temari would be there, but she wasn't. Looking around a little more, I found her sitting under a tree a few yards away, pulling up grass with one hand and tapping on her knee with the other. When she saw me, she glared at me and stopped tapping.

"Don't bother trying to talk to me, because no matter what Ino says I'm not speaking to you," she said harshly.

I sighed. This wasn't going to be an easy battle. "Fine, you don't have to talk to me, but just listen." I took a deep breath. "I...I'm sorry."

That got her attention. Temari looked up, astonished. "What did you say?" she asked, looking stunned.

"I said, I'm sorry. The whole thing was my fault. Even though I was drunk, I shouldn't have come on to you like that without your consent." I hoped I didn't sound like I was reading from a script, because I had basically composed that apology in my head at the last second.

"But...why?" Temari questioned, looking bewildered.

"Why what?"

"Why did you apologize and take all the blame yourself? Wait a minute...did Ino tell you to say that?" she said, her tone changing from confused to angry.

"No, no," I said, trying to keep her from getting more pissed than she already was. "I'm doing this on my own. I'm sorry."

Temari studied me silently, trying to decide whether I was telling the truth or not. After what seemed like forever, with me trying not to look like I was lying (because I actually wasn't), she finally let out a short, bittersweet chuckle.

"I don't know whether I want to hug you or throttle you," she said, shaking her head. "I feel really stupid right now."

"Why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because, as much as I hate to admit it, you were the bigger person and you approached me while I was still sulking like a little kid. I have to give you props on that." Sighing, she stood up, dusting off her backside, and started walking away towards the entrance. I was stunned. Was that all she had to say?

She looked back at me, and seeing me gaping at her, she said, "What? Aren't you coming?"

"Um...was that all you had to say to me? That I was the bigger person?"

"Not really," she admitted reluctantly, coming back to where I was and standing next to me. "I should apologize too. I mean, I _was_ pretty bad this morning."

Satisfied, I headed towards the entrance, Temari walking beside me. "Remember what I said this morning?" she asked me. I nodded. "Well...you're really not _that_ bad of a kisser." I looked down at her in surprise, but she was looking straight ahead, almost like she was talking to herself. "Better than most, actually." Finally she looked up at me, amused at my expression. "What?"

"So...you're saying that you _did _like me kissing you?" I inquired. I had to know. I couldn't help it. I mean, wouldn't you want to know if someone liked your kissing?

"Hey, I'm not saying anything," she responded, holding her hands up in front of her. "You can assume whatever you want, but I'm not saying anything."

I looked back at her, interested. "So if I assume that you would, say, want to kiss me again," I said with an indifferent shrug, "what would you say to that?"

"I would say that you can assume whatever you want. I can't very well make you _not_ assume it, can I?" she said, a hint of teasing in her voice.

"No. You can't," I replied, grinning. Suddenly I stepped in front of her, grabbing her round the waist and pulling her close to me. I held my face inches away from hers, looking into her eyes. "So if, perchance, I did something like this," I said in a low voice, "what would you say then?"

Temari was taken aback for a second (heck, I even surprised myself), then quickly composed herself. "I'd say that Ino's right behind you," she smirked. Confused, I looked over my shoulder to see Ino looking with wide-eyed excitement at the two of us. I realized that we were at the entrance to the gardens. I hadn't even noticed.

Ino looked like a little blonde teapot. I could see her building up with the steam of everything she wanted to say. I thought she was going to explode. And explode she did.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" she bursted, jumping up and down. "I can't believe you guys didn't kill each other!" She ran over to us, hugging first me, then Temari. "I'm so glad you two made up! Now we can all be friends again!"

"Yeah, sure," Temari said. "Now calm down, before you blow a fuse."

"_Please_," I said, rolling my eyes. "I don't know if I can take this much longer. It's not that big of a deal." We started walking to the rooms.

"Not that big of a deal?!" Ino yelled, her eyes wide. "Shikamaru, I had to push you out of the hallway because you refused to go see her!"

Temari laughed, which turned out to be her downfall, because Ino promptly turned on her and said, "You should be the last one to laugh at him. You were too scared to even talk to him!" Temari immediately stopped laughing.

"You were scared?" I inquired, grinning.

She huffed. "Please. I wasn't scared."

"Sure. Whatever you say," I laughed.

"I bet you were absolutely terrified!" she said, glaring at me. "So don't you get all self-righteous on me, Mr. I'm-not-going-to-see-her!"

"What happened to giving me props for being the bigger person?"

"Your props just expired."

Ino went 'mom' on us again and said, "Don't you dare start arguing again, you two! We just sorted out one thing, you want to start another?"

By now we were at the girls' dorm. "Temari, you go ahead," Ino said, waving her off. "I'm going to walk Shikamaru to his room."

Temari bounced up the stairs to the porch and opened the door. Looking back, she smirked mischievously at me before slipping into the house. It happened so fast, I almost thought I imagined it. Almost.

As we headed to my dorm, Ino was talking really fast about nothing in particular. Basically she was saying that she was right all along for introducing us.

"Oh, before I forget," she said, intrigued, as we parted at the door, "where did that little move you did come from?"

"What?"

"You know, when you were pressing up against Temari and looking deep into her eyes and stuff," Ino said, pretending to swoon.

I chuckled. "I don't know. It just kind of...happened," I said.

"I had no idea you were so romantic and...and...spur-of-the-moment!" Ino exclaimed, beaming.

"Neither did I," I laughed, stepping in and closing the door behind me.

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Later, when I was checking my messages on the computer (which was pretty much pointless because hardly anyone but Ino ever emailed me, and I hardly ever replied), I saw an email from someone new. Opening it, I saw that it said:

shikamaru,

better tell your girlfriend to watch her back, and stay away from Ino. otherwise the cat's out of the bag, if you get what I'm saying.

It was signed "A Concerned Classmate." I made a disgusted face. Who would write something like that?

I hit the Reply button and wrote:

last time I checked I was single. so who's this 'girlfriend' you're talking about? and why are you emailing me? I don't even know you. so unless you're going to explain yourself, stop sending me messages.

I sent the message and waited. The original email had been sent to me a couple of minutes ago, so I was willing to bet that the person was still online. Sure enough, not long after a notice popped up on the screen telling me I had a new message.

Going to my inbox, I saw that it was indeed from the mystery stranger. It read:

Temari, of course. you think i don't know all about you two? and anyway, you do know me.

I puzzled over that for a few moments. I wasn't really surprised by the first part; after all, most everyone probably knew about the drunken misadventure. It was the second part that I was worried by. I knew the person. But who could it be? Replying again, I said:

she isn't my girlfriend. and if i know you then prove it. who are you?

The person's reply said:

she may not be your girlfriend, but i know you guys have something private going on. and do you think i'm that stupid to tell you who i am? get real.

I sat there thinking for a while. Whoever it was, he or she was convinced that Temari and I were _way_ more than friends. I frowned. I _still_ couldn't figure out who it was, though. I needed more information, but not tonight. Right then I was just too tired.

I logged out of the computer and undressed for bed, slipping under the sheets. I would tell Temari about the emails. Maybe she could shed some light on it.

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**A/N: Ohmahgosh, Shikamaru being spontaneous? It was a little OOC, I know, but it was cute, was it not? I'm so glad they're not leaping for each other's throats. And who's this mystery person who has a mystery secret to tell (even though the secret doesn't exist, but the person thinks it does)? Most of you can probably guess, but for those of you who don't remember a certain conversation back in chapter 7 (hint hint), I won't tell. What will happen next? I have no idea! I swear, I don't plan this out at all. I just type whatever pops into my head. Well, it seems to be working, so I'll keep writing spontaneously :)**

**Thank you guys for all the reviews and favorite stories and story alerts and favorite authors! Remember, reviewing my story has been scientifically proven to lower your risk of heart disease. And you all need your hearts, because I love you so much and you need a place to store up all my love. 3 3 3**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Ohmahgosh, hi you guys! I am soooooo sorry I haven't updated sooner. I finished this chapter last week, but then I kinda sorta maybe got into some trouble involving fanfictions of the yaoi genre (oooooh). To make a long story short, my parents found them. I know, it's horrible, right? Every perverted teen's nightmare. In my defense, my friend had sent them to me. I eventually convinced the parental units that I wasn't a flaming ball of hormonal whoredom, but I'm still grounded til kingdom come. No phone, no social gatherings, and I only get Internet when my homework's all done, and even then I have to have "censorship" (dun dun dunnnnnnn). So...that's why I haven't been on in forever. But here's a new chapter for ya, so you can't hate me, even if you wanted to. It's impossible. I'm magical, that's why. XD Alright, enough ranting. Read, people.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and all affiliated characters, etc. belong to Masashi Kishimoto, who can kiss my lovely tanned bottom because he got to it before I did.**

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T

The next morning, Ino and I were picking up Shikamaru on our way to class. He came out of the door, said 'good morning', and passed me a sheet of paper. I raised an eyebrow, puzzled, but he just looked at me. I glanced down at the paper, scanning over it. Once I saw that it had my name on it, I read it again, paying attention to every word.

"Shikamaru, what's this?" I asked. I was confused. Why would someone write this about me? And to Shikamaru, no less?

"Someone emailed me last night. Figured you should see it. Maybe you know who it is." He shrugged. "They said I know them but they didn't give anything else away."

By now we had caught Ino's attention and she peered over my shoulder, trying to read it. "But...why would they want Temari to stay away from me?" she asked, bewildered.

"I don't know," I said, frowning, "but I'm going to figure it out. Did they say anything else besides what you printed out?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "Nope. Those are all the emails we exchanged."

We all thought for a while over who it could be. Then I remembered something I had forgotten to ask Ino.

"Ino, have you heard any rumors about Shikamaru and me? I mean, like, are people saying that we're...um...doing things? Together?" I queried.

"Oh, you mean sex?" Ino said a little too loudly. Both Shikamaru and I cringed. The word in relation to us seemed...weird. "Well..." Ino began, not really wanting to continue.

"Ino, you've got to tell us," I told her. "It could help us figure out who this hater is."

"Um...well...I've heard people saying that you two are in love--no surprise there--and then some people are saying you guys are just fuck buddies, and then some say that Shikamaru's just in it because he's a masochist, and then some say you're just screwing him because you're a glutton for punishment--"

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" Shikamaru demanded, insulted.

"Hey, I don't make the rumors, okay?" Ino said defensively. "Anyway, and then _other_ people say that--"

"Alright, I've heard enough," I said, utterly disgusted. What kind of perverts _were_ these people? I mean, it seemed like all they cared about was making up stories about me and Shikamaru's sex life. Not that we _had _a sex life, of course...I had to stop thinking about it, because I could feel the back of my neck beginnning to burn. _What the hell, Temari?_ I asked myself. _You don't blush! What has this place done to you?_

"Well, I've got an idea of who it could be," I said. "I remember a conversation I had with her last week or so."

Ino leaned forward. "Who, who, who?!" she asked rapidly. Shikamaru leaned forward too, wanting to know as much as Ino did.

"TenTen," I said flatly. There was dead silence. Ino stared blankly at me, and Shikamaru looked befuddled.

"Um... are you sure?" Ino asked warily. "I mean, she's always been nice to you, and as long as we've been friends she's never done anything like this."

"Yeah," Shikamaru agreed. "It doesn't seem like her at all."

"Well, maybe hatred brings out the real TenTen, because she sure as hell hates my guts," I said, annoyed that they didn't believe me. "And as for being nice to me, didn't you see how she looked around me? Whenever I was around, she looked strained, like it was hard for her to be a decent human being to me. Especially when I was talking to you, Ino, she looked positively green." The two of them still looked leery, so I told them about the conversation I had with TenTen the week before.

Afterwards, Ino said, "Wow...and you're sure it was TenTen you were talking to?"

"I'm not blind, you know." This was getting old. Didn't they get it the first time I told them?

"This is deep, deep shit." This was from Shikamaru, who was standing with his hands in his pockets and looking troubled. "How are we supposed to keep TenTen from spreading all this garbage about us?"

"Well, she told you to tell me to stay away from Ino..." I trailed off, thinking.

"But what do I have to do with all of this?" Ino wailed. "She can't possibly expect me to just stop being friends with you!"

"And what's _really_ stupid," Shikamaru said, laughing, "is that you're her roommate. It's virtually impossible to stay away from her."

"Not the point, Shikamaru!" I snapped. "The point is, there is something seriously wrong with this TenTen chick."

"I mean, is she jealous or something?" Ino moaned, still thinking about what part she played in this whole thing.

"Maybe she's a lesbian," Shikamaru suggested. "It would make sense that she's jealous of Temari being with you all the time, because maybe she's secretly had a crush on you since you met."

Ino and I just stared at Shikamaru. "I think you've been reading too many anime fanfictions," Ino said, looking worried. "You should stop. They're addicting, you know." Shikamaru rolled his eyes, and I stepped in to get them both back on topic again.

"Come on, you guys," I said, "do you have any _rational _reasons she might hate me?"

Shikamaru raised his hand. "Mine's rational," he said.

I slapped his hand down. "No it isn't," I said. "If TenTen hasn't given any sign of crushing on Ino before, why would it show up now? Give it a rest, Shikamaru."

By now we were at the door of the classroom. "This girl's got a problem with me," I said, squaring my shoulders and jutting out my chin. "And I aim to find out what it is." Ino and Shikamaru close behind me, I barged into the room, the door slamming against the wall. Everyone looked up, startled by the sound. I walked over to my desk, threw my stuff down, then strode up to where TenTen was standing with a couple other people. I could see in her eyes that she knew why I was there.

But she still tried to act innocent in front of her cronies. "Oh, good morning, Temari," she said, giving me a phony smile. "Is there something wrong?"

"You bet your sweet ass there's something wrong," I growled. "I saw the email you sent to Shikamaru last night. You care to explain it to me?"

"Email?" she asked, making her brown eyes big. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, don't bullshit me," I said, putting my hands on my hips. "You know you wrote it. So just explain it. Now."

She tried to keep up her facade, but after a while it just kind of melted off and left the real TenTen standing in its place.

"Alright, fine," she said, getting down to business. "Yeah, I sent the email. I can see you aren't doing what I told you." She jerked her head in Shikamaru's direction. "Didn't he tell you what could happen?"

"What, you'll spread a few rumors about me? So original," I said, laughing harshly. "Obviously, you haven't talked to my brothers, or me for that matter. If you had, you'd know that I'm experienced in the art of getting talked about. You really think you've got something I haven't heard or seen before? Don't fool yourself. It won't hurt me. You'll just feel like an idiot for even trying."

TenTen smirked. "No wonder you don't get it. You_ are_ from Suna, after all." That little snide remark in itself was enough to make me go at her, but she took it a step further and said, "Down there you guys just butt heads, right? Maybe that's why you don't need brains."

She looked smug. I counted to ten and exhaled slowly. Finally I said, "If anyone's a savage here, it's you. After all, you actually _invented_ the rumors about Shikamaru and me having sex. You're such a perv," I said, shaking my head in mock disgust. "I bet you were imagining it, too. Sicko."

TenTen scowled at me. "Look, what do you want from me? I've laid down my demands. That's all there is to it."

"Oh, I don't think so. There's so much more," I replied. "For example, why did you send the email to Shikamaru in the first place? Why do you want me to stay away from Ino? And why do you hate me enough to do this kind of shit? I mean, I don't even talk to you." I crossed my arms, waiting for a response.

"And do you really have the hots for Ino?" Shikamaru piped up from behind me. I glared at him with as lethal a look as I could muster. He immediately shut up and stepped back.

"Okay. You really want to know?" TenTen began. "Here it is. I don't really hate you all that much. It's just that..." Her face softened for a second, and in that moment I almost felt bad for her. But then she caught herself and hardened back up. "You know what? I don't have to answer to you," she growled. "Why should I tell you anything?"

"Why?" I asked, incredulous. "_Why_?! You're spreading shit about me all over the school, all over the _country_ for all I know, and you want to know why you should explain yourself to me? This whole thing is basically about you and me, and since I don't know what's going on in your head, you need to clue me in," I demanded.

"Don't play stupid!" she yelled. "As if you didn't know!" I shrugged as if to say, No, I don't know, so tell me. TenTen seethed for a moment, her face turning deeper and deeper shades of red until it was purple. Then she took a big breath, and her color went back to normal, more or less.

By now we were all waiting to see what she had to say. "Alright. You want to know why I sent to the note to Shikamaru," TenTen began, sounding forced. I nodded impatiently. "Well, that was the quickest way I could think of to get the message to you without actually having to talk to you. You want to know why I hate you. It kind of ties into the whole Ino thing..." She stopped, looking at our faces. I knew I looked mean. I always did. Shikamaru was probably trying to look bored, and if I knew Ino as well as I knew Ino, she was probably on the edge of her proverbial seat with curiosity.

"Okay. Ever since you got here, you and Ino have been as thick as thieves."

"So?" I asked, not seeing the problem. I had made a friend. It was weird, I'll admit, but no reason to hate me.

"You don't get it!" TenTen said, furious. "Just listen. Before you arrived from Suna, _I_ was Ino's best friend. Get it? _I_ was the one who went to the pool with her. _I_ was the one who shared all her crazy plans. _I_ was the one she talked to and hung around twenty-four seven, understand? And then _you_ had to go and ruin everything!" she said passionately, her face contorting.

I felt a small pang of conscience. I had taken TenTen's best friend. No wonder she didn't like me.

But then I thought about how I didn't even want to be Ino's friend at first, and how it was Ino's choice who got to be her best friend. And the guilt went away as quickly as it came.

"TenTen, you're the one who doesn't get it," I said. "It's Ino's choice! You can't force her to be your best friend forever if she doesn't want to! I mean, I hated Ino at the beginning of the year." I heard Ino gasp melodramatically behind me, but I continued. "It isn't my fault that she super-glued herself to me and determined to annoy me wherever I went. I just got used to her."

TenTen refused to believe that it was anyone's fault but mine. "No, Ino wouldn't be friends with you on her own," she said. "We were happy the way things were."

"TenTen, listen to me," Ino pleaded, stepping forward. "I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just..."

"Just what?" she said, looking angry and hurt. "Just that Temari is cooler and prettier and all around better than me? Is that what you were going to say?" I was shocked. Why would she think that? I wasn't any of those things. I acted like it, of course, but that didn't mean anything.

"No, I'd never say that!" Ino told her. "TenTen, don't you understand that I can have more than one best friend? I never told you that I hated you or anything! I just started hanging out with Temari more because she's my roommate, and she's a good friend. Like you. Like all of my other friends! There's room for more than one friend in my heart, TenTen. I've got enough love to go around."

"No," TenTen said doubtfully. "You can only have one _best_ friend. It's either me or her, Ino." She tried to sound tough, but I could almost see her defenses breaking down.

"I can't believe you'd say that," Ino said miserably. "It just isn't fair for you to make me choose between two of my best friends in the whole world. Don't do this to me, TenTen. Just let it go, and we can be friends again. Like before."

"It won't be like before. It won't ever be like before!" I could see TenTen fighting back tears.

"TenTen," I said, in what I hoped to be a soothing voice, "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I'm sorry if Ino hurt you. But you can't stay angry and bitter forever. It'll just keep backfiring and making you more and more unhappy. Trust me. I know."

She looked away, her eyebrows furrowing. "I don't know..." she said indecisively.

"Look, you _know_ you don't want things to end like this," I told her. "Look, if I can let down my defenses and be open minded, so can you. We can get over our differences and be friends, but only if you let it happen. So what's it going to be?"

There was a long pause while TenTen looked torn between accepting or walking out. "I...I think..." she began slowly. "I think that maybe we could be okay with each other." This last part was said so quietly I barely heard her.

"What?" Ino said, not hearing what she said.

"I _said_," TenTen said louder, "that I think I might be able to put up with Temari. Just for a little while." She looked at me, and I looked at her, and finally she smiled. I was so relieved, I didn't know what to do. For a minute there I thought I was going to have to bitch-slap her.

Ino jumped on both of us and pulled us into a group hug. Shikamaru stood off to the side until she yanked him in too. It was really nice, with Ino squeezing my left side, Shikamaru squishing my right, and a new friend right across from me.

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**A/N: So, enjoy it? I originally wasn't going to make them friends, but someone (you know who you are, and thanks for the idea ) assumed that they were going to be friends, so I was like, "Hey, why not?" **

**Next chapter...I'm not exactly sure what's going to happen. Probably a huge time lapse, because if I don't do that this story will go on forever. And you all will eventually get bored of me. Okay, that's kind of depressing, so I'm moving on to my usual goodbye: I love you guys from my hair follicles to my toenails. If you love me back, you'll tell me. Because that's what real love is all about.**

**I should be Oprah. Ell-oh-ell.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I feel so bad about not updating in an eternity. I've had this chapter written for almost what, two weeks now? I've been trying to re-establish the "trust factor" with the parental units, so that means no sneaking on the computer for me. But finally, I got a few minutes of unsupervised Internet time, so here I am! Enjoy the chappie, people. **

**Disclaimer: The manga/anime Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. .**

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I hate the holidays.

No, really. They're a waste of time and energy. 

_Well, at least Ino enjoys Christmas,_ I thought, as I walked to class that early December morning. Personally, I wasn't into the commercialized gift-buying frenzy that went on this time of year. Everyone got so caught up in the presents. But hey, whatever floats Ino's boat.

I had almost made it to class unnoticed when I was ambushed. Someone tackled me from behind and almost knocked me over. I managed to stay on my feet, but I dropped all my stuff in the process. Annoyed, I turned around, ready to yell at the person (well, I didn't exactly yell, but you know what I mean), but I stopped when I saw that it was Temari. 

"Surprised?" she said, grinning at my expression.

"Um...I thought you were Ino." I was confused. Temari didn't jump on people unless she intended to kill them, which I hoped wasn't the case.

"Well, I'm not," she said flippantly, bending down and helping me pick up my stuff. "Can't I attack people without being accused of impersonating Ino?"

"Sure, I guess," I replied. "But it's just not something Temari does."

"Oh, so you think you know me well enough to correct my behaviour? Aren't you precocious." That was more like it. Finally, the sarcasm I had come to know and love. Okay, maybe not _love_, but I was used to it.

"Well, you're not acting like yourself today," I observed, taking my books from Temari. "For one thing, the ambush--"

"Which you said yourself I can do without being Ino--" she interrupted.

"_And_ you helped me pick up my crap," I continued. "That's definitely different."

"Maybe _I'm_ different," she said, smiling enigmatically. I gave her a look that said I thought she belonged in the looney bin, and she just laughed.

"Can't you feel Christmas in the air?" she asked me, twirling around with her arms outstretched, a wide smile on her face. Temari stopped and almost fell over, leaning on me for support in her dizzy state. I got a good look at her for the first time that day as she smiled up at me. The biting cold air had turned her cheeks and nose a rosy red. Her teal eyes were bright with excitement, and her breath smelled of peppermints. She even had on a red-and-green striped scarf. 

Temari caught me staring with a weird look on my face. "What?" she asked.

"Who are you, and what have you done with Temari?"

"What are you _talking_ about?" she said, crinkling her nose.

"I'm calling Paranormal Investigators," I replied, shrugging her off my shoulder. "I think we have a genuine case of 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' here."

Temari rolled her eyes. "Shikamaru, you dork, what do you mean? It's me."

"No, it isn't."

"Oh, so now I can't be cheerful without you threatening to sic some Sci-Fi Channel frauds on me?" she said, a hint of anger in her voice. Anger was good. Anger, I could deal with. This new happy hyper Temari was something I _couldn't_ deal with.

"Maybe Ino's contagious," I offered. "That would make sense."

"It makes sense that I can be happy on my own!" she exclaimed. "Look, now you're chasing my happy away." We started off walking to class.

"Your _happy_?" I asked sardonically. "I didn't think you knew how to be happy."

"Kiss my ass."

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't know where it's been." I laughed.

"I think you do, Shikamaru," Temari said, rubbing her shoulder against mine as we walked side by side.

"Oh, do I, now?" I smirked, eyebrows raised.

"You sure do."

"Hm."

"'Hm'? What's that supposed to mean?" she mocked me, grinning.

"Nothing. Just..."

"Just what?"

"Just that...never mind." I shook my head and smiled.

"What is it?"

"Well, I don't know where you went after you left my room last night." Temari huffed and shoved me, pretending to be offended. It wasn't a very hard shove, so I stayed on my feet. "So technically, there's no way of knowing whether you're clean or not," I continued, bumping my hip against hers. 

She bumped me back. "You're sick, you know that?"

"You started it." I kept the hip bump going, and we walked like that all the way to class.

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It wasn't until after class that I noticed someone was missing.

"Temari, where's Ino?" I asked, looking around.

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" she said. "Ino's got the flu."

"What!" I exclaimed, shocked.

"Yeah. She's in the infirmary."

"When did all this happen?" 

"Just last night. Ino got really sick on me all of a sudden, so I took her to the infirmary." Temari leaned back in her seat, sucking on a striped candy cane.

"How are you so calm? Aren't you worried at all?" I asked, appalled at her noncaring appearance.

"Ah, Ino's a tough cookie," she replied, grinning around the candy cane. "She'll do just fine."

I was about to ask more when TenTen trotted up to us. In the past few weeks, she and Temari had become pretty good friends. TenTen had even taken back all the rumors she spread and fixed it with good ones. There were still the occasional gossipers who considered me and Temari to be romantically involved, but it was better than before.

"Temari!" TenTen called, sitting down next to us, panting for breath.

"What's wrong?" Temari sat up.

"Haven't you heard yet? Kankurou's in trouble!" At hearing this news, Temari's eyes got big, and she sucked in a breath.

"What did he do?" she asked in a low, worried voice, sounding as if the world had ended.

"He got caught with a porno mag."

There was silence. 

Then Temari laughed. It started out low, and then escalated into full-blown hysterical laughter. TenTen and I looked at Temari, then at each other. She was laughing like a crazy person.

"Um, Temari?" TenTen asked, looking concerned. "Are you okay?"

Temari was doubled over now, holding her stomach, tears running down her face. I had never seen Temari laugh this much. It was scary. 

"I'm...fine," she gasped, trying to catch her breath, still giggling. "It's just that...I thought...he did something...worse."

"Like what?" I asked, not knowing what could be more humiliating than getting caught with porn.

"Nothing." Temari finally wiped her face, smoothed her hair (which didn't help much, considering its spiky condition), and sat up straight in her chair. "Well, tell me more. Who caught him?"

"Kakashi-sensei."

Temari let out a breath in relief. "Oh, him? Shouldn't be a problem then. I mean, Kakashi's always reading his own porn. It would be hypocritical of him to get Kankurou in trouble."

"Well..." TenTen trailed off, looking uncomfortable. I had a feeling she was about to relay some bad news. "Kakashi wasn't alone."

"What?"

"Tsunade was with him."

"_Shit!_" Temari cursed explosively. A few people turned around and stared, but I waved them off. "So what's his punishment, then?"

"That...I don't know. I'm pretty sure they're going to get in contact with your dad, though."

Temari moaned and slid down in her chair, holding her head with both hands and squeezing her eyes shut. "Dammit, Kankurou, _why_ do you have to do this crap to me?" she muttered to herself.

I felt I should offer some help, so I said, "Well, at least he didn't kill someone." 

Temari opened her eyes and looked at me like _I_ was the crazy one. "Obviously, you've never met my father," she said. "This is just as bad, if not _worse_, than him killing someone. At least when you kill someone, it isn't embarassing."

I raised an eyebrow. I wasn't sure whether Temari was joking about killing people or not. Anyway, she got up from her chair and started for the door with purpose in her step. TenTen and I followed.

"What are you going to do?" TenTen asked her.

"Talk to Kankurou, get the whole story, punch him around a little for being stupid, and then try to figure out how to save our asses from the wrath of my father," Temari said, pushing the door open and walking with quick strides towards Kankurou's next class.

When we got there, Kankurou was just walking in the door. He was halfway in when Temari snatched him back out by the collar of his shirt.

"Whoa, what the--" He stopped when he saw Temari glaring at him. "So you heard?" he said, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah. Kankurou, what the hell do you think you're doing, having a porno here at school?" Temari yelled, jerking him by the shirt.

"Um, Temari, he's a teenage guy," I piped up. "Most teenage guys _do_ look at porn at some time or another."

Temari rolled her eyes at me. "You moron, I'm not mad at him for _looking_ at it," she said. "I'm mad because he did it _here_, at _school_, and got caught!" I decided that was enough input for the time being and shut up.

She turned back to her brother. "Explain yourself."

Kankurou sighed. "Look, it wasn't even mine," he defended himself. "It was some other guy's mag. No one told me the teachers were walking around the dorm. I was just reading it when they walked in. That's how it happened."

"Is that your final answer?" Temari asked warningly.

"Yeah."

She scrutinized him for a minute, then suddenly let go of his shirt and pushed him away at the same time, sending him reeling backwards. 

Temari sighed. "Alright. So. The only thing I want to know is whether they're going to tell Daddy Dearest." Of course, the last part was oozing sarcasm.

"I don't know," Kankurou replied. "They haven't told me anything, and I haven't really read the student handbook, so I don't know what the consequences are for having porn."

TenTen chipped in, "Well, there's this parent-day thing coming up soon for parents who want to visit. They might wait for that and talk to your dad there."

Temari scoffed. "Please. He never goes to those things."

"You never know, Temari," I said. "He might decide he misses you guys."

The two siblings gaped at me for a long silent moment, then bursted out laughing. After a few seconds of listening to their guffaws, I started feeling a little stupid. What did I say?

"Shikamaru, you're so naive, you know?" Kankurou said, holding his stomach and chuckling. "Him? Miss us? Now _that's_ funny."

"Yeah," Temari agreed. "He threw us in boarding school for a reason." Remembering that she was supposed to be mad at Kankurou, she smacked him in the head. "And do you remember the conditions, Kankurou?" she asked. "I guess not, since you decided to go ahead and do your own thing anyway! He dropped us off here because we were getting in trouble, so doesn't it make sense to at least _try_ not to get us all suspended!"

"Ow," Kankurou said, rubbing his head. "God, it isn't that big of a deal, Temari. Stop being paranoid about getting suspended. It isn't going to happen."

"Sometimes I wish you'd be more like Gaara. At least he doesn't pull out contraband during school."

"Oh, that's what _you_ think," Kankurou smirked.

"Excuse me?" Temari asked, putting a hand on her hip.

"In case you've forgotten, Gaara's a teenager too. Even _he_ can't resist the call of the porn."

"_What!_"

"Guys, guys!" TenTen stepped in. "This isn't about who did what right now. It's about what's going to happen next. I just hope you're not getting kicked out or something, Kankurou. Last time someone had something like this, he got expelled."

"Well, thanks, TenTen," Kankurou said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "That makes me feel a _lot_ better."

"Hey, don't take that tone with her!" Temari defended TenTen. "It isn't her fault that you were stupid enough to get caught."

"I told you, it wasn't mi--"

"I don't _care_ whose it was, you're the one that got busted! And you know that if you get expelled, Gaara and I are going to have to leave too."

"What? Why?" I asked, feeling a cold shiver go down my spine.

"Whenever we do anything, we do it together," Temari informed me. "Our father isn't going to let Kankurou go alone. We're the Sand Siblings, and we do things as a unit."

"But...but..." I stammered. What was happening to me? I should've been _celebrating_ them leaving. Temari had just complicated my life.

But I knew I was lying to myself. Temari had become more than a complication. More than an acquaintance. More than a friend, even. I didn't dare to think it, but the thought came anyway: Maybe, just maybe, Temari could be a...a...

"What, are you going to miss me?" Temari smirked, interrupting my thoughts before I could think the unthinkable. I was relieved. If I admitted to myself that I had...feelings...for Temari, it would be like saying everything I told myself before was a lie. 

"You wish," I replied, half-heartedly. I wasn't going to say it, but I didn't want her to leave. If she left...well, I didn't know what I would do.

Luckily, TenTen said it for me. "Temari, you _can't_ leave!" she wailed, throwing herself on Temari. "If you go, then...then..."

"Then you'll all go back to how you were before," Temari said with a finality, gently pushing TenTen away. "If you pull any mushy stuff, I swear, I'll kill you."

TenTen still looked teary-eyed, though, and I couldn't blame her. If I was a braver man, I'd tell Temari exactly how I felt and never let her go. But I wasn't a brave man, I was just a high school kid who didn't know the words to make her stay. 

"Temari..." I began, trailing off and shaking my head helplessly when I ran out of words.

"Alright, listen," she said harshly. I could tell she was using it to cover her own despair. "This is how it's going to go. If they call my father, I'll find out, and call him myself to try and convince him that it was all a big mistake. If they wait for him to come to the school, I'm going to need you guys to help me."

We were eager to help. "We'll do anything," TenTen assured her.

"Good," Temari sighed. "Because it's going to take nothing less than a miracle."

"What do we have to do?" I asked, hoping that whatever it was, it would work.

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Later on, after Temari let Kankurou retreat back to class, TenTen and I followed her to the infirmary where Ino was staying.

The nurse came up to us. "Who are you looking for?" she asked kindly.

"Um, we're here to see Yamanaka Ino," Temari answered. 

"Oh, the one with the flu," the nurse answered. "Poor thing...come right this way." We trailed after the nurse, turning down hallways until we got to Ino's door. "Right in here, children," she said, openeing the door. 

We walked in. Ino was lying on the bed, looking expectantly at us. "Well, finally!" she said in a raspy voice, trying to sit up. "I've been waiting forever for _someone_ to come and visit. It's so boring here."

"Ino, you just got here last night," Temari said. 

"Well, it felt like forever," Ino said, dismissing Temari's logic. "So, what's going on?"

Temari went over and sat next to Ino on her bed, taking a deep breath. "Um, Ino, I have to tell you something." 

"Yes?" Ino asked.

"But you've _got_ to promise you won't freak out."

"Okay, okay, I promise," Ino said impatiently. "Now what is it?"

Temari sighed. "Well...my brothers and I might be leaving the school."

Ino's face was blank. Then she broke into an uncertain smile. "Don't screw with my head like that, Temari," she said, laughing nervously. "It isn't funny. Now really, what do you have to tell me?"

"I'm serious, Ino," Temari said pleadingly. "Kankurou got in trouble, and if I can't figure out a way to convince him everything's okay, we're out of here."

Ino's eyes widened. "No," she said. "No way. You can't go! What are we going to do without you!"

"Ino, you guys will be fine without me, I'm sure!" Temari said. "But I don't want to leave. I don't. I've never had so much fun anywhere else, or made so many friends." She looked around at the rest of us, her eyes resting slightly longer on me, then she looked back at Ino. "So I don't want you to panic or get hysterical or anything, okay? I just...I need your help."

"What do I have to do?"

"Okay. I want my father to think that we're doing fine here and we're not having any problems. First I need to find out if they're going to tell him at the parent-day thing TenTen was telling me about. If that's the case, I need you to spread the word that everyone, _everyone_, has to be on their absolute best behavior. No, _more_ than their best. Tell them...tell them not to do anything that Ino wouldn't do. But don't tell them until I find out, okay?" 

"Gotcha." Ino looked determined. 

"There's still a couple of glitches I have to work out, but if this goes according to plan, and everyone's perfect enough, it just might work."

"No one's perfect, Temari," I reminded her.

"I don't care," she said, frowning. "They might not be perfect, but they'd better try. Including you, Shikamaru."

I sighed. I sure didn't want Temari to leave, but this plan was going to suck the life out of me. I told her so, leaving out the part where I didn't want her to leave.

"Well, would you rather that I leave forever? We'll probably never see each other again," she replied, sounding sincere.

"No," I said grudgingly. She _had_ to play that card.

"Good," she said, giving me a purely evil grin. I realized that I played right into her hands and shown her my weakness, and now if I didn't help out, she would keep reminding me. I groaned, wishing that I could just sleep through the whole thing.

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**A/N: Before you all mob me about the time skip, think logically for a second. The first kiss was on Halloween (October 31), everything after that was happening in November, and now we're in early December. So really, it isn't a big skip at all. It just seems like it. You can all put down your torches and pitchforks now. .'**

**Anyway, I think I'm just going to do five more chapters, max. Don't worry, though, I'll find a new story to write, with your help. I guess I'd better start thinking up ideas now, huh? Love you guys! And a happy St. Patty's day to ya!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hi, you guys! First, I want to thank you guys for caring and understanding about the thing with my parents. Just to let you know, things are a lot better now, so I'll probably be updating faster. Also, thanks for the reviews. You might not believe it, but I do take your advice and ideas to heart, and try to make my writing better based on your always great, always constructive criticism. (Thanks for that too.) **

**Anyway, here's chapter 13. Oh my god. I'm kind of doped up right now (stupid spring allergies), so I'm trying to spell right and use good grammar. Usually it isn't a problem for me, but Benadryl does stuff to your brain and impairs your writing skills. I swear, I just had to re-spell "impairs" about five times to get it right. I'll stop typing now, before I hurt myself.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, and Benadryl belongs to...uh...Benadryl?**

I sighed wearily. I always knew Kankurou was a few fries short of a Happy Meal, but this was too much. 

"Let's try this again," I said slowly, looking hard at him. "The plan is that when he comes to the school, you're going to pretend like you didn't do anything. At all."

"But...why?" Kankurou asked.

"Because, oh dear sweet stupid brother of mine, we want him to think everything's okay."

"Why am I supposed to lie, though?" he asked again, aggravating me to no end. "I mean, he's going to find out eventually, right? And then I'm going to get in trouble for lying in the first place."

"Maybe he will, maybe he won't," I replied. "But what happens 'eventually' isn't what we're worried about here. I'm focusing on the near future. And if you don't do exactly what I'm telling you...let's just say your future isn't very bright."

He scoffed. "Please. What are you going to do, send your boyfriend after me? I'm shaking in my boots." I narrowed my eyes, but he kept going. "Anyway, Dad can ruin my life more than you can."

"Wanna bet?" I growled. "A word of advice; you should be more scared of me than of our father. Remember, _he's_ not the one who goes with you everywhere. _I_ am. Trust me, I'll make the rest of your miserable life a living hell. And I won't spare you by killing you outright, oh no, I'll make it long and painful in ways you couldn't imagine." I shook my head in mock sorrow. "I always wanted to be an aunt. Guess I'll have to get nephews and nieces from Gaara now." It took a minute for Kankurou to get it, but when he finally understood what I meant, he went pale. 

"Uh, let's not be so hasty, Temari," he said, backing away from me a bit. "A-all I meant was--"

"Are you going to help yourself by helping me or not, Kankurou?" I asked impatiently, crossing my arms. 

He pouted. "Fine. But when he finds out, don't say I didn't warn you," he cautioned me. 

I paid him no heed and stood up from my spot on his roommate's bed, smoothing out my clothes. "Thanks a bunch, darling little brother," I said sweetly, planting a giant kiss on his forehead. 

Kankurou shrieked and began frantically rubbing the spot. "It burns, it burns!" he wailed. I rolled my eyes and left his room, wondering if my kisses really did burn. If so, Shikamaru was screwed. 

The night before, I had caught him walking alone to his room and grabbed him by the collar, pushing him up against the wall and kissing him with an almost crazed passion. Of course, he was absolutely shocked, and he stared wide-eyed at me as I walked away afterwards.

I didn't care. Now that the chances of me leaving were too big to ignore, I was going to let him know exactly how I felt, once and for all. Not directly, though. Not yet. Even though that kiss _was _pretty direct. Still, I wasn't going to come right out and _tell_ him in no uncertain words that I was falling for him. Oh god, it sounded so cheesy, I actually cringed. But the truth was the truth, and if Shikamaru turned out to be anywhere near as slow as Kankurou, I would have to just go ahead and confess. 

Out loud. To his face. 

I groaned and put my face in my hands, leaning against the outside of the boys' dorm. I didn't think I'd be able to do it. I had done plenty of stupid, gutsy crap before, but for some reason, the thought of coming clean to Shikamaru made my heart pound, my head ache, and my knees turn to rubber. It would be easier if I didn't say anything. I mean, right now we were just friends, but we flirted, just a little bit. I didn't need to tell him.

No. I knew I would have to admit my feelings sooner or later, or I'd explode. And preferably sooner, because if I couldn't persuade my father into keeping me at Honshu Prep, I'd be out of there faster than you could say "get your ass in the car." 

Caught up in my emotional battle, I slumped down until I was sitting on the ground with my back against the wall, my head still hidden in my hands. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't realize I wasn't alone until someone tapped me on the shoulder. My head jerked up. Well, speak of the devil. There stood the cause of all my troubles, looking as uncomfortable as I felt. 

"Shikamaru!" Startled, I sprang up from my place on the ground and ended up hitting my head on his chin. I fell back on the ground, and he somehow stayed upright, wincing in pain and rubbing his chin.

"Nice to see you too, Temari," he grumbled. 

"Sorry," I apologized. "You caught me by surprise. I didn't even hear you come up."

"I know, I have awesome ninja skills," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Still, for someone who seems to hear every little thing I mumble under my breath, that was odd. You're usually not that out of it."

"Um...I was just...thinking," I tried to cover up. "About..."

"About?" Shikamaru asked, looking as if he wanted me to say something.

"About...my father coming to the school next week," I lied. For just a split second, so fast I almost thought I imagined it, Shikamaru's face betrayed disappointment. He had been expecting me to say something else. But as I said, it was only for a moment, and suddenly he was back to his indifferent self.

"Oh...so, how's the plan coming along?" he asked, grabbing my hand to help me up from the dirt. I stood, but our hands stayed connected. Then we simultaneously let go, looking away, embarassed. 

"It's going okay," I answered him, willing away the blush that threatened to spread across my face. "I think it just might work. Then again, there's always Murphy's law."

Shikamaru sighed. "Yep," he agreed. "'Anything that can go wrong _will_ go wrong.' Never fails." 

"I'm going to see Ino. She should be almost ready to leave by now," I said, changing the subject.

"I was going to do the exact same thing. I'll come with you." 

We set off. There was a long silence, awkward and suffocating, both of us at a loss for words. Finally, trying to kill two birds with one stone by ending the silence _and _slowly revealing my feelings for Shikamaru, I reached out my hand and grabbed his.

He looked at me, startled, before trying to remove his hand. "Temari, what are you doing?" he asked. "Let go of my hand. What are you trying to pull?"

I simply tightened my grip. "Just wanted to see what people's reactions would be if they thought we were, you know, a couple." At the _c-_word, Shikamaru looked as if he'd been slapped. I continued, "They were already looking at us funny. I want to know exactly what they would say if it was more obvious." Shikamaru still looked confused, but he stopped pulling his hand away, even though I could see his ears turning red. I swung our hands between us as we walked. People started to notice this change in events, and as they walked by, I noticed two reactions: either their mouths would drop open and their eyes widen in surprise, or they would do a double-take and then pretend they didn't see anything, looking at the ground. 

After a few minutes of unwanted attention, Shikamaru grumbled, "Having fun?"

"Actually, yes," I said happily. I was thoroughly enjoying myself. Partly because a mortified Shikamaru is exremely amusing, but mostly because I had always wanted to do this. I just wished I hadn't had to force it on him. Hopefully he'd get used to it, because this wasn't going to be a one time thing.

Finally we arrived at the infirmary, and Shikamaru, looking relieved, quickly removed his hand from mine. I didn't blame him. The hand-holding thing _was _kind of out-of-nowhere. I wasn't worried. It would eventually become routine, I was sure of it. Well, not _sure_, per se, but confident.

We walked into Ino's room, and I gasped when I realized Ino was gone. 

"Nurse! Nurse!" I called. She came rushing up to me. "Where's Ino?"

"What do you mean?" she said. "She's right here." She looked around the room, and then said, "Oh."

"What do you mean, 'oh'?" I yelled. "She couldn't have left already, we would've seen her! So where is she?"

"Please, calm down. It really isn't that serious. Ino's just--"

"Ino's just what?" said Ino herself, standing in the doorway. All three of us turned around. 

"Ino! Where the hell were you?" I exclaimed, relieved and angry. "I thought you had run away, or...or something."

"God, Temari, I was just taking a shower," she said, rolling her eyes. "See? My hair's still wet and everything. I didn't die or anything." Ino grabbed the few things she had with her and started for the door again. "By the way, I can leave now. As a matter of fact, I was just about to. Let's go." 

Suddenly, I was exhausted. I plopped down on the uncomfortable green vinyl chair in the waiting room. Shikamaru and Ino realized I wasn't behind them and stopped, circling back to me. 

"Temari, what's up with you?" Ino asked.

"I'm...I'm just tired," I said, my shoulders slumping.

"You seem really stressed lately," Ino said, looking worriedly at me. "You want to talk about it?"

I flashed a quick look at Shikamaru. He was watching me, looking concerned. "Um...maybe later," I told Ino. I was lying, of course. I couldn't tell Ino that I was dying for Shikamaru to know how much I liked him, but still terrified of him finding out. And even if I was going to tell Ino, I couldn't do it right then, with the object of my affections standing right there. No, I'd just keep it to myself until the right time came.

"I'm fine," I assured them, standing up. "Let's go. I just need a long nap, that's all." The two of them still looked wary, but we headed out of the building into the cold December sunshine. Ino held my hand, and I took Shikamaru's hand. Luckily, this time he wasn't as taken aback and he didn't resist. Walking like that, I realized, we must have looked like the best of friends. Now that I thought about it, we were. And thinking about that, something exremely unexpected and humiliating happened.

I started to cry.

Right there, out in the open. It wasn't even silent crying, no, a giant sob escaped from my lungs and echoed in the clear wintry air. Shikamaru and Ino turned to me, startled, as I wrapped my arms around myself and sank to the ground, blubbering as though my heart was breaking. And it was. There was no way I could leave the school now. I loved these people; they were like another family to me. If I left...I didn't know what would happen to me. Hell, I didn't know what was happening to me now. I wouldn't be surprised if I was finally having the psychiatric breakdown I'd been expecting for years now.

Ino and Shikamaru were shocked. This was the _last _thing they would've expected from someone like me. I didn't blame them. It was the last thing I would've expected from myself. At first it seemed like they didn't know what to do. Then Ino knelt down next to me and held me tightly to her. After a moment, Shikamaru did the same. I felt like a big baby, sitting on the ground crying my eyes out and being cradled by my two best friends. It was the most embarrassing thing I'd ever done. Thankfully, I had on a giant hooded jacket, and with Ino and Shikamaru covering me with themselves, nobody would be able to tell who I was. Still, I felt so stupid and ashamed. I had actually cried in front of Shikamaru. Now he probably thought I was just another girl who talked shit but was a big softie. Which made me cry harder.

I've got to give them props, Shikamaru and Ino held on all through my short storm of tears. Not once did they laugh, or make me feel stupider than I already did. They were really good friends, in every aspect of the word. Thank god, eventually I stopped, and my sobs subsided to sniffles, and I somehow stood up, leaning on them. Ino pulled some tissues out from some hidden pocket and handed them to me. I felt horribly self conscious as I wiped my face and blew my nose. 

"Hey, Ino, do I look as bad as I feel?" I asked, trying to sound cheerful.

She half-smiled back. "I'm not sure exactly how you feel, but...you do look pretty bad." She handed me a mirror (where did _that_ come from?) and as soon as I looked into it, I groaned and handed it back. Puffy, pinkish-red was definitely not my color.

This whole time, Shikamaru kind of stood off to one side, looking away. I figured he was embarrassed for me.

"Shikamaru," I called him. He turned and quickly glanced at me and then away. It was as if he couldn't stand seeing me like this. "I know I'm not at my usual sexiness level right now," I joked, "but is it so bad you can't even look?" 

He tried to smile, but looked as though he had some of his own tears to shed. I wouldn't know why, though. 

"Temari, maybe you should just rest for a while," Ino said, worried. "I think you might be having a nervous breakdown."

"I think I might be losing my mind," I replied.

Later on we were all hanging out in the room Ino and I shared. Shikamaru still seemed preoccupied, and quieter than usual.

"Shikamaru, you depressed or something?" I asked, trying to draw him out of his silence. "Whatcha doing, thinking about how much you're going to miss me?"

He looked up sharply, and with a burst of women's intuition I realized that was exactly what he had been thinking about. "Oh...sorry," I apologized awkwardly. "I didn't...I mean..."

"It's okay," Shikamaru said. "It isn't your fault." He shifted on the floor where he was sitting. "Um...Temari?"

"Yeah?" I asked, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe...

"Do you...I mean, why were...What was that whole thing yesterday when you...you know..." He glanced at Ino. To say it, or not to say it? That seemed to be the question on his mind as he looked meaningfully at me, as if to ask, _Is it okay if I say it in front of Ino?_ I nodded. She would find out eventually anyway.

"When you...well...um..." Shikamaru's face was growing red.

"Kissed you?" I said bluntly. Ino looked up from her magazine, a gossiper's gleam in her eye. It was like she had a sixth sense for juicy information. 

"Yeah," he said sheepishly. "Was that part of your nervous breakdown thing or what?"

"I guess you could say that," I replied. "I..." I bit my lip. I really, really, _really_ wanted to tell him what was on my mind, but what would he think? What would he say?

Then the worst thought popped into my head: What if he _laughed_ at me? 

What if he didn't like me back? What if he told me I didn't have a chance? What if he took a page from Neji's book and told me it wasn't our "destiny" to be together?

My stomach was in my throat and I felt like I was going to puke big-time.

Shikamaru and Ino were looking at me expectantly.

I could hear my heart beating in my ears, pounding out a not-so-steady rhythm.

"Like..." Shikamaru continued tentatively. "...did you mean it?"

At that moment, I think a little piece of my brain exploded.

And I thought, _To hell with destiny._

"Yes, I meant it," I said, softer than I meant to.

"What?" Ino asked. 

"I said, I meant it," I said louder. "I meant it!" Ino flinched when I yelled. 

I turned to Shikamaru, growing giddy from this release of emotion. "Shikamaru, don't tell me you don't have a clue! I've been dropping hints for who knows how long, and you actually asked me if I _meant_ it? Why would I basically throw you up against a wall and make out with you if I didn't _mean_ it? Hell, why would I even talk to you if I didn't mean it? Don't you get it? I...I..." At a loss for words, I snatched Shikamaru by the front of the shirt and kissed him, trying to express everything I couldn't put into words with my lips.

That was when everything started to go into slow motion.

Ino gasped and reached for her camera phone, babbling something about preserving this moment for all eternity. But I wasn't paying attention to Ino.

By then Shikamaru wasn't clueless anymore. And even though a small part of my brain was still registering Ino freaking out and snapping pictures in the background, I was a lot more focused on, um, expressing myself, if you get what I mean. Shikamaru seemed to enjoy expressing himself as well, and from the energy with which he was communicating his artistic side, I assumed (correctly) that he was just as infatuated with me as I was with him. I also assumed (correctly) that he had been waiting for me to say something so he wouldn't have to. Which made me angry, but not angry enough to affect the make-out session we were having on the floor of the dorm room. In the back of my mind, a faint voice was saying something about the people in the room beneath us getting mad because of Ino's jumping around, but at that point I really didn't care. 

When we broke for air, Shikamaru was coming back at my face when I stopped him.

"You understand what I was saying, right?" I asked breathlessly.

Shikamaru was panting. "I got the gist of it, I think."

"I'm sorry, I'm not very good at expressing my feelings--"

"I like how you express your feelings," Shikamaru interrupted me, and we began our game of tonsil hockey once more, as Ino continued squealing and taking pictures of us with my tongue halfway down Shikamaru's throat.

I had to admit, I was the happiest I had been in a long time.

**A/N: F.Y.I, I was doped up when I wrote this chapter and last chapter too, so if you catch some typos (I know I did, once I re-read them .) that's the reason why. Sorry!**

**About this chapter...um...well, it sure was crazy, wasn't it? Finally they express their feelings, though not in the traditional way involving words. Who needs words, anyway? You can express yourself more efficiently with body language. **

**Whoa...I just realized that tomorrow's Easter. I'm so out of it. Anyway, have a good weekend, you guys. Bite the heads off lots of cute little chocolate bunnies. Devour caramel eggs. And for you daredevils out there, stick some Marshmallow Peeps in the microwave. Just be prepared to clean up afterwards. XD**

**I really need to shut up now.**

**Hugs and kisses, luvvies! xoxoxox **

**P.S. I'm not British. Why did I say "luvvies"? O.o**


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Hey, everyone

**A/N: Hey, everyone!! How was your Easter? I spent mine stuffing my face and wishing my parents weren't so strict. Listen to this: we went to my dad's friend's house, and his kids are CRAZY AMAZING. The oldest one, Josie (she's 17) offered to dye my hair for me. She had bleach and everything right there in her bathroom. But of course, my parents would have a heart attack, so I couldn't. Can you believe that? I was **_**this**_** close to having neon hair. **_**This close!!**_** Oh well. I guess I'll have to wait until I'm out of the house. Just three more years...sigh. Graduation seems a long way away when you're in the ninth grade. Okay, enough bitching and moaning. Time to read.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is a result of Masashi Kishimoto's genius. What more can I say? It's a masterpiece.**

Over the next week or so, I was pretty much in a daze.

But you can't blame me, right? Who _wouldn't_ be in a complete stupor after what happened?

I had to organize it in my brain just to get it straight, and even then I couldn't believe it: the girl I had wanted for god knows how long actually confessed that she had similar feelings towards me and then engaged me in heavy petting. While one of my best friends hyperventilated and snapped photos that would inevitably end up on MeSpace.

Come on, how often does that happen in real life? Almost never. But somewhere in the universe, some mystical being decided that I was worth it, and zapped Temari with some _serious_ hormones that made her latch on to me whenever she got the chance. Of course, I wasn't complaining.

The only downside to the whole thing was that everyone had found out what was going on. I mean, you couldn't miss it. Temari and I holding hands. Temari and I staring into each other's eyes. Temari and I making out under the stairs. You'd have to be blind, deaf, and stupid not to understand that we were "an item," as Ino called it.

So now the student body was divided into two groups. There were the supporters, who were forever squealing about how adorable we were together. They weren't so bad, except they seemed to pop up everywhere, like a little mob of stalkers. Then there were the critics, who also seemed to pop up everywhere, but weren't as nice. The critic group was made up of people who had wanted either me or Temari for themselves, and were angry that we had ended up together instead of with them. It was no surprise that there were guys who hated me now, but I had no idea how many girls secretly harbored feelings for me. I never noticed, but now they were all coming out of the woodwork, and weren't staying quiet any longer. I felt kind of bad for Temari now that half of the female student body wanted to tear her limb from limb, but when I told her that, she simply grinned and said, "If they want you, they're going to have to fight me for you." I didn't think anyone wanted to fight Temari.

Anyway, our main problem was still with Temari's dad. We had been kind of fretting over it when, three days before parent day, she got a message from him.

"Hey, you guys," she said, running up to where a bunch of us were just hanging around. "I got an email from my dad. He's coming."

"Ho-lee shit," Kankurou said, almost falling over. "God, Temari, can you warn me before you drop a bomb like that? Dude."

"Shut up, Kankurou," she said. "Anyway, he told me he's coming to check everything out. He wants to meet all my teachers, take a tour of the school, look in the dorms (so Ino, you'd better take down the posters of those shirtless guys), and meet all my friends. Just so you know, he's going to grill your asses, so be prepared to tell him all about yourself. And trust me, he can smell lies."

"So I need to go ahead and spread the word about everyone being good on parent day?" Ino asked.

"Yes, Ino, I'm giving you the all clear. Most people are going to be on their best behavior for their own parents anyway, but just in case. I can't let anything or any_one_ screw this up." Temari was pacing. "Now I've got to clean the dorm, dispose of anything even slightly incriminating, delete my history, clean out my binder, throw away the notes I was passing with TenTen, get my brothers presentable..." she muttered to herself, ticking off some to-do list I didn't even know she had.

"Does this happen often?" I asked. It looked like she had gone through something like this before.

She stopped and looked at me. "You have no idea," she said. "Every time there's the chance I'll get in trouble, I get rid of my tracks. When you live with my father, you learn from your mistakes." Temari resumed pacing, and I closed my eyes. Her going back and forth was giving me a migraine.

"We've got to be ready for anything he can throw out. That means if he asks you something you weren't prepared for, _no surprised facial expression!!_" Temari ordered, looking fiercely at us. "He'll pick up even the slightest move, so you can't be caught off guard, do you understand?"

"Sure," Kankurou said, rolling his eyes.

"That was a rhetorical question!!" Temari shouted at him. "I didn't need an answer! You'll do what I say if you know what's good for you!"

"Alright, alright," he said, holding his hands up in front of him. "No need to go PMS on me."

"Please don't," I added. Temari with pre-menstrual syndrome...equals hell.

She shot a look at us, then shook her head. "Sorry, but I'm dead serious about this going smoothly," she said. "If any of you fuck this up..."

"You'll kill us, and then yourself," I filled in. "We know the drill. There's nothing to worry about, Temari, it'll be fine. Now, can you please sit down? You're making me dizzy."

Temari sighed, and then took a seat next to me. She leaned into me and, wrapping her arms around my middle, kissed me on the cheek.

"Shikamaru, did I ever tell you that you're my stress reliever?" she said, smiling.

"Glad to be of service," I replied, hugging her to me.

"Ugh. Please stop," Kankurou said disgustedly.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Do you know how hard it is to have to sit here and watch my sister get felt up by some guy?" he said, glaring at me. "I'm still getting used to the fact that you two are together now. If it was any other way, I'd kill you. Not to mention Gaara would too."

I cringed. "The old story of the violent in-laws, huh?" I said, laughing nervously. "No pleasant family reunions for us, I suppose."

"So you want to get married now?" Temari asked, looking up at me.

"N-no, that is, it was just an expression," I stuttered. "Why would I want to get married?"

Temari sat up, looking dangerously at me. "Are you saying you wouldn't want to marry me?" she asked.

"What, my sister not good enough for you, asshole?" Kankurou jumped in. I started to sweat. It all happened so fast. When did they turn on me?

"No! I mean, I would marry Temari, I'd love to marry Temari, it's just that we're only teenagers," I tried to explain, still confused as to what had just happened here.

Temari accepted the semi-apology and snuggled into my side with a happy noise. Kankurou glared at me for another moment, then laughed, "Nice save, dude."

I sighed in relief. I had the feeling that I just had a near-death experience.

Later on, Temari was drilling us all on correct responses to her father's questions.

"Now, Shikamaru, if he asks you whether you play sports, what do you say?" she asked me.

"Um...yes?" I answered, not sure of whether I was right or wrong.

"Wrong!" she yelled. "You tell him that you play sports if you have the time, but you don't really have extra time due to all your studying. Then he'll ask you what kind of grades you have. What do you say to that?"

"Straight A's," I said, confident that I answered right.

"Wrong!" she yelled again. "You'll sound cocky if you say that. What you _should_ say is that you try as hard as you can and generally make good grades, but that you aren't sure what your grade average is as of yet, because you haven't gotten your results. Got it?"

We were all tired. Temari had us practicing for hours on end, drilling the right answers into our minds so that there was no way any of us could mess it up. Except me, of course.

"Temari, we're exhausted," I said. "Can we take a break? Please?"

She looked surprised, as if she had just woken up from trance or something. "Oh...sure. Of course," she said distractedly. "Sorry. I just... never mind."

"We understand," Ino assured her. "But we're only human. I feel like my head's about to explode."

Temari sighed and sat down. "I know, but...I can't stop. What can I say? I'm a perfectionist."

"We know, we know," Kankurou said. "It's pretty obvious."

"Three days," Temari murmured. "Only three days left. Something's going to mess it all up, I know it."

"Nothing's going to happen, Temari," Ino said, hugging her. "Everything's going to be fine. It's going to go great."

"Sure," Temari said, not convinced. "Try telling that to my stomach. I think I'm getting an ulcer."

The next day, all Temari did was worry, and all the rest of us did was suffer at her hands. She kept us on our toes with possible questions from her father, constantly reminding us that we had to ready and prepared for anything that might come our way.

She popped out unexpectedly from behind a door and started asking questions. It scared the crap out of me.

"What do you do if he asks you about politics?" she shouted, having just jumped out.

"Holy crap, Temari, you almost gave me a heart attack!" I said, leaning back against the wall and holding my hand to my chest.

"Just answer the question."

"Um...I don't know," I admitted, tired of pretending that I _did_ know.

"See, there's the problem!" she said. "You guys aren't ready! And I've got to prepare you. We only have forty-eight hours until he gets here. Now, if he asks you about politics..." Temari kept talking, but I kind of zoned out. I was bushed, and I guess it showed because she suddenly yelled, "Shikamaru! Are you falling asleep while I'm talking to you? This is important information you need to know. Stand up straight!"

I thought I was in hell.

The day before parent day.

I woke up that morning wishing that I could just go back to sleep and trust that everything would be okay. But deep down, I knew that I had to help. Otherwise, who knew what could happen?

I got dressed and went downstairs, walking out of the dorm only to be ambushed by Temari and Ino. Temari was excited (in the bad way), and Ino was desperate for help.

"Shikamaru, help me," Ino whispered so Temari wouldn't hear. "She's been drilling me since five in the morning. Do something!"

"What am I supposed to do?" I whispered back. "I've got it just as bad as you do. Besides, why would she listen to me?"

"You're her boyfriend, right? Grow some balls and stop her!"

Ouch. That was harsh. "My balls were intact last time I checked, Ino," I shot back. "There's plenty of testosterone rushing through my veins. I'd stop her if she'd listen, but she won't, so quit with the gender-related insults." Ino backed off, but still looked sulky.

_Great_, I thought to myself. _It's only eight in the morning, and you've already got Ino mad at you. This day is going to suck balls._

_Why do we keep talking about balls?!_

Temari pulled me out of my thoughts. "Shikamaru, are you listening to me?" she asked, hand on hip. "My dad's arriving _tomorrow_. Do you know what that means? It means that in less than twenty-four hours, you're going to have to answer to the devil."

"If he's the devil, what does that make you?" I muttered under my breath.

"I heard that!" she said. "You think this is hell? You have no idea."

**A/N: I know what you're thinking: "Oh-em-eff-gee, he's coming **_**tomorrow**_**?! How the hell did **_**that**_** happen?" **

**Well, I guess I'll have to confess now...there's only one more chapter after this. And then maybe an epilogue. But this story is coming to an end, and I wish it wasn't, but I can feel it in my ovaries. Woman's intuition, you know what I mean. XD**

**No worries, though! Just because this story's wrapping up doesn't mean I'll stop writing, oh no, I'm just beginning. This has opened up a whole new world of fanfic-writing for me, and I'm not about to quit anytime soon. By the way, I **_**am**_** taking requests, so if you got a story you'd like me to write, hit me up. Just tell me in a review (I know, it's a cheap way to get reviews, but you can't blame me) and I will most likely do it. I'm fine with yaoi and yuri, too. And I love crack pairings. Basically, I'm open to anything. **

**No porn, though! I don't understand how people who have never had sex are able to write sex scenes. I am a proud virgin (how many people can say that?) and I wouldn't know where to start. Well, I would, but it wouldn't be very convincing for those of you who actually have...um...experience. Lawlz.**

**Please, don't hesitate to suggest any story ideas. If I stop this one and I don't have another one to work on, I might spiral into a deep depression. Can you imagine me being emo? Yeah, me neither. So...review!**

**I lubs joo all.**

**P.S. Maybe I should stop putting "XOXO" because X stands for kisses, and I'm not sure I want to kiss all of you. I might get mono. Or herpes. I don't know where your mouths have been. JK! I'll still put "XOXO." I love you guys enough that I don't care what you might have, I'll internet-kiss you anyway. Duuuude...this is a long-ass author's note. Bye! **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Oh. My. God. Here it is. The last chapter. Is anybody out there as depressed about this as I am? Ah well, c'est la vie. We might as well enjoy what we've got left, right? Right. So, let's get through this together. I can tell you right now, this is a very...**_**odd**_** chapter. Even more so than all the others. Temari's daddy is in da house, and as we all know, it isn't going to be that easy to convince him that everything's marvelous. I'm going to stop giving it away now, and let you read, 'kay? 'Kay.**

**Disclaimer: I'm gonna sing it! "Narutooooooo...belongs to Masaaaaaashi Kishimotoooo..." **

**-- **

It was Doomsday.

Officially the end of life as we knew it.

And all I could focus on was shining my shoes.

"Um, Temari?" Ino asked tentatively as I attacked my dress shoes with black shoe polish. "I think you're about to wear a hole through your shoe."

I stopped, looked at her, and looked back down at the shoe. "Oh. Right." I reluctantly put the shoe down, standing up.

"It isn't that serious," she reminded me. "It's just parent day. We meet your dad, take him around campus, he leaves, and you stay. That simple. Now, stop pacing before I tie you to a chair."

I didn't even realize that I was pacing until she pointed it out.

"I think you need to relax. Let's go grab a snack," she said, leading me towards the door of the room.

"No!" I said, louder than I meant for it to be. Ino looked at me funny. "I mean, I can't," I said.

"And why not?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"With my luck, I'll end up getting my snack all over my clothes," I said, sitting back down. "I can't afford for anything to go wrong. But I still have the feeling that no matter what, no matter how hard I try, the shit's gonna hit the fan."

"Your hair's going to go white," Ino scolded me. "And then you'll look like Kakashi with pigtails and boobs. Stop worrying! I swear, sometimes I think you have an anxiety disorder or something."

"Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if I did."

"Pessimist."

"Optimist."

"Why, thank you."

"It wasn't a compliment, Ino," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Whatever. I took it as one," she replied, flipping her hair and grinning. "Now come _on_! We have to go meet the others."

"Fine." I sighed. "I wish this was over. I really wish this was over. I really, _really_ wish this was--"

"Temari." Ino turned to face me, holding both my hands in hers, staring me hard in the eyes. "Stop it. Just...stop it. I can't take this much longer. Stop wishing. We're going to make it happen, okay? So unless you can be positive about this, shut the _fuck_ up." This last part was said with so much force I actually blinked. Taking advantage of my shock, Ino turned and dragged me down the hallway, down the stairs (I don't know why we took the stairs, we had an elevator) and out the door. On the porch were Shikamaru, Kankurou, TenTen, and Gaara.

"Um...hi, you guys." I waved, trying to smile, and failing miserably.

"You okay?" Kankurou said. "You look a little green."

"Oh, yep, fine, everything's fine, it's all just peachy, yep, life's great," I said, nodding and smiling. I guess it wasn't very convincing because everyone just raised their eyebrows at me.

"Okay, you want to know the truth? I'm not okay. I'm not o-fucking-kay!" They all flinched, except for Gaara. "My head's about to explode, my heart's pounding out a hip-hop beat and besides all that, my stomach's doing cartwheels around my spleen. I'm definitely not okay." I think I started twitching.

After a moment of silence, Shikamaru stepped forward and folded me into his arms. "I think you need a hug," he said, and just held me. When I said he was my stress-reliever, I wasn't lying. At that moment he was like a drug.

"Glad that's settled," TenTen said, relieved. "I thought we were going to have to give you a tranquilizer at first."

"You'd need an elephant tranquilizer to bring Temari down," Kankurou joked. Gaara's face twitched into what could almost be called a smile.

I simply nestled deeper into Shikamaru's chest (remember, he was, like, a foot taller than me) and sighed happily, breathing in his smell.

His smell? I thought for a second. He never smelled that way before. Something was...

"Shikamaru?" I asked.

"Hm?" he murmured.

"Are you wearing cologne?" I asked curiously.

He blushed. "Uh...yeah," he admitted. "Is there a problem?"

"No," I said. "As a matter of fact, my dad will love it. It's very bold."

He rolled his eyes. "Do you think I care whether your _dad_ likes it?" he asked me. "He's not the one I was planning on cuddling with."

"Awww!" Ino squealed. "You guys are just so _cuuuute!_"

"Tch," Kankurou snorted. "Give me a break."

"Aw, you're just jealous, Kankurou," I teased him. "You're mad 'cause I got a man and you don't."

"Please, woman, you think I'm jealous because I don't have a _man_?" he asked sarcastically. "For your information, I don't want a _man_, thank you very much. If I did, I'm sure I could arrange something with Sas-gay."

"Ooh," TenTen giggled. "Burn, Sasuke!"

"I'm quite sure you could, Kankurou," I said sweetly. "Quite sure."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," I said, giving him a sugary smile.

"Why, you--" Kankurou began.

"Hey, hey, enough with the gender jokes!" Shikamaru said vehemently. We all stared. We'd never seen him that loud.

"You're very passionate about this, aren't you?" I asked, confused as to why he was so loud about it.

"It's just...never mind," he grumbled. I could've sworn I heard him mutter, "At least they didn't start up with the balls comments again..."

Then again, I couldn't hear very well, being pressed against Shikamaru's abdomen. I wasn't complaining, though.

--

We headed for the main building, where we were supposed to be meeting our parents. I was fidgety and couldn't stop moving. It felt like there were caterpillars wearing military boots marching around in my stomach.

"Any minute now, you're going to spontaneously combust," Shikamaru commented as I paced and muttered to myself.

"What?" I said, looking up.

"Will you just _relax_?" he said irratably.

"Don't you think I would if I could?" I shot back. "Anyway, don't tell me _you're_ not nervous."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm just as nervous as you are," he said. "But the difference between me and you is that I'm actively trying to get rid of that anxiety. You, on the other hand, are embracing it."

I was just about to tell him that I didn't need his textbook theories when Ino ran up to us, eyes shining with excitement.

I knew what she was about to say before the words left her mouth.

"He's here."

"Oh shit," I said, running my hands nervously through my already frizzy hair. "Shit, shit, _shit_."

Ino smacked me on the shoulder. I looked up, shocked. "Pull yourself together, woman!" she ordered me. "We're all just as stressed out as you are. But this isn't the best time to blow a fuse. We don't want you going crazy out here."

I sighed, smoothed my clothes, straightened my shoulders and lifted my chin. "Alright," I said deliberately, striding for the door. "Time to face to music."

--

I'll give my dad this: he's got presence.

When he walked in it seemed like even the birds were quiet. He was the epitome of self-confidence and poise, and everyone else parted like the Red Sea as he headed in a straight line towards me, his laser eyes picking out mine among the ocean of faces.

He came to a stop two feet away from me, a suitable distance. We had never been the type of family to stand close together.

"Temari," he acknowledged me in that powerful voice he often used to bend his inferiors to his will.

I had to clear my throat several times before I was able to reply, "Hello, Father," in a relatively confident voice.

Apparently satisfied with the greeting, he looked me over, making a noise of approval at my neat and put-together appearance, along with those of my brothers. (Excluding our hair, of course. For some reason it was just impossible to get any of our hair to behave, even with a mountain of mousse and gel and whatever else you can think of. You name it, we've tried it. Nothing works.)

There was a suffocating silence as he examined my friends, who shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. It was an eternity until he finally said, "Shall we sit?" and headed over to the tables that had been set up for that purpose.

We drifted uneasily after him, like a school of apprehensive jellyfish, and I whispered to my friends, "We passed first inspection. Now comes the hard part."

"I thought that _was_ the hard part," Ino whispered back. "There's more?"

"Oh, much more," I said bitterly. Shikamaru groaned, and I shot him an apologetic look. I didn't mean for any of them to get stuck in this mess.

Father was already sitting down at a table. My brothers and I sat with him, but the table was only seated for four, and the others were resigned to sit at a table next to us. Everyone was giving each other nervous glances, and I wanted to tell them to sit up straight, but I couldn't say it out loud, so I settled for giving them meaningful looks. They got the idea and sat up so rigidly they could've been corpses in rigor mortis.

"So," my father began. "This school. Has it met my expectations?"

"Most definitely," I said confidently. I had drilled the answer to this question a million times. "The classes and curriculum are flawless, though they _do_ tend to work us a little hard"-- at this he smiled (I knew it would be a good card to play)--"but I've learned a lot. The buildings are kept absolutely spotless, but we're still expected to clean up after ourselves, and--"

"And the students?" he interrupted.

I didn't miss a beat. "Everyone is extremely well behaved. I was surprised, to say the least, at how polite and well-bred the students are here." If we hadn't been so scared of making a mistake, I'm sure Kankurou would have rolled his eyes right then. As it was, he merely cleared his throat (quietly, of course) as if he had a cough.

"Is that so." It was a statement, not a question. "Well. I'm glad to hear that."

He didn't sound very glad. In fact, he sounded suspicious.

"Ask anyone," I responded. "Everyone's so morally upright at this school that it's actually a little boring. No drinking, no drug busts, no pregnancies, no fights..."

He looked sharply at me. "Really?" he asked. "No fights? None whatsoever?"

I knew that he was really asking whether I was fighting. "None whatsoever," I said firmly, looking him straight in the eyes.

After a moment of...um...I suppose you could call it a battle of wills, my father (to the relief of everyone present) laughed heartily and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms.

"Very nice, Temari," he said, smiling. "That was strong. Very good."

I hadn't known I was holding my breath until then. Apparently, neither did anyone else, since everyone let it out at the same time.

--

Later on, during dessert, we were eating the most _heavenly_ chocolate mousse ever made in the history of the earth when my father asked (very nonchalantly), "So, Kankurou, what's this I hear about you having contraband in school?"

Poor Kanky choked on his dessert.

While we waited as he hacked like a smoker, trying to clear all traces of chocolate mousse from his lungs, I stepped in and said, "From what I understand, what happened was--"

"Quiet, Temari," my father said, holding up his hand to silence me. "I want to hear it from Kankurou."

By then he had finished coughing, and looked oddly like a deer in the headlights.

"Well," he said, clearing his throat again, "see, here's the thing. First of all, it wasn't mine."

"A man never blames his mistakes on other people, Kankurou," my father said sternly. "You'd do well to learn that lesson now."

Kankurou gulped.

"Okay."

"Continue."

"Alright. Um, well, I was caught with a pornographic magazine in my dorm room, and even though it wasn't mine"-- here my father looked severely at him-- "it was my fault for reading it. It was a mistake I won't make again, you can be sure."

There was a _long_ silence (with my dad, you get a lot of those) as he scrutinized Kankurou. I felt bad for Kanky. It isn't easy being subject to one of my dad's glares for more than a few seconds.

Then he blew out a breath, picked up his spoon, and took a bite of chocolate mousse. We were all on the edge of our seats as he thoughtfully swallowed it.

"Now, Kankurou, I'm going to say this once, and once only," he said, pointing his spoon at my brother's face. "If you think you're old enough to see these things, then fine." Kankurou slumped in relief. "But I'll tell you one thing: if you decide you're also old enough to have sex--"

"Dad!" Kankurou said, mortified.

He chuckled. "Just kidding," he said. "Don't worry, I'm sure you're not having sex."

Kankurou sat back, not looking like a deer anymore. Then he thought about what my dad said. "Wait a second! What's that supposed to mean?"

Our father simply looked at him, a hint of a smile playing about the corners of his mouth. "You don't think I'd be able to tell?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No! I mean, yes. I mean, I'm not, but if I were, you..." Kankurou spluttered.

"No worries, Kankurou," my dad laughed. "I know how it is. You're getting older, you're going through changes, you've got hormones going everywhere. It's perfectly normal."

"Dad!" Kankurou exclaimed again. I felt kind of bad for him, but I couldn't suppress the giggle rising in my throat. It was too funny.

"So," Gaara spoke up. Everyone looked at him in surprise. "Does this mean things are good with you and Kankurou now?" he asked our father.

"Depends on what you mean by 'good,'" he replied. "If you mean he isn't in trouble, then yes, things are good." Kankurou sighed. "But I'm going to be watching him like a hawk to make sure nothing like this _ever happens again_. Isn't that right, Kankurou?"

"Oh, y-yeah," he stammered.

I cleared my throat. Now, I just had to ask that final question. "Since we're all one big happy family now...does this...does this mean we're not leaving?"

My father glared sharply at me. "Leaving?" he asked incredulously. "Whatever gave you that ridiculous idea?!"

I couldn't help it. I let out a hysterical laugh that echoed off the walls, expressing my joy, relief, and all-around fatigue. Everything had worked out.

--

We had finished the chocolate mousse and were taking my father for a tour of the school when everything we had worked for was smashed into smithereens.

We were in the dorms, showing him Gaara's room, when there was a crashing noise.

Being human, we stepped into the hallway to see what it was.

More crashes and noise came from the room next to Gaara's. We also caught snatches of a voice cursing at something.

Suddenly the door slammed open, and someone spilled out. It was a boy, younger than me. Then someone else came after him, an adult, seeming to be his father. His father was screaming.

"How _dare_ you do this?" he screeched. "How _dare_ you?!" Striding angrily over to his son, he pulled back his hand and slapped him across the face, hard. I heard Ino and TenTen gasp.

The boy stood up, and we saw that he was drunk. His clothes were rumpled, and his eyes were red. Stumbling, he fell against the wall, as his father set upon him again, smacking him in the face and yelling.

"I can't believe this! I send you to the best schools in the country, give you everything you would ever need, and _this_ is how you repay me?" He kicked him in the ribs. Even I flinched at that. "I've invested so much money in you, and what do you do with it? You rub it in my _face_!" Another vicious kick. The boy was in a ball on the floor.

"I'm so _sick _and _tired_ of this! You're going to learn to listen to me if it kills you!" And with that, the man began beating his son. I watched it, this sad display of human character, until my father grabbed my by the shoulder.

"We're leaving," he said curtly, taking everyone and steering them towards the door, like a shepherd with his flock.

I looked at my father and felt a chill down my spine. He had that shrewd, cold, hard look in his eye that I had seen too many times. And in that second, I knew what was coming.

"You three aren't staying in this school," he said harshly, shaking his head in disgust. "Not when there are students whose parents treat them that was are here. No, we're going back home. Now. We can get your things later."

In slow motion, almost as if we were underwater, I could see Kankurou pleading with him to let us stay. Ino and TenTen joined his cause, and the three of them begged my father not to take us away. I was almost amused, because I knew that they could talk until they were blue in the face and it wouldn't make an ounce of difference. When he made up his mind, he made up his mind, and nothing short of a miracle would change that.

I looked at Shikamaru. He looked much like I expected I looked: partly in shock, partly depressed, and partly exhausted. All that work, for nothing.

Nothing.

Everything we had, everything we'd been, everything we did, gone.

All we had worked for, all we wanted, all we could be, vanished, never to be again.

At that point I think I went into some kind of unconscious state, without fainting.

The next thing I knew, I was being pulled to the car, and put in the front passenger seat. Looking out of the window, I could see Ino weeping and TenTen trying her best to comfort her.

And I could see Shikamaru, standing stock still and staring...just staring.

I couldn't recognize the look in his eyes, probably because I was in a daze myself.

When my father started the car, he was still standing there, unmoving.

We began to pull away.

It seemed like my body was far, far away, but I felt my heart twinge, from a distance.

And as I was driven off into the blinding, mocking afternoon sun, I could see him in the side mirror. Standing there, motionless.

Then, when we were almost out of sight, I saw him crumple onto the grass, his limbs giving way as he fell to his knees.

Like a broken china doll.

--

**A/N: Wow. **

**What else can I say? What else can you say? What else can anyone say?**

**That was the end.**

**Well, no, it wasn't, because there's an epilogue, but still. Technically the end.**

**Do you all hate my guts now? I should hope not. I still love you all. Well, tell me whatcha think. How was my ending? Freakin' depressing, I know. But I intended for it to end sad from the beginning. Didn't know how I was gonna get there, but I wanted a (technically) sad ending.**

**But have no fear! The epilogue is here! Just press that lovely little arrow button and head off to the **_**real**_** last chapter. **

**By the way, I'm desperate for story ideas now. Thanks to Temari.fl for her idea, since she was like the only one who actually gave me one. XD Only thing is, I'm not sure I want to do any more ShikaTem for a while. This was enough ShikaTem for a couple months, for me at least.**

**Seriously, guys. I need ideas. I'm not creative! I can't come up with these things on my own!! ****T.T**

**Anyway, press that button to get to the epilogue. Love you guyses!! XOXO**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Okey dokey, here's the epilogue. The **_**real**_** last chapter. There's nothing after this. It's the laaaaast one. The END.**

**God, this is freakin' depressing. I feel emo now. I'm going to listen to the "Emo Kid" song. XD**

**Read, lovelies, read! It's good for the soul.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is Masashi Kishimoto's. "Emo Kid" is **_**Adam and Andrew**_**'s.**

**--**

April. Spring. The time when everything is fresh and green and new and _alive._

But Temari was gone. Nothing was alive. Nothing could be. She was my sun.

--

I was sitting outside with Ino, listlessly throwing rocks against a wall, when a car pulled up in front of us. Ino looked up. I didn't bother. Why should I have been interested? There was nothing there that would be useful to me now.

A car door slammed.

I heard the car drive away.

Then...footsteps.

Ino gasped so hard I thought she would cause a vacuum. She sobbed, and I slowly looked up to see what had cause this.

I dropped the rock in my hand and stood up, disbelievingly. Those four pigtails...I must have been dreaming. Or hallucinating. The warm spring sun had addled my brains.

But...none of my dreams had ever been so soft and warm when you incredulously walked up and then squeezed them like you would never let go. And none of them smelled so good when you buried your face in their neck, feeling the reverbations of their bright, joyful laughter through the skin.

Looking at this dream, I asked, almost to myself, "But...how?"

"He couldn't take having me in the house anymore," she replied, laughing. "I was so depressed, it was contagious. I guess he just got sick of me."

Seeing the look on my face, Temari pinched my butt.

"Yes, I'm real," she said. "This isn't a dream. Trust me, I've had plenty of them."

I just stared at her, drinking it all in. Then instinct took over, and I found that Temari was as good a kisser as she had always been.

As Ino jumped for joy, and the birds themselves seemed to sing louder, and the sun looked like it shone brighter, and my heart felt about to burst, I just held Temari. And held her. And held her.

_This time_, I promised myself, _this time..._

_I won't let go._

_--_

**A/N: There. It's over. **

**You guys...this was an AMAZING experience. I've had so much fun writing this, and I've loved reading your reviews, because you're all such a fun bunch of people, and I feel that I have grown a lot in my writing.**

**This is one of the times that I wish I could actually meet the people I talk to on the Internet, because all I want to do right now is give you all, every single one, a giant panda bear hug. **

**But since I can't meet you all in real life, and since it's 11:15 pm as I'm writing this, and since I'm about to become a hunchback from bending over for so long, I'm going to have to end this, my last author's note of my first real story.**

**I'm reminding you all again, I am taking requesties, so if you got a pairing or a plot line or just something funny you just GOTTA have in a story, lemme know. I don't think I'm going to do anymore ShikaTem for a while. Still, ideas make me happy. Send them in. I desperately need something to write now that I'm done with this.**

**Oh! A piece of news. I have a new baby cousin! He was born last week. He's soooooo cute! **

**And I'm going to be taking Driver's Ed after Spring Break. I'm so glad. Can't wait to be able to drive legally. Right now I drive illegally all the time. XD Don't tell the cops!**

**Anyway, love you guys SOOOOOO MUCH. You have no idea. At this moment, I'm hugging you all in my mind, so hug me back. It makes me warm and fuzzy inside.**

**Peace, love, and all that good stuff. Hugs and Kisses, luvvies.**

**StoryOfMyLife975 4/03/08**


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